To answer your question, no it was not selfish. It is a good thing that you initiated sex for a couple of reasons. Apologies in advance for the long essay.
Obviously, I don’t know how often you do this. Plenty of my male friends complain about women not initiating sex and always expecting the guy to initiate. So if that’s been his experience before, you showing interest by initiating sex can be a refreshing change.
It’s also positive because you mention that he noticed you were put off by the lack of attention, being bored. He may be playing games all day but clearly cares enough to notice the change in your demeanor. You also don’t mention him being reluctant when you asked him for sex. Despite not being in the mood he still offered to help you out.
It’s ok to explicitly ask for your wants and needs to be met. The honestly and open communication will save you from small conflicts that can fester and turn into bigger issues later on.
If you’re still worried about seeming selfish for asking for sex while he’s gaming, I would suggest learning a little bit about his gaming habits. For example, if he is playing online competitively in say a fighting game or a shooter that he’s playing with a team, he’s legitimately busy and that may not be the best time to engage if your goal is to not come across as selfish or disruptive. If he’s in a practice room or playing a single player game solo then he can pretty much pause whenever. So you can tease and do whatever and he can pretty much toss his controller and ravage you haha.
I am a dedicated gamer and often play coop games with partners. I like to make playful bets regarding game objectives. It satisfies my competitive streak when I get better kill to death ratios in a game and it keeps things interesting. You can try something similar even if you’re not a gamer or are more casual. Like maybe a racing game; loser gives the winner head. It can show that you take an interest in his interests and may make you not feel selfish since he would be spending some of his gaming time gaming with you.
If he is playing something that can easily be paused (and he’s not in a game party chat or can mute himself), you can slowly strip in front of him, touch him over or under clothes, touch yourself while wrapping your arm or leg around his so he can still use his controller, whisper in his ear asking questions about the game. You can get really creative. Some of this you can still do while partially clothed like still in your undies. That way he has to do a little work to get a better view lol. Not to mention the skin to skin contact of your arms and legs can build tension. I’ve gotten myself into some unorthodox positions so my partner can still see the screen and hold a controller while I put on a show on top of him.
Have some fun, get creative, and don’t think you’re being selfish. He will appreciate the effort if he cares for you. And if his body language tells you that he consistently chooses to focus on a game (especially one he can pause and isn’t a player vs player match) over you, dump the guy and get yourself one who will appreciate your effort.1 0 0 0I love video game and it’s league. I liked being that girl that would give him a beer or something to eat while he plays. He does this thing where he turns around and just stares at me for a little bit though he didn’t do it the day he thought I looked put out so I might’ve subconsciously liked that tiny bit of attention. Communication with him is a whole other learning experience since he says whatever is on his mind and I’m a people pleaser. So it has gotten to a point where he knows when I’m lying and I know what he’s thinking about. (It’s actually really creepy how I’ll voice what’s going on in his brain) sad thing is we aren’t able to date but we are really good friends
If he’s stopping to just look at you for no other reason to just look at you, sounds like there’s an emotional component to your dynamic. If he didn’t, he likely wouldn’t break his concentration in League. He likely wouldn’t address you looking put out even if he picked up on your mood. He likely would not care enough to. But only he can confirm if that’s correct. Maybe your concerns about seeming selfish come from your people pleasing trait? Like you don’t want to do anything that would compromise that (his happiness), but you also felt put out because you wanted attention (your happiness). Maybe try to strike a balance between pleasing him and yourself? You want attention sometimes and nothing you’ve mentioned so far leads me to think he’s not willing to give you what you want. So there’s no need to be bashful about asking for what you want.
Just prance around in some sexy lingerie like your picking up the house, bend over a few times and give it a wiggle. He Will probably loose interest in the video games and want to give you his joystick 😃
0 3 0 0Good advice here
Would be if he didn’t have roommates
Do it and see what happens. You might like it 😃
Most Helpful Guys
A lot of men can be selfish with our recreational interests. One game we love to play is based on my vulnerability to trashy little nothings and stiletto pumps. She'll get all tarted up and start doing things to distract me. Now we're kinky and this is where the game gets interesting. If she annoys me enough, I'll yank her over my knee roughly and give her a hot, hard, forceful bare bottom spanking. That turns me on so much that we end up having almost angry sex, some of the best sex there is.
Might that work for you?0 0 0 0No, it wasn't selfish.
I'm glad you had the courage to express your needs to him, and I'm glad that he listened!0 0 0 0Thanks for the MHO. :)
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What Girls & Guys Said
0 14It's normal and the word is "initiating" sex.
And leisure time is when we ask or initiate sex.
Sometimes, initiating sex need not him stopping immediately.
With a bit of creativity, if you see him very engrossed,
1) unzip and give him fellatio while he continues to play.
2) turn him over in doggy style, then insert a butt plug into him, while he tries to focus... (this is very naughty).
3) undress in front of his view. If he has a big screen and is a few feet away, undress piece by piece by the screen.
Got the idea? Yes, make him lose, then get into the bedroom proper.
Have fun and please stop feeling guilty already.1 0 0 0Most guys dream of that shit to happen
1 0 0 0Okay I overthink at times yesterday he spent more time with me but I didn’t want to interrupt him playing since he spent most of the day playing games
You would have a real problem if he always chose video games over you. I don't think you have to worry about anything
Ya it was only that one day, I just get worried because he isn’t the affectionate type he just wants me over all the time and doesn’t need to do much. In my mind though I get worried that he would be more active if he was interested. but he keeps arguing that he has a great time
Being selfish is not caring about other people's needs or desires.
To not be selfish doesn't mean you're not allowed to have needs or desires yourself.1 0 0 0Dude it would be so hot for a girl to jack me off or give me a blowjob while I am playing video games.
1 0 0 0Its okay to ask for sex from your boyfriend, thats what he’s there for (among other things (I don’t want to offend anyone I’m just joking obviously)). If he was playing video games all yesterday then it makes all the more sense. Its common for couples to have sex when not in the mood for the other person, don’t know what the lol is for? Anyway glad he’s in the mood now
0 0 0 0Lol usually shows light hearted talking or laugh. Laugh out loud. Unless you’re a grammar nazi lol but thank you for your reply
No. You can ask for sex any time you want to. He can also deny it any time he wants to.
0 0 0 0Nah you were just asking for your needs to be met. Nothing wrong with that
1 0 0 0If you were my girlfriend, I would not be playing games.
0 0 0 0Yes.
0 0 0 0guys are not used to being asked... so its awkward, just keep asking, he will learn to "jump on it"
0 0 0 0No, it's not selfish, but it is bad timing since games nowadays don't have a pause option. You can either join in the game and make it a couples thing, or if he is cool with it have you masturbate next to him... good tip, sexual juices puts off hormones that make us horny
0 0 0 0Eh I told him to take his time he came over when he was able
If my girlfriend wanted some while I was playing video games I’d stop immediately to give her what she wants
0 0 0 0Which he did lol just didn’t know if it was bad that I was infringing on his time
Hell no you didn’t
I think I also overheard him calling me his girlfriend. I’m really not sure about it but when I heard it I had a bit of a heart attack. Can’t ask him because he has the memory like a fish and I could’ve completely misheard but this man makes me overthink like it’s my job lol
He said he wasn't in the mood sooooooo?
0 0 0 0You didn’t read it correctly sooooo lol
Lol the guy is living his dream
1 1 0 0
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