What does it mean if a guy can’t get hard when you’re hooking up?

We started making out and he was clearly into it; moaning and stuff and said I was an amazing kisser, but then when we went to have sex he couldn’t get hard. He was complaining and cussing and kept saying how it’s not my fault and that he’s just really nervous and he was drunk. He said it usually doesn’t happen.

I guess I’m just wondering, what is usually the reasoning behind this? Could he be lying? He’s been texting me since asking to hang out again and apologizing but I’m just wondering why this generally happens to you guys; is it really nerves? Or is it cause the girl isn’t hot enough? Alcohol/drugs? Give me your experiences guys :) thanks!

0 2

Superb Opinion

  • Guessing you will hear all kinds of "opinions' on the subject... but since women don't'have a penis, that has to get erect... to have sex, hard (no pun intended) to understand women expressing an opinion regarding a guy not getting hard and WHY?

    I am marking this "no replies' from anyone else but you, as I don't want to hear the 'blow back' from those that want to be 'expert' on the subject. Even as young as 22, I had erection problems just due to being nervous for the first time with an attractive girl and even then, she felt it was her problem... Nothing could be further from the truth. I was so upset over it I went to my Dr. and asked him and he said I was physically fine. blood pressure etc, and that I might try having a 'small drink' beforehand to 'relax.

    Getting an erection is both physical, mental and emotional, and anyone telling you differently are full of S&^% .

    This kind of erectile problem is emotionally hard on a guy, and I understand his being apologetic, but the reality is, he has nothing to apologize for... Shit happens... and just be understanding a help him relax and his penis will be like a 'broom handle' ... Mine was/ is... Relax

Most Helpful Guy

  • could mean your not hot enough to get him aroused, your not helping, no kissing or sweet horny sounds, he had to piss, fart or poop, drain too much alcohol


    dehydrated, took too long to get to the fucking, dicks dont stay hard indefinitely,


    fyi the sexier you are the easier it is, try smelling good, setting the mood, at least pretend like you care lol


    And at the end of it it could just be a bad diet with not enough circulation or nitric oxide, or not enough exercise

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have never had this happen once and I'm amazed at how many girls complain about it here. And I've been with some older guys.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

1 14
  • Alcohol creates the likelihood of E. D problems. So it's not you, it's him

  • Could be anxiety. Could be ED.

  • It’s possible that performance anxiety and alcohol worked together to cause the problem. Porn dependency is another possibility, but if it’s that, that would mean he’s lying. It’s certainly not your fault. The best way to help him is just to shrug it off and if he brings it up to tell him you don’t think it’s a big deal.

  • Could be alcohol or nervousness. But it could also be erectile dysfunction. It affects as many as 25% of men under 40 now.

  • I'm sure it was not your fault. I bet it was nerves and the booze certainly did not help. Did both of you get naked when this happened? Did a handjob not even help?

    • How old is he?

    • He is 27 and no I even blew him and it helped but then went soft

  • He was drunk, and that says it all. Just make sure to tell him not to drink before you fool around next time.

  • Performance anxiety, most likely

  • Alcohol or nervous thinking can do this. Also wrong pacing, like if he tries to go way too fast. Gotta slowly build up with foreplay for a good erection

  • "normally it doesn't happen" means it happens always lolll

    • i had a situation just like that in 2017 and the 2nd time he also didn't stand up and my body was perfect at that point in time

    • @malwi93 are u saying ur body isn’t perfect now?

  • There could be many different reasons for this

  • being drunk and nervous can be the cause of it

  • That happens when a guy is really nervous

  • Could definitely be the alcohol or nerves

  • Erectile dysfunction.

  • Well too much alcohol can cause that issue.