Sexual Relationships
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Was I raped the other night?

So the other day I was downtown drinking, I blacked out and woke up in bed naked with a guy. I’ve never met him before but he’s a friend of one of my friends. I don’t remember anything after 10pm but apparently we took a bus home, and we were making out on the couch. I wasn’t sure if we had sex or not but my friend said she could hear us having sex. She asked him the next day (not telling him i didn’t remember, just acting like she wanted to know) and he said we had sex multiple times, both with and without a condom because i said we didn’t need to use one. I remember literally none of it. I’m trying to act like i’m not bothered by it since i’m sure he was also drunk, but I don’t really know how to feel about it. thoughts?
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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • There's no way for anyone here to know. It's possible that you drank too much and went into blackout (being unable to remember your actions), and it's also possible that you were drugged and taken advantage of, but without other witnesses who might have seen important details, there's really no way to know. in my opinion, if your friend heard you having sex, then likely you weren't drugged, as typically girls who are drugged aren't making sex noises (moaning and so forth), so being very drunk seems more likely based on the few facts at hand.

    People who are really drunk can sometimes SEEM to be fully aware of their actions - I know a drunk girl who cut 6 inches off her own hair and woke up horrified by it, and accused other people of doing that to her because she'd "never have done that", but at least 3 of her friends watched her do it, with one of them trying to talk her out of it. And I had a roommate once who decided he was going to cook a big meal in the middle of the night, took out a bunch of food and made a big mess in the kitchen in the process, but somewhere in the middle he sat down on the couch and passed out. He had no memory of doing any of that (or much else of anything that night), and ruined a bunch of food.

    How many drunk people have woken up with unfortunate tattoos or piercings or other things that they'd never have done sober? LOTS.

    As I said, there's no way to know 100% sure what happened, but I'd estimate that the chances are about 80% that you were a willing participant, in your very drunken state, and that you were just too drunk to remember. Remember that the first thing you lose when you get drunk is your judgement - things that you would normally never do can seem like a great idea when you are blitzed. This is why going out drinking without a sober person to look out for you (who can actually be trusted to both remain sober AND look out for you) is a really bad idea. You get around a group of people "having fun" and someone buys you a shot or two, and that's where things go dark. It doesn't take much, especially if you are a woman, and even more if you're relatively small in build.

    I don't say any of this to judge you or beat you up - I just want you to realize the chances you may be taking when you do this. The consequences can be serious, and that can be true even when no laws are broken. The only person who is always going to be with you to protect you is YOU, so you need to start making better decisions if you want to avoid such bad situations.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If he raped you, than he would probably deny having sex with you. You may have blacked out and he might have kept on going, thinking you were lost in the moment, but it doesn't sound like rape too me. If it wasn't consensual, than his judgment may have been as distorted as yours was.

    • yeah i agree. the only reason i was panicking is because i’ve been drunk loads of times and i’ve NEVER had no memory before

    • Thanks for MHG

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't think having sex multiple times, and telling the guy to do it without condom too, can qualify as rape.
    For which is more, a guy woke up IN YOUR bed. If I was the guy, and wake up in someone else's bed, with no memory of how I got there, I would freak out.

    • Technically now by law if a women is drunk and a dude sleeps with her she was raped. It's stupid but eh. Though if he was also drunk she raped him... I. no one will care about that

    • @Koneko911 She took a guy home and told him not to use condom. That's not what rape is.

    • @Koneko911 Forget the dilemma. She should run some pregnancy tests soon.

    • Show All

  • By law technically. By what I believe no. You went and got blackout drunk and went home and slept with someone. That's on you one hundred percent

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 16

  • Ideally, you should have gone for a toxicology and rape assessment. The situation sounds like a GHB rape.

    • In her own home? After she invited him there and probably impregnated herself?

    • @AvaOneLasTime girl I don't know what your issue is but once again it wasn’t my home.. and i have an IUD i’m not pregnant but thanks for the concern

  • What are you talkin about you need to confront him you were that drunk you might have been giving something in your drink I've never seen a girl get that drunk she doesn't remember anything and I've never ever met a girl that doesn't remember having sex not unless they were given something I would confront him that's bulshit what do you do when you end up pregnant

  • Thoughts? Stop drinking that much. Why would you do that?

    • i didn’t drink that much lol i had maybe 6 drinks.

    • ? SIX? WHAT?

    • @AvaOneLasTime i had a few shots and a few drinks that was it. i usually drink a lot more but i hadn’t eaten much so I don't know

    • Show All

  • If he was drunk too, it might not legally be considered rape because that technically means he couldn’t consent either
    but it’s okay to feel uncomfortable about what happened. You can even try talking to him about it and ask if he was aware about how drunk you were.

    • i’m worried to ask him cause personally if i had sex with someone and they didn’t remember having sex with me and i remembered all of it i would feel so terrible lmao

  • This is why I don't sleep with WESTERN females unless they're sober.
    They can always change their mind and say they were raped.
    This type of shiit doesn't happen in other countries.
    Just chalk it up to a fun time, don't ruin his life.

    • i never said i was going to go to anyone with this

  • It's a scary incident but if you're not pregnant then I think no lasting harm was done?

  • That's a tough one. If you were both drunk, are you not sure if that would be considered rape or not. Probably, but I say that just because if he remembers it it sounds like maybe he was a little bit less drunk.

    (waiting for the bombs to start dropping)

  • I seems unlikely your friend would "hear" you having sex if you were out cold. If you were out cold you would be silent and what guy makes a bunch of noise fucking what is basically a blow up doll at that point. Sounds like the two of you had drunk sex. He may have been more drunk than you. Maybe your guilty of rape?

    • i’m trying to figure out how you’ve come to this conclusion lmaooo

    • please by all means tell me how he remembers everything from that night and i remember none of it yet you think i raped him. if anything, we were both too drunk but in no world was he drunker if he’s the one that got us home and told my friend everything that happened when i couldn’t

    • my point is, if alcohol is involved with both of you, society shouldn't automatically begin at the premise that the man was the aggressor

    • Show All

  • You were not raped in this case. It was consentual. You may regret being irresponsible while BOTH of you were drunk. However that is just drunk sloppy sex as you described it. It's your fault for getting drunk and saying yes. Even if you don't remember it.

  • Nope. and this is why you don't get drunk in bars or cars. If I am on the jury , I find the man innocent of rape. Women need to be responsible for their lives and actions. You can't make a guy responsible for your mistakes.

  • That’s rape. You were intoxicated and, if he did something, you couldn’t consent

  • i doubt it y'all we're both drunk and ya need to be much more responsible and safer with your sex

    • how can i be more responsible with sex if i don’t remember even having sex

    • simple don't drink prior to it ever here's some youtube channel's for your health and self-protection to prevent rapin passion 4 profession tara stiles pop sugar fitness yoga with adriene tone it up body rock xhit daily fitness blender be fit sarah fit bikini model fitness crossfit zuzka light rebekah borucki-bex life jessica smith tv blogilates sciencebasedsixpack. com thomas delauer the health site. com beauty iq vicky justiz get fit by ivana massy arias daisy keech kenicherie janaye penn tiffanie ray annabelle hayes renee mowatt abigail ekweghi mandy rose jane kate fitness the bk booty fitness roberta's gym hana milly bright side sonja lauren womens workout channel every day bright nicolettaxo ways and how cindy flores lumowell maryam hampton glamrs rebecca-louise the ummah fight camp brick city combatives 52 blocks info precision striking shark karate catch wrestling alliance fight tips uscca

    • lmao what

  • Get your blood tested. If there's some drug, then you were drugged and you should go to police. If not, then forget it. It just happened because you both were drunk.

    • how long would it stay in my system for?

    • Don't know. Depends on the drug I think. You should still do it just to be safe.

    • 12 to 72 hrs depending on what you were given.

    • Show All

  • Unless you said "NO" you were not raped. But he did take advantage of the situation (assuming he was sober). If " your friend" was listening ask her if she heard you say "no" or resisted at all. Be very sure! This is the guys life and it is serious accusation if you were.
    Regardless hopefully you'll monitor your alcohol consumption in the future for now on. And mind your drink as there are people who aren't above tampering with it.

    • i’m not interested in pressing charges or accusing anyone of anything. i just wanted to know.

  • I suggest contacting your local police to find out if you and your female friend have sufficient information for them to open an investigation.

  • First thing is you probably were raped because you couldn't consent, but also you are responsible for your body and shouldn't get yourself so intoxicated that you don't have any control over your body or your actions.

    • i mean fair but i didn’t drink any more than usual so it’s not like i purposely blacked out.

    • I'm not blaming you or saying you asked for it, you did not, so you should probably follow up on it, but in the future, don't ever put yourself in a position where you have no control over your body. Other bad people will take advantage.

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