Was I Sexually Assaulted?

[Anonymous]

I hate posting this here, but I don’t know where to go to ask. I’m trying to find out if I’m valid in believing this was sexual assault. I don’t want to go to any law enforcement, and I especially don’t want to talk with my family.

Last year I was 17 and I was in high school dating a boy who was 18. We went to a friend’s party, where I ended up drinking, he didn’t. I wasn’t sober enough to drive home, so he had to. I don’t remember the drive home. But I do remember we stopped somewhere in between my friend’s home and mine in an empty parking lot. I don’t remember anything else, like how it happened, but I remember he was forcing my head down on him orally. I remember feeling sobered up right then, and I bit him to make him stop. This sort of scenario happened again where I drank at a friend’s, he didn’t, and he ended up having sex with me. He just had sex with me and went to sleep, like I was just something for him to use. I forgot that both of these happened (probably the alcohol) until he brought it up, and then I remembered the first time he did that too. It makes me feel really sick and uncomfortable
to think about.

Is this normal? I don’t know what this is. But this guy was sober when this all happened. I know it’s my fault because I was the one who drank, but how can you take advantage of a drunk person who doesn’t know what they’re doing? I keep thinking, what if I wanted it and I just don’t remember? This makes me feel dirty and horrible.

[The_Maphio]

What you're stating is rather bad stuff.
If what you said actually happened, that's sexual assault indeed, unless you told him it was ok while drunk. Which would make him an asshole the first time, but make YOU a dumbass the second.
If you know this dude is hanging around you everytime you go to a party, enjoy your drinks responsibly, and observe his actions.

If this happens again, you're basically asking for it.

[dudbud]

but this isn't her fault she just wanna be drunk

[snackthatsmilesback]

Yeah if you couldn't even remember it you couldn't have been thinking enough to give consent at the time, so that's assault. Getting in that situation was your fault but everyone makes mistakes and based on your age I doubt you knew how much you could handle. Second time that was kinda dumb. But both times he was the one who deliberately assaulted you, so both times what happened to you was his fault. You just accidentally gave him an opportunity to be a dick.

[dudbud]

but this isn't her fault she just wanna be drunk

[snackthatsmilesback]

@dudbud yeah the fact she got drunk around someone who was willing to take advantage was her fault. But the fact that he took advantage was totally his fault.

[dudbud]

yeah this is his fault but the girl just wanna be drunk she was doesn't wanna that

[snackthatsmilesback]

@dudbud yeah obviously getting drunk isn't saying she wants to fuck.

[dudbud]

yeah I wanna say that and I wanna say this isn't her fault she doesn't wanna accidentally gave him an opportunity to be a dick so she innocent

[snackthatsmilesback]

@dudbud just because she didn't wanna give him an opportunity to be a dick doesn't mean she didn't give him an opportunity. And giving him an opportunity isn't the same as giving him an invitation; no matter if he could've, he shouldnta

[dudbud]

oh ok ı get it now but hey maybe she will dont do it again and We shouldn't blame her even if it allows to her

[doopayo]

That’s rape, I’m so sorry that happened to you. He took advantage of you and I suggest you distance yourself from him. He’s a monster

[Agape93]

Yes those are sexual assaults.


It isn’t your fault hon. I’m here if you need to talk

[0112358]

First one yes. Second who knows. If it's the same guy more likely yes than no.

[BallSlapLover]

Not your fault.
Yes it was non consensual, hence yes it was an assault

[Lottifan]

It seems unfortunately that he took advantage of you. Don’t blame yourself. It was not your fault.

[s2firestar]

This sounds like sexual assault to me.

[JustACuriousLady]

Yes you were. Seek help please. :(

[Anonymous]

Step one, don't get black out drunk, then you'll be able to remember what happened properly.

Take some personal responsibility for the situations you place yourself in.

[Anonymous]

it is sexual assault but it's not your fault because you basically were not yourself
we all did things that we're not sure why we did it, that's a fact and you can't run from your past, the best way is to don't look at them and cut everything that reminds you of it
just look forward and think about what you're gonna do now