Sexual Relationships
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What are your thoughts on relationships without sex?

We’re new in the relationship and I’m from a religious background. So I told him that I don’t want sex before marriage. He said that would require a lot of self-control on his part 🙈but he would respect that. Although he kept suggesting different other options that we could do to work around the sex-less relationship, including things like oral and stuff like that, which I said “I’m not sure” to. What are your thoughts? Could this work? We like each other a lot but I want both of us to be satisfied in this relationship. Also do you think he would look for sex somewhere else if I don’t offer that?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I feel that in this day and age that no sex before marriage is some what antiquated.
    By no means is it a bad idea.

    A relationship especially a successful one requires compromise. If you won't compromise here you need to be willing to compromise in other areas.

    You can think of sex as a form of currency between the two of you. If you refuse to give back fives as change you better make sure you give him 5 singles instead.

    • Good point. That’s why I try to make it up for him by other things, let’s say foreplay stuff , which he seams to enjoy

    • That's good. You aren't completely closed off to intimacy. The trick is going to be finding out how much he values the thing you won't give him. I'd say it's safer to go bigger than to fall short.

    • Thank you 😊 that’s really helpful

  • Oral sex IS sex silly.
    If you're doing it for religious reasons then just find someone like minded and plan it together.

    For me, it's just not a relationship. For you, you have a goal. Stick with it if that means something to you - it doesn't matter what strangers on the internet think.

    • Thank you 🥺

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 20

  • Sex is not needed for a relationship. Appreciated, but not needed. Hell, I'd take a loving relationship with no sex over none at all.

  • Personally I don’t agree with the no sex before marriage thing. I think that is a little foolhardy and strange but I respect it is an individual decision. I would definitely recommend his suggested compromises so that you can at least enjoy some sexual pleasure together.

  • Can I ask you a few things I've had this same conversation with a very very good friend of mine she's one of my best friends she was a virgin she just got married not too long ago she thought that she would never ever meet a guy that would be willing to do that which leads in to another story which I can tell you sometime but not right now LOL oh what the hell it's basically what we had talked about I'll tell you the story on the weekends before covid-19 she would come in town she lives about 40 minutes away so we would go to the clubs if she drank too much she would just spend the night at my house which was every night that we went to the club long story short went to the club the girl picked up on me wanted to take me home. I gave my keys to my friend it said I would be there in a while, 20 minutes later the girl and I walk out of the club I still see my truck sitting there she's in it I walk up after what she's doing and she's crying I tell the girl that I'm with that I'm not going to take her home tonight I want to see what's up with my friend I get in my truck we go to my house and I asked her why all the way home I was asking her what was wrong she finally broke down and told me and she was never going to be able to get a guy did she just wanted to go out and get laid right now because tired of waiting new guy wants to wait for her blah blah blah and after a few smart ass remarks for me which I had to do I told her I didn't understand what she was saying there was many things that she can do with a guy and still stay a virgin she said no there wasn't she didn't care and she asked me to make love to a right then and there I started laughing heart after I got hit a few times I stop laughing she came straight out said f****** me, I told her no she said we'll tell me what there is to can be done without having sex, started laughing again stopped again after I was hit LOL I said you really want to get f***** right now she said yes I just looked at her for a few minutes and I said okay listen I'm going to show you something I'm going to do something to you not going to have sex with you and I'm not going to finish that you but I want to show you something it is just as good or better than sex she said okay I trust you I said okay we have one rule no penetration scuse me 2 rules no penetration and we don't stop until I show you all the way she said fine I started laughing again cuz I started to make out with it and I stopped because she hit me again I started making out with her I started to touch her and she got red hot very quickly I rolled her over on top of me can I set her up on my hips her eyes were really big because she was sitting on me and she felt something LOL I stood her forward I said her back I said her forward I slit her back in a slow slow motion move before I knew it she was just red hot she started grinding and pushing and pulling with her hips anyway I think you got the image of what I'm trying to say there are so many things you can do and not have intercourse to stay a virgin the first one is have a good friend that you can trust it will take you there and when finished you close to have enjoyed it

  • Failures.
    Sex is the last part of the sacred trifecta:

    -Respect
    -Trust
    -Sex

  • The main thing is not to go what you feel is wrong, or wrong for you, to keep him. If you do what you feel is wrong to keep him, it will lessen you.

  • So far I have not had sex with any of my girlfriend's, I take sex seriously and I don't think it is a required priority for 2 people to get to know each other.

  • friendship is a relationship.

  • I just couldn't do it. Sex in a relationship is a must for me. I need the intimacy and passion, plus I need to see how compatible we are and open to things in advance. Sex is very important before and after marriage to me. But that's your call and stick to what you believe.

    • I totally see your point. It’s always been a debate for me

    • I think the sexually compatible stuff is all bogus.

  • That’s a good thing but they should be kissing and holding hands

    • We do a little more that that. There was making out and touching and lots of sexting

    • That’s called foreplay what’s the point of all that then? Feeling each other up

    • Penetrative sex is still too much to take. I still think that’s for married couple. But he doesn’t think the same way. You think what we’re doing is pointless?

    • Show All

  • Oral sex is the best alternative otherwise he may think of leaving you.

  • ideal for cucks and white knights who like to play the woman's therapist.

    • Not really sure what you’re talking about lol

    • Being a cuck or therapist boyfriend are separate issues. Sex is something a lot of people take cautiously and she is not wrong for waiting, especially considering that her guy is trying so hard to find loopholes and excuses rather than agreeing and respecting her approach. Find me someone who screws things up by waiting on sex.

  • Not having sex before you marry someone is an awful idea. If you aren't sexually compatible marriage won't last. I'm totally for dating for a long time without sex but have to sample the milk before you buy the cow.

    • Yea I would prefer to sample your milk before I buy you too but thought there are different ways to do that other that having sex right when you start a relationship

    • It’s like overusing the milk and wasting it 🤣

    • I didn't say right when you start a relationship. I specifically agreed that it is okay to wait. Also there is no other way to know.

    • Show All

  • If you don't do some other sexual things like oral or mutual masturbation he might try to look for someone to have sex with. If he really love you and maybe have good self control but it will be hard for him cause a guy does think about sex more than most women.

  • He probably will if you won't do anything sexual. Most. people don't consider oral as counting. Some people don't consider anal. as counting either, but anal is a big step. I would try oral. It feels good recieving it (according to my girlfriend) and I know guys enjoy it.

  • My thoughts on a relationship with no sex is what I would consider as a work colleague not a romantic interest.☯️

  • There none

  • What, You can have a relationship without sex? I will have to get back to you on this.

  • its as normal as the relationship with sex is as the main thing in any relationship is
    understanding
    trust
    time
    and most important love

  • I had something like that once. Used anal and oral but it was absurd-it was still sex. I ended up convincing her to allow vaginal penetration. He wants that tight hole to relieve his sexual tension. It will also feel great for both of you. I'm sure you've masturbated-him in you 10x better

    • What is your sexual experience?

  • I suggest determining what your religion allows if you want to remain true to it. Oral sex or even intimate touching before marriage may not be permitted. I gather your partner is not a virgin. A marriage where both partners are virgins may not be condoned by your religion. Once you have a clear understanding of what is allowed, have a discussion with your partner so he knows what is expected. He will have to decide if he is prepared to follow the rules set forth by your church. Of course it is always best if both partners have the same beliefs.

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