What do I do if I miss someone for s*xual purposes, but not for the friendship?

[ilikesnow]

before commenting, please read the full post first. thank you!

so i met this guy online and he was really nice to me. he started becoming slightly flirty, but I didn't mind it. he then became s*xual, saying things like 'i'll always be turned on for you' and 'ly' but I kind of liked it since I had never been treated that way. one day, I got mad at him and flipped him off. he said: 'are you really that mad? i feel like I didn't do anything toxic.' I said: 'please don't be mad' because at that time i really valued our friendship, or as he called it, being friends with 'benefits'. anyway, he replied: 'after giving me the middle finger? yeah, ill think about it' he then proceeded to ignore me. i was sad so i wrote him a letter, starting with: 'first, merry Christmas!' and wrote what i actually wanted to say. 10 hours later, he replied: 'Merry Christmas' thats it. i still felt bad so i wrote ANOTHER letter. with over 2000 characters. (i deeply regret writing the second one now, and also realise i had been super clingy to him) a day later, (it felt more like a week tbh) he replied: 'i'm sorry i was in a bad condition. and sorry for ignoring you these few days.' ngl, to me that sounds more like an excuse. when i recieved this, i kept on thinking about it, because (as i said) it felt a lot longer than a day to me waiting for his reply, and i actually had lost any hope of him replying me. now that i think of it, i realise that i missed him, but i dont at the same time, because he got mad at me for 5 days for flipping him off. once. so i dont know what to do anymore. if you read this far, i will forever respect you- but please help.

[Reece12345]

Please ignore all the cruel people on this site. So many hateful, judgmental people here.

I understand how difficult this must be for you. We all have a need for kindness and love, and it sucks when you find out that that's not what a relationship was about.

But you need to understand that that's what this guy is after.

The way you know if a guy is really interested in you is if he takes the time to get to know you before rushing in. This way he will get to know the special things that make you uniquely you.

I'm not saying that we don't get turned on really fast. But you can really tell where the emphasis lies if he gets angry at you if he doesn't get what he wants. This guy is selfish and he just wants to use you, in the end.

Forget this guy and find someone else who will take the time to get to know you before rushing in. You deserve better than this.

[ilikesnow]

right how do i mark your answer as mho again

[Reece12345]

Thanks very much 😊 No worries, just glad if I can help.

[ilikesnow]

oh i need to wait for 9 more hours well ill mark yours as mho soon

[Reece12345]

You're so kind. Thank you! 😊

[ilikesnow]

done you're my mho now

[Reece12345]

Thanks so much! It's so uplifting to be appreciated. And if I've helped that's the best thing.

[SlothySlob]

I believe that your respect will be as momentary as your whole debacle. He was showering you with attention to which you liked, I presume, but did you reciprocate his attention?

You got mad at him, where in your mind might have been only a middle finger, yet it was much more than you think.

Your whole, "I miss him, but don't want him" is an excuse. You said it yourself, he treated you in a way which you liked. That is what you miss, and only he can treat you in his kind of way.

What I'd suggest is going through the conversation you had with him where you "only flipped him off".

[ilikesnow]

right okay maybe i should be nicer to people and after rereading the conversation i think i overreacted. thanks

[Guy13]

Nowhere in this Drama do I read honesty. "I miss you for sexual purposes and don't want the friendship aspect."

[ilikesnow]

maybe i just like the attention..

[Guy13]

I think that's an honest assessment. Take that into the situation and see what happens...

[Stevefiveo]

Hmm, well it sounds like you tried. But maybe keep it simple and say something like hey, I really miss the hot sex that we used to have. Can we get together for sex, there doesn't have to be any talking. And see what he says. I think most guys would go for that. Good luck.

[ilikesnow]

this was through texting.. not actual sex

[Stevefiveo]

Oh, hmm. It would be hard to not get those mixed together and I guess he can't either. I think it is time to move on and find someone else.

[ilikesnow]

alreaady done :)

[Stevefiveo]

Good luck.

[kareka]

He knows what u want and i think he is Planning fot that all

[ilikesnow]

hmm okay

[panamared1]

That happens