What does it mean if my man doesn’t go down on me?

I’ve been seeing this guy for around 4 months now and we have sex almost every other time we see each other. I’ve noticed that I go down on him a lot (without him having to ask). I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he was a virgin before me and he just smells and tastes really clean so I genuinely crave it. I just wish he’d crave and go down on me without asking (the way I do to him). But now I am overthink everything. My first ex craved to go down on me (but then again I was a virgin at the time so I was clean and untouched). My second ex would casually go down on me depending on the mood/vibe that he was in, but he’s go down on me without having to ask. And now my current guy doesn’t even go near my vagina with his mouth. Is it because it’s too early into the relationship (4 months), or because he was a virgin 3 months ago, or because he doesn’t like how I taste or smell? I don’t know I need some opinions on why a guy would not go down on a woman.
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Superb Opinion

  • There are a bunch of possible reasons, and few are mutually exclusive, but the mostly likely here are: 1. he doesn't know you want him to, and 2. he doesn't know how, and is afraid of doing it badly.

    To the first, yes, it'd be nice if you didn't need to ask, but letting the perfect be the enemy of the good means you'll never reach that point. If he sees that you want it, and that giving it yields good results, he'll be all the more eager. If he's a virgin, he's not going to have knowledge of what women like, so tell him.

    To the second, there's a common social attitude (I wouldn't quite call it a stereotype, but it's in that family) that men are expected to *know* things, sexually speaking, and there's a distinct lack of mercy to those who never picked them up. Whether you give him that impression or not, he'll have been hit with it throughout his life, and may need some coaxing to be able to try something he's not likely to be good at, at first. If he sees you're willing to teach him, and won't hold it against him if he doesn't get it right straight off the bat, he'll be more willing. Think (for the moment) of sex as crossing a river- how do you do it? Well, you can take a boat, or build a makeshift raft, or look for a bridge, or swim, or try to ford the river, if it's shallow enough, or just walk across it, if you're Jesus. The more you know how to do, the more options you'll have.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Has he ever eaten your pussy? He's a virgin, he doesn't know what to do. Just because you've had sex before doesn't change the taste of your pussy. If you're curious as to what your pussy tastes like, dip your finger inside and pull it out and taste it. He's a virgin you're probably going to have to teach him. Stop sucking his dick so much and tell him you'll go down on him when he goes down on you

Most Helpful Girls

  • You need to talk with him about it.

    Maybe he's just really oblivious of it.
    But you need to talk with him, it's important to be able to do that when you have sex with someone. If you feel like you can't, then maybe you shouldn't have sex with them.

  • Maybe you should talk to him and tell him what you want. And I don't know what this has to do with being a virgin. It doesn't make someone more clean/dirty to go down on them

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 15
  • I would not be offended if you were comfortably positioned on couch, asked me to sit here and investigate this. He probably does not want to offend his girl or does not have any clue about what you want.
    —he should be open to “after-the-fact” tutelage.

    It could be a fun Test lab…try and see kind of thing.🤷🏻‍♂️

  • Being a virgin has nothing to do with it. You just got a selfish dick of a boyfriend.

  • XD XD you do get that unless you're fucking another dude and then immediately asking another dude to go down on you, there's no difference right?
    Talk to him about it and fucking ask him?

  • Most men are selfish and if you want to train him-in into doing something maybe stop doing what you're doing and he will ask you why and then you can say well I didn't think you liked it because you never did it to me

  • You need to tell him how good it feels and how much you like it. If you don't say anything nothing will change. Use go hygiene down there and tell him every time he goes down on you that you will return the favor. It is healthy and ok to talk about sex after all. How is the sex with him otherwise? Don't forget tons of condoms!!

  • Probably cautious of what it would be like for him, being inexperienced the thought of it probably grosses him out a bit. Or he's just a selfish prick, and a crap lover.

  • A lot of men expect head and get head but don’t eat pussy. Many men just don’t like to eat pussy.

  • Umm we aren't him so maybe try asking him. Don't see why virginity mattered in any part of your story

  • If a guy really likes doing cunnilingus and is fond of his partner, it will not matter if she is too wet, densely hairy or a little musky. He will dive in anyway. It is an act of love.
    There must be some reason he holds back and it is probably not you. It is him.

  • He might think he's bad compared to you exes in pleasuring you. He obviously doesn't know how to do it in a way that works for you.

  • Discharge. Buy some edible lotion and introduce some foreplay. I suggest strawberry.

  • Don't take it personally.. some guys/girls don't like doing this.. i had a girlfriend once who loved me going down her but she would not do it to me.. it kinda sucked..

  • He has never smelled or tasted you, and he is a virgin, you need to teach him, so teach him Well...
    When you feel clean, fresh and horny... and then while he is laying on top of you.
    Put both hands on his shoulders and push him down, firmly and forcefully... He will go down, and never have to be asked or told to again... and he will get better... make him feel like a King, and he will proudly TRY to be MORE of a King... lol
    (Even if it isn't Great the first time, Pretend it is... "BIG time", Lots of Moans and Grunts and Movement, grind into his mouth) he will get better...

  • 😂😂he’s not a man!!!

  • Men are basically gay. The only thing they genuinely want to put their mouths on are dicks and assholes. Just the way it is.

  • I assume he was the one who hit on you

  • Contrary to popular opinion, a lot of guys just don't like doing it. I think it's a little selfish though. I don't particularly like it but I do it to please my girl.

  • he is not your man

  • No experience and maybe isn’t interested

  • You said without asking? How is he going to know unless you actually inform him? He's not going to trust you unless you are actually truthful instead of expecting people to be psychic. If you expect him to use his mouth, use your own by doing the simple task of speaking. If you are mute, then write it down

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