We did it too soon - any advice?

[Anonymous]

Hi :)

So I’ve been talking to this guy (online) and everything has been going great. He was very interested in me and we got into a relationship before we even met face-to-face. When we did though, everything still went smooth, up until we made the grave mistake of having intercourse.

Everything felt awkward afterwards and he actually told me he felt “disgusted” and had “post-nut clarity”. I felt awkward, sure, but not to that extent. I offered to go home early and he refused. We ended up cuddling and things seemed fine but then HE wanted to have sex AGAIN. I allowed it, then afterwards it was time for me to take the train home. We texted a little bit afterwards, and the next day he left me on read. We proceeded not to walk for 2 whole days until I couldn’t take it anymore.

I texted him and he explained that it didn’t feel right for him, we went too quick and he doesn’t know how he feels. I asked him if he wanted to stop “this” and he said “that might be what’s best for us atm”. I’ve tried to get him out of my head, I’ve tried to move on but I go to sleep thinking about him and I wake up thinking about him. It puts a dampen on my entire day because I miss what we had and I know he doesn’t. Could there be any way I could get him back? Or any way to get over these feelings? Thanks in advance :(

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Honestly, there’s no reverse button for these types of things, and having self control is the only way to prevent it from happening too soon.
It would be difficult to get him be an because you two started off great but had a lack of self control to realize it was too soon (and that’s okay, it happens to a lot of people!). I think all you can do is give him time and maybe he will come around again, but once that happens and “too soon” is in question, it can make it difficult to “repair” the relationship.
I know it’s difficult to get over these feelings, I know, but you will have to just focus on your life and do things that keep you busy and distracted. Listen to music, go on walks, do art — do things you enjoy but keep your mind occupied on something else.

[Asker]

Thank you :,)

[Bestanswers]

Honestly i dont even feel sorry for you. You met up with a fuckboi. Fuckbois know exactly what to say to get women. For him your just another number, matter of fact he probably has sex with so many women, if i was you id get tested for an STI cause if he had aids your fucked. But why would you not be able to get over someone who manipulated you for sex. You guys never had anything special. Next time dont let a dude hit on the first date. Know your worth, if they want to get all up in your guts make them earn it.

[DonkeyDan]

Not really, if he's lost feelings for you it's not something that can be got back that easily. I'd suggest you moce on and try and forget him, it will happen over time. Of course it's possible that he just got what he wanted and was actually using you all along.

[summiter]

Just tell him that it would be good to do a "reset" and start off with just dating and hold off on the sex for a bit. How was the sex with him? Just start over and go slower.

[bowenw]

I'm wondering if he played you all along just for sex and is using the excuse of feeling disgusted to move on.

[TheSpaceGnome]

This is why you wait until you're sure.

[Asker]

I thought I was sure - I thought wrong.

[TheSpaceGnome]

how long did you know him before humping him?

[Asker]

About a month? We moved very quickly overall

[TheSpaceGnome]

its impossible to know if a person is right for you in a time span of less than 3 years.

[Asker]

Good to know, thanks

[Iron_Man]

If you can’t get him out of your head go to a counselor

[Shamalien]

Next time keep your legs shut. Girls are always doing this. Men should have to work for sex

[Anonymous]

It’s crazy how women always do this to themselves.