What are your thoughts on friends with benefits?

Share your experience below if you'd like.
When do you think it would and would not be appropriate to think about having a friends with benefits relationship?
Been there done that, would recommend
Vote A
Been there done that, absolute train wreck
Vote B
I would never... Unless...
Vote C
Ew hard no
Vote D
Open to it, if only I had friends :(
Vote E
I'm open to it
Vote F
Would depend on the person and circumstances
Vote G
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 2

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • My answer would be between A and B... likely would answer B if I was asked when it ended because while it wasn't a full on "train wreck" it wasn't good. But that was a long time ago and I look back on it with positive memories and if I went back in time to right before it started, I'd do it again because it was awesome for awhile.

    While I have seen others say differently online - what I have seen in the real world (and experienced) is once you get into a friends with benefits it will change the dynamic of the friendship forever - including how it might end the friendship. It might lead to a relationship - which by the way, I've never seen work out well. I remember one friend of mine started hooking up with this girl - he was thinking "friends with benefits" - she went along with that but was hoping it would lead to boyfriend/girlfriend... didn't work out - and they were no longer friends.

    Know it might end the friendship - and it could be ugly - so if it is a close friend who you really enjoy, you might want to think twice. If it is not a close friend and if you lose the friendship it wouldn't be a big deal, then could be all good.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Been there done that, would recommend.
    But only if you have the right mindset about it and sex in general, of course.

    If you are settling for fwbs because you like them or you are hoping for it to develop into more, then I can't recommend that, that's obviously a terrible idea.
    I also can't recommend it if you are inexperienced and you are thinking of maybe gaining that experience with a friend or thinking "maybe it will be fun", if you don't yet know what sex does to you emotionally, then fwbs may also be a bad idea.

    Friends with benefits can be appropriate in the right circumstances, but those will vary for everyone, I guess the main rule should be that you aren't lying to them AND yourself about why you want to do it.

    If I was to give you a recommendation, I would actually go against the common suggestion-
    You should make sure to separate the "friends" and "benefits" aspects of your arrangement, if you think how you are good friends with good chemistry or whatever, and that you would be comfortable being physical, I think you are already going down the slippery slope.

    The fwbs that worked for me were very physical, they often involved kinks and there was a clear distinction of where friends end and benefits begin.
    If you start cuddling them afterwards, spending more time with them, or even worse, start having any sort of expectations because you two have gone physical, then it's already doomed.

    You are platonic friends, and you should remain platonic afterwards.
    The benefits should stay behind closed doors and never leak into your daily life.

    • Interesting take, thanks for the insight. So, ending a relationship before anyone can break anyone's heart too much because you realize you are emotionally unavailable, and then going into friends with benefits, hoping to just stall any emotional attachment and expectations until they are ready to make the next step would be recommended against? Assuming both weren't very emotionally involved initially for various reasons?

    • Ready to make the next step, in terms of what, your mutual connection? No, I definitely wouldn't recommend that. You should never be hoping for something more from friends with benefits relations, if you are hoping for progression you could easily end up in a situation in which one party starts feeling comfortable with the idea of getting more serious only to find out the other party has grown comfortable with the casual encounters and is even less interested in something serious now than they were before. And it culminates with the first party feeling used and potentially blaming the second party only to upset them since, in their mind, the first party has not honored the agreement of it remaining casual. That's kind of the prime risk of fwbs. I've had fwbs with exes that didn't crash and burn, but those were specific scenarios that did not involve any hope of future development on either side.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 19
  • Well, while I personally prefer the idea of pursuing a relationship that is permanent and does not revolve only on sexual affiliations, I do not consider those who do choose that lifestyle to be wrong, as long as both individuals are always on the same page and not being taken advantage of emotionally, physically and financially.

    In other words, as long as it is not hurting anyone then I am cool with them doing it, I do however feel kind of flustered when someone I know tells me and shows me their friend with benefits, since I know what they mean by it I can't help but get a bit stuttering sometimes because while I accept the choice I still get awkward if it gets thrown on me out of nowhere, after a while knowing about it I sometimes can get used to it. :)

  • Yeah I have and do.
    it works

  • It is fun and the sex/orgasms are great. Just talk about expectations ahead of time.

  • The very strange conception that sex would ruin a friendship is as stupid as it can get.
    Nothing gets you closer to another than plunging deep into them and enjoying the experience together.

    Curiously enough, if the characters are compatible, from "friends with benefits", thing can very well evolve in something more durable.
    Otherwise, friends like before, minus the screwing. Where is the problem in having had fun with somebody you drink a coke with?

  • For me, I'd prefer to be close with the person I'm intimate with rather than sleep with a friend. I'd be more inclined to be close with them rather than maintain a friendship

  • B - but I think it can work if there's actual friendship there, with basic respect and good communication. But almost always none of this is there at all.

  • I just don't see how I could do it without developing romantic feelings with the other person.

    • What if you weren't both ready for an emotional relationship, but maybe considered a possible progression?

    • @Tomblebee I've heard a lot of people say what you just said, and I still can't grasp the concept. I don't understand how someone can have an emotional blockage and yet still want to have sex with the person that they're not comfortable with emotionally. It doesn't make any sense.

  • Not for me.

    • Feels kinda hopeless aye, but what if there is hope?

    • I only date if the guy is paying me. Traditional dating is a waste of time, for example there's a 50/50 chance he's going to dress like a slob, split the check at the end of the meal, start trying to sext you when you get home or the next day, then ask you to come over to "cuddle," which really means he wants YOU to drive YOUR car to HIS place so he can fuck you. And I get no benefit out of that? Fuck that.

    • So why don't you giddy up on your horse like your profile picture and right over to his house that way you don't have to waste gas

  • It would never be appropriate.

    • What makes you say this?

    • Because it's too casual. I take sex seriously. I'm not going to do it with someone that I'm not in a relationship with.

  • Had a bit of experience with it, I do not recommend it at all.

    • What went wrong? Feel free to list, or private message if you'd prefer xx

    • It just feels awkward doing sexual stuff with someone is a friend, besides the fact feelings do grow.

  • Immoral lifestyle like homosexual lifestyle, or men cheating on their wives. One way ticket to Hell.

    • Does that come under the same umbrella as not supporting sex before marriage or?

    • All those that do are sinning yes, this why 99% of the population won't make it to heaven. Paul explained it in the bible.

    • God is exactly the same as when he created the world. Same rules.

  • I think it's a great concept to get to know different people.

  • Fine (or better) if you're both into it. If it works it can be great and if not then you can chill and not do it.

  • As long as she's my Slave. And I'm good with family with benefits.

    • "family with benefits". Lol. Thanks. I'm gonna use that one sometime.

    • Explain wtf u be suggestin wid dat

    • @Tomblebee Which one of us?

  • @tomblebee
    they are friends so thats good and you get on with them so thats good and you get benefits which is excellent and if done right there are no strings attached :D

    bring it on its great

  • it's great for a while then either you or they find someone else

  • I have a female friend I’ve known for 5 years that I want to fuck soooo badly! She’s always flirting with me and we talk about things of a sexual nature like a couple of guys do. But we are both in relationships with other people right now. And in the past, at least one of us was always involved with someone.

  • Meaningless connection to satisfy individuals who lack self control and self satisfaction, reliant on sex for some sort of unhealthy stress relief which becomes addictive and hard ti live without at some point. Though they wouldn't realize that because their brain can't process it when all it thinks about is sex.

    Not to mention how troublesome it can be, and how it has a low chance of success without either part catching feelings and causing drama and headache.

  • Been there, done that. Big mistake.

    • What went wrong about it? Feel free to private message.

  • I always figured that friends with benefits was ideal for divorced single parents that are too busy to date or really get into a relationship.
    I was saddened to see that young people who haven't even been married or had kids are getting into these dead end, friends with benefits arrangements. It really wastes a lot of time and hinders young people from getting into long relationships and building any kind of future together.

    • Oh there's one now.

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