Was I raped or seduced?

This is going to sound crazy but my boyfriend and I got into an argument on the phone last night and after it he wanted me to come over. He had money he owed me and let me know that if i wanted the money I would have to come over and get it or I'll never hear from him again. I let him know that if i come over we aren't having sex and im just coming to get the money. He said he didn't care if we had sex or not but changed it to he calls the shots and whatever he says goes. On the phone, he said something to me that made me so upset that i didn't want to have sex with him ever again. I get to his house and he's still mad at the fight. He grabs my face really hard and asked to see my phone. I said no at first but he gets so angry and snatched the phone out of my hand I was afraid to do anything. After he looks at my phone for a minute, he starts touching on me. So far he's grabbing my body and kissing on me. I just looked at him. He then pulls my pants down and grabs my butt, next thing you know he turns me around and lays me on the couch. I try to get up and asked what was he's doing and he pushed me down and wanted me to stay in the position I was in. We usually do foreplay first so this was weird. The way he pushed me down scared me so I was afraid to do anything. We get done and the first thing he says is "i thought you said you weren't coming over to have sex, why did you let me seduce you?" I really didn't want to have sex with him.

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Superb Opinion

  • "He then pulls my pants down and grabs my butt, next thing you know he turns me around and lays me on the couch. I try to get up and asked what was he's doing and he pushed me down and wanted me to stay in the position I was in. We usually do foreplay first so this was weird."

    This sounds like the kind of scenario that has played out with me and my wife many times, and she always thinks it's hot af. She says she loves it when I "take her" and ravage her body.

    Did he rape you? I don't know. Did you make it clear while it was happening that you didn't want it? Did you resist of say no when he was pulling down your pants? You asked him what he was doing, but what did that tell him?

    Women, and especially feminists, want to put all the responsibility on men in secnarios like this, but that's unfair and unrealistic. Women want men to take the lead in initiating sex, but women have a responsibility to clearly communicate their wishes when they don't want it. You can't have it both ways.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Is this even a real story?

    I refuse to go with the "believe all women" crowd. Everyone lies, that's why we have so many incarcerations being overturned by new evidence or the revelation of lies by victims or false witnesses.

Most Helpful Girls

  • That motherf***ker raped you. Have you showered, brushed your teeth or anything? If not, please go to the ER and get a raped kit done. Tell them everything, starting with the argument. Get his ass locked up. Don’t you dare let him trick you into thinking that he “seduced” you and it was consensual sex. If you choose not to do any of the above, at the very least, break up with his sorry ass. I would never trust him again.

  • Rape!

    Rape!

    He flat out raped you there was nothing seducing about it!

    Report him to the police your not the first girlfriend he has tapped and he will keep doing it to others!

    If your afraid at all it is rape! Not seduction

    You flat out said no sex! Before coming over so it was rape!

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 11
  • No words at all. This is very bad and you should report it to police immediately.

    Stay strong. The right man would definitely not do anything like that.

    Saying no should never be met with physical force. It's terrible that you had to go through this.

    Sending love ❤️

  • he raped you, without a doubt. you froze thats normal response for most victims. i hope you tell your parents and go to the cops

  • Did you ever say no to him while he was doing these things, or ask him to stop?

  • He had sex with you without consent. That sounds like rape. Hopefully you got ur money. I would call the cops and of course dump and block him.

  • Raped

  • You were raped.

  • This is a rape...

    I am sorry that you people have to deal with such men.

  • That was 1000000% rape. Call the cops!

  • Touching ON you? You mean, like he's pressing buttons or something?
    Kissing ON you? You mean like, he's kissing you all over your body?

    That's NOT seducing!! That's a lot closer to rape BUT, as you didn't bother to fight back or get away from him, that takes it out of the rape ballpark. It's more like sexual abuse.

    • The lack of consent isn't consent. She never said she wanted she never responded to his moves. She froze like a deer in headlights but did the deer wanted ran over.

    • @Averageguy69420 So? That same lack of consent SHOULD be backed up with firmly saying, "NO!!", hitting, biting, kicking, scratching, screaming and running!! NONE of which happened! I never saw anything about her freezing or not responding, only that he took command, posed her the way he wanted her and then fucked her!! She did NOTHING to stop him!! He pulled down her pants!! PERFECT opportunity for her to either knee him in the chin and/or bash the back of his head in with whatever was handy!!

  • If you didn’t consent to have sex with him and he went ahead and did what he did it was rape.

  • He sounds like an ass and you did not agree to the sex.

  • You consented to sex, he didn't rape you.

  • did he fucked you?

  • Omg, that is rape, you are poorly educated. Report him, leave him quick.

  • It was rape

    • Leave him

  • This rape wearing a seduction mask!

  • I mean in western standards its rape. And what he did was wrong so get a rape kit now if thats your choice.

    But my ex physically forced himself on me even tho I screamed and kicked him yelling no and he continued and prenetated me... but I would not say I have been raped. Cause we were dating. But it depends how you view it. I hope you heal! And please get a rape kit asap.