What happened to men being sexually dominant in bed?

Nowadays, young guys are so damn nice and sweet. They don’t want to be dominant or rough, or degrading with you during sex. It’s actually kind of bummer for those of us who like being submissive.

There’s seems to be a stark difference in men from the time I was in my 20s compared to now. I miss all of that rough, nasty, degrading sex. Where it seemed like every guy wanted to treat you like a raunchy porn film.

Guys now are like… mr nice guy, and they want to be dominated by women and forced to act like a sissy, and all of this stuff. I don’t get it.

Something is seriously off about a generation of grown men who don’t even want deep throat. When I was in my 20s, I literally had guys who would just shove it down my throat until and gag me on it. I miss that.

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Superb Opinion

  • My girl and her friend were talking about this over the weekend. I reminded them that more than half of men today grow up in a fatherless household, and many of them are the second or even third generation of fatherless kids. How can a boy learn how to be a man without a father in his life on a regular basis?

    On top of that, you've got radical feminism, "MeToo", and in the last few years, the rise of "regret = rape" among many women - as in, "I chose to sleep with a guy, I was completely down with it at the time, but, now, several days later, I regret it, so it was obviously rape." There was a girl here on GaG just about a week ago saying this very thing. I was happy to see that most women strongly disagreed and told her so, but one girl with this attitude can destroy the lives of a lot of men.

    This is why I pretty much date almost exclusively out of the BDSM world - women who fully know what they're getting and are completely on board for it.

    • We need to figure a way of undoing the damage caused by catering to the thoughts and feelings of the minority of crybabies out there who seem to totally dictate social order now. It’s like whatever they say, social media will enforce it and it becomes unwritten law. God I miss the 2000s.

    • That's one of the reasons I don't do social media. It's rotten to the core.

    • There are a lot of crazies in the BDSM world too. But I guess they are easier to spot there.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • There are a few possible reasons.

    Firstly, the majority of men are porn addicts even if they think otherwise. They’ve been jerking off to it since they were teens, and they never stopped.

    Porn affects the way men view women and the things they fantasise about. It’s a form of Pavlovian conditioning. Whatever fantasy, kink, fetish etc. they jerk off to creates reward circuitry in their brains and makes them want more of that.

    The people who run the porn industry know this. They also know that most men think with their dicks. They do this purposely. They use porn as a tool of subversion - that’s why it’s free and easy to access. The type of porn which is popularised has changed over time.

    It’s clear that in today’s world there’s a big push to emasculate men. Of course the porn industry is going to be in on that.

    In fact I believe that a lot of the tranny stuff we’re seeing has a lot to do with “sissy porn” and autogynophilia - originally straight men who are influenced to become sexually aroused by imagining themselves as the women they’re attracted to. There are actually porn sites literally designed to do this, only showing that type of porn, and they’re more popular than many people realise.

    If it’s not that it’s the cuckolding type stuff. Some guys get really obsessed with that.

    Then there’s the fact that testosterone levels are dropping for a number of reasons: sedentary lifestyles, bad diet, environmental toxins.

    As we age our testosterone levels drop, and this drop usually happens around 30 years old. Also however, the average man of today has 20% lower testosterone than the average man of 20 years ago regardless of age. 1 in 4 young men already have medically low testosterone levels. This only gets worse as they get older.

    Then there’s your age, and the types of men you attract/look for. As you get older your priorities change and the types of men you attract or who are available change.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Did you always love dick being shoved down your throat to the point you are gagging , or was it done to you before and because of trauma you crave it because its so violent and degrading.

    it’s been done to me and it does cause a rush or something but I’m not sure if it’s healthy relaxing or pleasurable. It could just be adrenaline cortisol with fight or flight. It’s so not necessary to be messed with like that. Go exercise

    • I've never been sexually assaulted in any way. It's just something that I discovered turns me on. Almost all sex in not necessary, we do sex because we like to, what are you getting at?

  • Maybe because when men get dominant... we scream. And I don't mean "Ohh, harder, ba-" Nah. As In we scream rape or something equal enough to destroy their entire lives. Aaand supposedly, we women are just becoming not worth the trouble now a days. SOoo maybe that's why, even in the bed, they don't wanna do something stupid.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 46
  • You have a generation of men raised by what's essentially the Junior League, and you expect them to maintain a desire for sexual dominance?

    ... You do realize that men are human, right? Not machines?

  • Because now unless they get written permission and have a witness to even touch tit they'll get jailed for rape.

    • Kind of right 👍

    • And then they have to hope that she doesn't decide, 2 weeks later, that she regrets her decision, because, in some girls' minds, it retroactively becomes rape.

    • @MrOracle 🤣 who said that.

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  • Maybe u are just with the wrong guys. There are a ton of us out there that love to be dominant

  • I guess men calm down a bit with sexual urges when they mature? Or they show it differently because they also want relationships?

  • They probably just don't wanna come off as rapey creeps

    • Yup- I was much more comfortable being dominant with men than women. With my wife its different since we know each other's preferences so well, but when dating I had to be told to dominate or be rough.

    • @matchrestore I also think it's just a power shift to with the ages like I personally don't care for dominant men

    • Yeah. My wife rarely asks for it