What do I need sex or a man for?

[Anonymous]

I’ve already did the mom thing. The dads horrible on drugs and violent to the kid so he isn’t allowed to be around them. I got a tubal ligation back in 2012 and I don’t see the need for either a man or sex. But I do enjoy speaking to one and hanging out for patio drinks or shooting in the woods. Just not emotional or physical. I’m not into women either, tried it but it didn’t stick. I don’t crave intimacy on any level and I’m very content simply working and going home, tending to my parental duties & repeat.
There’s so much pressure to be in relationships but I feel uncomfortable when it comes down to it. Don’t say I’m asexual or some other trending label.
So, why bother?

[RespectfulGuy]

Indeed many chose singleness.

And I think you had made your choice years ago.

But what puzzled me is, why are you even here?

After reading your question and details, the first thought that came to my mind is, she wants a man.

Perhaps you'll deny it. But if you really can stay single, then don't join any forum that discusses sex. Instead, just be contented with every other non sexual, non relationship contents.

Anyway the choice is yours. I'm just writing what I'm thinking while reading your words.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[RespectfulGuy]

Welcome. Hope I'm not too offensive. I just write my thoughts. Nothing negative intended.

[Anonymous]

You might think it’s okay now, but watch in 3 years, you’d wish you’d met someone earlier. Coming from a guy who’s been single by choice for 6 years now. Trust me, when you’re all by yourself in your car, you’d wish you had someone to go on dates with. Someone who would take care of you when you’re sick. Having someone to come home too.

[Asker]

I’ve been single for nearly ten years and don’t regret it. I come home to my kiddo and I have to be a mom before and after work, when I’m sick I push through it and keep going. I love my car! I paid for it, it’s nice and new. People tending to me is irritating naturally, I’ve never liked it

[Opinion Owner]

I’m successful too. I have a great career, make good money, but it doesn’t mean shit to me (house or how many cars I have) if I’m not happy. But don’t worry, you can keep lying to yourself. But you know deep down that you wish you had someone who would love you.

[Asker]

Everyone is different. Just because one person is lonely and miserable it does not mean everyone else is. Also, that I’m alone, it doesn’t mean I’m lonely. I’m tending to my wonderful child, why one earth would I want to tend to a needy lonely guy. I’m very clear with myself and I do not need to be loved by the opposite sex in order to feel good and complete. Any man in that state is more exhausting than the overage guy.

[Opinion Owner]

Relationships are not supposed to be associated with dealing with people’s problems. Relationships are supposed to enhance your life. That’s why you have to find the right match for you. And not to be harsh, but the guy you’ve chosen to have a kid with is worse than a guy like me that you’re describing. I never done drugs, let alone care for alcohol. I don’t even hurt a fly, so I have that going on for me lol. And I met a lot of women who come with problems too, but it’s all about choice. If whether you see yourself in the future being happy with them or not. And I’ve known lots of single mothers who’ve never given up on love.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not asexual, but I don’t want to have sex out of a relationship, I understand you, you had a bad experience.

I miss cuddling the most, but I feel like at some point I’ll need sex because honestly, I have hard time containing myself when I am ovulating or on my period haha, I need to chain myself to bed, not to go out and flirt too shamelessly with men.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know because I love men probably too much lol. You don’t need anyone to approve of your choice but yourself. If you are not truly content, which only you can decide do you think it’s possible that you feel this way to protect yourself from people like your ex?

[Asker]

Possibly I wonder that from time to time.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok I just hope you are happy, safe and never have to deal with anyone else like that.

[Asker]

Thank you! And that’s just it, I’m happy and content. But there’s lots of pressure in the world and during interactions to be in a relationship or intimate. It’s uncomfortable Cheer ♥️

[ImHere22]

Honestly, you really don't need a man in your life. I certaintly would not bring in unnecessary stress and anxiety if you're good on your own. There's nothing that says you must have a man in your life; that's just something people are often indoctrinated to and come to believe as fact. But it's not. If anything, if I were you, I would be focusing on what I do need, realistically and logically.

Good luck

[Berethor]

Why not to say that you become asexual? anyway the main purpose of sex is reproduction.

[Dargil]

Entertainment?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Did disinterest in sex start after your tubaligation? Or before it?

[Asker]

Irrelevant. It happened after many dates of just not feeling interested in anyone

[TheSpaceGnome]

Its not irrelevant info to me. If it was, I wouldn't have asked. If it was before, then having it is confusing, but if it was after, thats concerning in terms of maybe being a possible side effect of the surgery. I'm considering/debating getting a vasectomy if my future wife won't (or perhaps shouldn't?) get a tubaligation.

[Asker]

That would be up to the two of you for sure. TL has no hormonal changes

[TheSpaceGnome]

Ah ok, that answers my question then. As for "why bother?" Don't bother if you don't want to.

[Asker]

No worries your welcome :) I like to hang out with both guys and girls but apparently I give off a sexual vibe and then they try to hook with me and I’m like “back off man”

[TheSpaceGnome]

Lol you're a vibrator.

[abc--123]

Sounds like you just enjoy being you. Nothing wrong with that

[Asker]

Nice and simple, thank you !

[Anonymous]

Who cares. Why do you have to post this? Literally is the worst post. You are asexual because of your poor taste in men and determining a persons character. That’s your fault not anyone else’s. He was an asshole, he got what he deserved. You don’t need men, men don’t need you. Call it even and move on.

[Anonymous]

You have no desire to have sex? Well that's odd. But do what works for you.

[Anonymous]

Men are optional at best.

[Asker]

Possibly but I’m content, but your input is heard !