Was I out of line?

[Anonymous]

I (23f) have to travel a lot for work and because of that my boyfriend (24m) and I don’t get to see each other in person a lot, therefore we usually do smexy times over video calls. The other day I was feeling pretty tired but h*rny for the first time in weeks (I’ve been through a lot of personal and work related stress lately) so I initiated and then after a few distractions and interruptions he finally just said “this isn’t really doing it for me right now” (admittedly I was being kinda low effort bc I was so tired) so we stopped and started talking about other things

After a while it circled back and he ended up admitting that he was just going to get off to some porn later (not really a recurring problem, but it does happen more than i’m comfortable with) and that really killed the mood for me, so I kinda yelled at him and told him how that made me feel but I wasn’t in the mood anymore so that’s what ended up happening (he did say he was sorry but still). I just felt so hurt and brushed off

So fast forward a few nights and we’re talking on the phone and I brought up the romance novel I was reading offhandedly and how it was actually surprisingly helping me feel a little more in the mood. He asked if I wanted to video call and I blame all the pent up frustration but I kinda snapped a little and decided to mess with him a bit. I said “nah, this sex scene is really doing it for me.” and talked about how it would be “much more efficient” if I "just took care of it myself”. I then finished this when I could tell he was getting a bit irritated with “if there’s nothing else babe i’ve got something to do”, which is pretty close to something he said to me the other day (he was trying to be polite about it, I just decided to ham it up to make my point). when he said no I hung up and now that i’ve had my first org*sm in weeks i’m kinda wondering if I was being too much of a jerk and if I should walk it back

[REALSTEEL]

oh you young kids shaking my head first off y'all dont do tit for tat that shit is a kids game y'all are grown up adults that being said it seems you guy's let the the spark die in your relationship he has to be more understanding then what he is and you dont have to understand how he feels as well see men have a male ego they won't admit there true feelings how they feel you kinda got to know how he feels depending how long you been with him the porn thing is ok depending when he is jerking his monkey if he is picturing you while he is doing it or picturing somebody else? so boils down to is y'all need better "COMMUNICATION" skills

[Asker]

yep, these last few months have put a lot of stress on our relationship and we’re working on our communication. this was kind of a one-off for us and neither of us are usually ever that petty.

[REALSTEEL]

ok see remember young princess all have communication and ALWAYS KEEP THE SPARK GOING!! im all about love and romance you want to wake up next to him and look at him and fall back in love all over again

[Miristheiss]

Who cares.
He is a moron for trying to have a long distance romance with someone who is always gone and never present.
I do not know why anyone would try for a serious relationship with you. It will never work. You guys will scapegoat some symptom issue when bottom line... you are always gone... career is your life, long term relationships never work. You guys are beating your heads against the wall.

[Asker]

it’s a temporary situation until 3 months from now (max) when I can get a replacement for the travel, also we’ve been together for over 2 years. I’m looking for helpful advice pertaining to this situation, not unsolicited opinions about my boyfriend’s IQ.

[Miristheiss]

ldr do not work. I would not be surprised if you break up over this or if he is cheating because you are never there or if you are. LDRs do not work.

[Asker]

great, again this is temporary and he’s not the type to cheat. I don't know who hurt you but i’m asking for advice bc this is very out of character for us.

[wankiam]

ideally it would have been better to not play a game... just tell him you wasn't in the mood and then have a fiddle in private rather than trying to score points on some kind of masturbating over other people tally