Was it really r*pe if it wasn't really violent?

3 or 4 years ago when i was 18 i was in magaluf and went back to this guys house where i knew we would have sex and wanted to do that. once there we drank lots more with some of his friends who were there (4 other guys). i had already taken ketamine and was pretty drunk. one of the friends picked me up like bear hugged me and took me next door and turned the lights off - him and the 4 others all has sex with me but i dont know how to feel about it. i did pass out briefly during it. i know i was drunk and shoudnt have gone home with a stranger, they didn't hit me or punch me but were touching/holding my body. i didn't scream or even say no probably as i was shocked and kept having d*cks put in my mouth. so from their point if view i never said no so I don't know how im meant to react?
Updates:
+1 y
forgot to add as its causing confusion i remember saying i want to stop but they said that i was doing so well and laughed and carried on
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Ketamine is Veterinary Primate/Feline neural blocker... the 'animal' (humans are primates) remains conscious but unable to physically resist or even speak pending the dosage.

    It often employed in night club abductions as in powdered form it often is mistaken for cocaine.
    In the 1980's criminal human traffickers used it to abduct college co-eds before 'pipelining' them up to Montreal and then flown south out-of-country for 'resale' as dramatized in Liam Neisen's 'Taken' to Asian & Arab oligarchs. (I used to be a Criminal Profiler)

    As to HOW you SHOULD react...
    1.) Be glad you're not pregnant and/or sexually-diseased;
    2.) Drop the 'party girl' shit. You were USED as an experience not valued as a person;
    3.) Resolve to put this in your past as a near death 'learning experience' never to be repeated;
    try to 'smarten up' your girlfriends. As a Criminal Profiler, few extradited victims ever
    are reunited with loved ones and most die as 'sex toys' ... young, after unimaginable abuse.

    Think Jerry Epstein, Bill Cosby and Harvy Weinstein~
    You were at an age where 'what' you are, was of FAR greater exploitation value than 'WHO" you are.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you agreed to sex, went to the dude’s house expecting sex, got super fucked up on drugs you chose to take and then fucked em…well it wouldn’t be rape except if you said to stop and they didn’t. Sounds like you told em to stop and they kept going so that would make it rape, but it’s a thin line. You don’t sound like you’re making good decisions. And did you agree to have sex with him and his friends or just him? I mean fuck this is what happens at these greasy parties, and stop with the ketamine every chick I know that does that is a whore

    • i was just with one guy for a while before the friends appeared from the other room

    • Sounds like an ambush 0.0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Sounds consensual, also if you feel a certain way about this afterward, do not mix drugs and alcohol and sex, also do not go to drug parties where there's nothing but men around and your the only girl there and never get into a car full of drunk horny guys or a room with them. Also, just in case any of these dudes decide to tell other guys about this be prepared to have to fight off other guys who think that you do this kind of thing regularly (because some guys are assholes and talk a lot shit after they sleep with a girl) it's rape if you fight, say no and try to get away and they force you to have sex anyway.

  • The moment that you didn't wanted to and the other person/person's didn't stop is rape to me.
    Also them still fucking you, even tho you passed out, is definitely awful and they used you. I'm sorry that happened to you

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You were in no state to consent hence it's rape. The problem is it could be argued you gave consent through your previous actions.

    • At the time if thr sex she couldn't consent, but knowingly going to a place where she knew she'd have sex is consent. Just like you don't have to say anything to withdraw consent, but you need to give some indication once prior consent was given. I don't ask my girlfriend every single time we have sex.

  • Yes, without your consent and being passed out, that was rape. I would report them all.

  • they did things to you without express consent. thats still rape.

    • then essentially 100% of the adults on the planet would be in prison

  • Yes because even if you didn’t say no verbally, the law is that if a person isn’t able to consent, then having sex with that person is rape. You couldn’t consent because you were under the influence and were barely even conscious.

    • She gave prior consent by knowingly going to a place where she knew she'd have sex.

    • She wrote that she expected sex to happen with the one guy, but not with the extra 4 of his friends.

    • It still doesn't mean she was raped because she never tried to stop it. Although according to her update if she actually said she wanted to stop, all sex after that was rape, but none before.

  • No its not it depends look at it like this I would like to say yes it is because they took advantage of you they got you drunk you allowed that to happen it was all premeditated and I think that's just totally fucking wrong to do to somebody now if you didn't say no because of how drunk you were or you didn't say no because you actually like that there's a couple different ways to look at it yeah I do a lot of role play on here and there are girls that want this could really happen in life and that's their choice they understand certain things if you want to experience certain things to and that's their choice I know a girl right now that wants to come visit and wants me to get for Five Guys and have a party with just her my friends but she is conscious she's not drunk pre-planned that way it's safe and everybody knows what's going on including her now let me ask you if you had a chance to do it all over again would you do it

  • Were they all drunk too?

    I think it's quite unreasonable for someone not to finish what they started.

    I don't consider it rape if you expected sex going there... and they didn't receive/hear no from you.

    A woman having sex and she mumbles softly and incoherently "I want to stop".. but she does not move away or say it loud and clear..

  • When a person isn’t sober you can’t consent. Same as if it happened to a man.

  • This is still rape, rape isn’t usually violent! It can be violent and it also can not be. I’m sorry you went through this

  • Rape is sex/sexual acts without consent. If one of the participents is unconscious or too drunk/intoxicated and can't give consent thats still rape.

    In fact, only a small percentage of rape cases involve violence and brutal force.

    • She knew going there would lead to sex, and incecthere never changed her mind in a way that anyone would know.

  • YES!!! It is still rape I am so sorry I hope he rots in prison. Yes RAPE IS RAPE IS RAPE!

    You were raped they had sex with you without your consent and you need to file a report ASAP before it is too late... If not for your own sake for someone else's because they will do this to someone else

    • She went there knowing that sex was going to happen. She had full faculty of mind to decide whether or not to go there, she chose to go where she knew she'd have sex. She never indicated that she changed her mind.

    • @Twalli maybe she isn't perfectly innocent on the righteous end of the scale. But she was drunk they took advantage of her. If it was a woman doing this to a man I would say the same thing so don't even go there with me buddy boy. I know what you are doing

    • If you go somewhere knowing sex will happen, then you can't be raped when sex starts happening. Her update means at least someone there raped her though.

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  • Violence has nothing to do with rape, its about consent. If you didn't consent then it's rape. Objecting after the fact because you think you made a mistake after consenting for it all to happen isn't and not withdrawing consent isn't rape. If you passed out during then they should have stopped, and that's a fairly grey area of the law, but could be considered rape, depending. on Spanish law as that is where the potential rape was committed.

  • "i never said no" That's not how consent works. You never said yes, therefore it was rape. Period.

  • Yes. Violence is common but not necessary. If it was unwanted, then it was rape. Also, it doesn't matter if you said no or not, because often people will try to keep their victim silent. What's important is you did not consent. You did not expressly say you wanted to have sexual contact with those people. It was rape. And I'm really sorry it happened to you.

    Seeing a psychologist may help you figure out your response to everything that happened.

  • Yes, that's rape. You were incapable of giving consent.

  • That’s rape

  • If you didn't allow it, it's considered rape, sex without consent is rape and not giving an answer isn't yes but if you wanted it then I guess you don't gotta consider it rape if you don't want too, I don't know what else to tell you

    • Then yes

  • If you didn't want the sex, it was rape.

  • Yes it is.

  • you didn't exactly consent it tho

    • She did, she knew what would happen, sex, and she went there knowing it would happen.

    • @Twalli the consent wasn't verbal and clear

    • It was clear to her and people still believe that you have to withdraw consent for it to be eaoe. Until we stop saying "no means no" and start saying "yes means yes", not withdrawing consent means it isn't rape. If she was unaware of sex happening, then had it due to her intoxication I would probably say rape.

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  • You may have wanted to with the 1st guy, but how bout the other 4? :/

    Sounds like rape to me mate. And not just regular rape, a gangrape.

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