Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I and other virgins have come together to compile this list of things that we are tired of hearing upon people find out we’re virgins. Some people are cool about it but others like to interject these standard statements that can leave us baffled and not sure what to think. Here are a list of our things we think are not particularly the best to say when you find out someone is a virgin.
1. "You’re a virgin? Wow, that’s so rare!"
Also sometimes followed by “you’re like the only one.” Yes thank you for making me feel like some kind of unicorn. And I have had some literally call me a unicorn.
2. "You should NEVER do it!"
Why? No, really, I’m actually concerned. Why shouldn’t I?
3. "Make sure you save it for the right one."
Actually, this isn’t that bad but it’s one of those unsolicited advice things. Frankly, it’s in my hands to do with what I wish.
4. "Don’t get pregnant."
Thank you?
5. "You must be a good girl/boy."
This one annoys me. This implies that people who have sex are “bad” and those who do not are “good” when in fact sex is just a natural part of life and doing or not doing it is neither good nor bad. This also implies I live life in a bubble.
6. "Let me guess, you’re saving it for marriage?"
Maybe, maybe not. Does it matter either way? Is it somehow bad if I was?
7. "You should just hurry up and get it over with."
Woah, why, what’s the rush? Virginity means different things to different people, for some it’s too special to just “get it over with”.
8. "Stay that way, trust me."
Trust you on my personal decision, hmm…Nope, nope. And I’m not entirely sure why I should stay this way, either.
9. "Don’t worry, you’ll find the right one."
This is just a big assumption. I could already be with someone or just not at that stage in my life where I want to find someone.
10. "You’re really pure."
Just like #5, this implies having sex is impure when it is simply natural.
So that was the list of what not to say to a virgin. But hey, everyone is different. Whilst some may have a problem with hearing the above, others may not.
What Girls & Guys Said
28 28i would love to marry a virgin.
but i would also like to become a billionaire and i think i would have an easier time becoming a billionaire then ever finding a western girl that is a virgin.
let me ask you this. Are you a virgin? if not then I don't think you can say that you want your partner to be.
nope, but that doesn't mean i can't want a virgin. that and i am a man, i have to go out and get vagina. ladies can just open their legs and receive dick. so no it's not the same thing. and i ain't no man whore. i've only had sex with one girl.
wtf man? girls have to seek out guys just as much as guys have to seek out girls (also this is really heteronormative. some girls like girls and some boys like boys so?). Like a lot of guys have never asked anyone to have sex with them and it just happens. And some girls (such as myself) would really have to search far and wide to find someone who is attractive (as in that they personally think is attractive) and also willing
fawkkkk nooo. you can go to a bar, and straight up say "who wants to fuck" and i can promise you my left nut you will have dick. and for god sake stop making up words from your gender studies class "hetero-normative" is just normal. this is how the population grew. guys are the horn dogs, they go far and wide to receive vagina. unless you are a unattractive fat girl (which someone is still going to fuck you) you have absolutely no reason to go out and search for a man, because all you have to do is look pretty, and be a good person. and they will hunt you down like the hunters they are. get out of here with your "gender is a construct bullshit". seriously, we even have erections in the morning without us being horny, that is how much of sex "fiends" you can say we are. this is how we got to 7 billion strong.
Dude, if that were true, I would have been with a guy by now.
bailey, you have to ask yourself why is it that you cannot get a guy? is there something about you that emits some sort of "do not attempt to hump me" thing? because every guy i have known is a horn dog, he just controls it really well. did you actually go up to the guy you want and ask what you want of him? again, it's men who have throughout history have been the chasers of woman. it's a chemical called testosterone and men have much more of it then woman can ever have (if woman have too much testosterone they can get cancer, it's even worse for men to have extra estrogen because they are much more likely to get cancer than woman with too much testosterone!) half way through this response i have just beat my meat to Asian milfs. anyways, i have no doubt woman can get AS horny, but not to the amount of times men get horny. seriously i have an erection at least 2 times a day for absolutely no reason. like in my economics class...
I'm a virgin also
"1 universe 8 planets"
WAIT WHAT HAHAHAHAHA
Wow how did I miss that :/
Seeing that made my jaw drop. What the actual flock.
Well mister smartypants, how many planets are there? :-P They probably meant in the solar system, which is true.
That is true. However the universe still doesn't have just the solar system lel
Haha, they probably don't class the last one
I wish I wasn't a 19 year old virgin. All my friends have had sex before and I've never had a boyfriend. I must be the ugliest woman on earth because I knew a girl who was considered fat and ugly and she had sex with her boyfriend at 18.
Don't think like that, it has nothing to do with that. I'm 21 and still a virgin, it's perfectly ok. For some reason society likes to think there is some kind of timeframe for romantic experiences (first kiss, getting a boyfriend/girlfriend, having sex, etc.). There is no timeframe, experiences happen at any time. You are only 19, it could happen next year for all you know!
Cool take 👍
Funny pictures you have chosen
Virgin, too☝🏻️☝🏻
How about the one: Are you relligious?
I also find myself with the constat questioning about that. Some believe how com I haven't had sx at all if it is because I dont like me or im saving or what it is because in this age being a virgin is rare. SOme guys even do not lke virgins you know becae they wantsomeone with experience as them, because they dont like to teach things to the lady. An even more rare is to find in this age 40 something virgins I dont get why is so wrong to being a virgin and why some men donot like virgins. Ther is this guy I met 5 mos ago we were starting to get to know each other we even went out on the first dae, we even made out but I believe he wanted somehing more but he never said it directly to my face, so I ssume he was not looking for that even if he did want it. I do believe that the more dates we have priobably adn eventually we will end up having sex, or at least sleeping but not intercourse, but that will come as more we get to know each other he has had sex before not me. But recently he told me things between me and him is not going to work, he never told me directly why or gave me a reason for his statement. I assume it was because he thought I was too innocent or too naive or not tat woman bold in my 40´s which I heard women in theri 40s in these times have to be bold. What do u think?
I have a feeling it may have indeed been because he thought he wouldn't get from you what he wanted. I read somewhere that some guys feel taking away a girl's virginity is "too much responsibility." (guys, let me know what you think about this). There's also the rumour that virgins will become clingy afterwards or that they don't want to "corrupt" or "taint" us. It really is all awful stereotypes.
@take owner. i never told the guy i was a virgin iI had to lie to him and told him back then that I had 2 previous relationhiops with someone, if i did tha was becaus he will never ever believe thta a pretty girl like me in my 40´s is still a virgin and if I told him so he will back off when I really wantet to keep getting to know him because I like the guy and I felt for s hints he felt attracted to me, but he is a guy of course..
I say his loss, he missed out on someone awesome.
1 universe, 8 planets... who the hell wrote that...
Not mocking your take, that just annoyed me.
I have no clue, I couldn't find a different picture so I just used that one
Just don't point out how much of a loser I am, and we'll be good.
"Maybe, maybe not. Does it matter either way? Is it somehow bad if I was?"
Yes, sex before marriage is bad, it's just become so naturally in this corrupted world to become like animals. Follow your animalistic instincts they say, right and that is why we have 40 million abortions annually, STD's infection in the hundred of million annual, people are living alone as single most of their most fruitful years and live the life being unhappy despite total animalistic freedom.
Well good luck following your instincts without any moral guidance.
PS: Nothing personal, is minder for all who thinks sex outside marriage does it matter.
Sex before marriage is not bad but not practising safe sex is. People just need to use the proper protection to avoid pregnancy and spreading STDs.
I disagree sex before marriage is bad, safe sex does however as you say provide protection to avoid pregnancy and STDs, but not the emotion issues you are all frighting. Constant stress over dating, new partner, then break up new partner, then break new partner etc. etc. do you become happier, I think not. So yes I think it is bad, even if God doesn't exist, that kind of lifestyle is bad for the human psyche and society at large.
What kind of emotional issues? The one the Bible forced on you? Unless you're some religious prude, sex between lovers feel no different than sex with a spouse. And as long as everyone give consent and feel good, I fail to see the emotional issues. Break-ups I agree but that's a whole different topic and thus irrelevant. Even fuck buddies are only screwed if they go beyond what they agreed on in first place.
"... I fail to see the emotional issues. Break-ups I agree but that's a whole different topic and thus irrelevant." Yes you fail to see the emotional issues when you disregard break-ups, divorce, unprotected sex resulting in abortions and TDS etc.. The emotional issues are the result of the consequence of the lifestyle/behaviour pattern. So ignore the consequence of a lifestyle, any lifestyle including deeply religious ones, is stupid and ignorant.
Fine, then I will acknowledge it. By the way, what's the difference between a breakup and a divorce? Your ex girlfriend doesn’t get half your stuff. Again, I can't tell lovers and married people apart.
And the rest of your arguments are solved by using a condom.
Just so you don't put words in my mouth; I wholeheartedly believe in the mantra "Safe, sane and consensual" any leftover issues with sex are solved by contraception and agreements.
"By the way, what's the difference between a breakup and a divorce? Your ex girlfriend doesn’t get half your stuff. Again, I can't tell lovers and married people apart." Nothing if you attitude is, we can always break up, it's the mindset and morals that makes the difference, not a paper saying so. Condoms solved some of the physical issues for sure, when used, but not the emotional issues and condoms are far from uses all the time. Any civilisation in history including our own, that support promiscuity have and will suffer a grade deal of consequence from that attitude. We as a species are not build to for promiscuity, but for monogamy, and we suffers when we don't live in monogamy relationships. No number of down votes can change that fact. All non monogamy relationships result in someone getting hurt at some point.
I thought I could avoid you taking words out of me lol, oh well... "Nothing if you attitude is, we can always break up, it's the mindset and morals that makes the difference, not a paper saying so." My mindset and moral is the mantra "Safe, sane and consensual", you should look it up :) "Any civilisation in history including our own, that support promiscuity have and will suffer a grade deal of consequence from that attitude." Even those who support polygamy? "We as a species are not build to for promiscuity, but for monogamy, and we suffers when we don't live in monogamy relationships. No number of down votes can change that fact." Fundamentally wrong, to quote the Bloodhound Gang; "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals" No animal but humans had ever been spotted waiting so long sans some monogamous birds that get suicidal when their mate dies. "All non monogamy relationships result in someone getting hurt at some point." Only those that violate the mantra.
Out of pure laziness (feel free to laugh at my lack of scientifically articles) here's the TVtropes article discussing the mantra: tvtropes.org/.../SafeSaneAndConsensual
The "Sane" part is the main problem today, people are not "Sane" nor safe as 40 million abortion annually should testify. "Even those who support polygamy?" Polygamy have is own set of problems, and no we are no build for polygamy, the man may be happier about but the women usually are not. So it's a fail as well. Human history testifies that we are monogamous, sure we fail and suffers, but almost every culture are or have been primarily monogamous and that's for a reason.
"Human history testifies that we are monogamous, sure we fail and suffers, but almost every culture are or have been primarily monogamous and that's for a reason." Are rats monogamous? Are monkeys? Nope, we're not birds we are an ape species and then we're naturally inclined to reproduce as much as possible with the best mates we can find. And again the human history also acknowledge both polygamy and promiscuously though slut-shaming of girls are also a big deal.
PS. I didn't say that the man is the one with multiple partners.
"Nope, we're not birds we are an ape species and then we're naturally inclined to reproduce as much as possible with the best mates we can find."
Monogamy is in both genders and in every culture on earth and in history for at reason, just because a lot of people don't obey the rules, doesn't mean the rules are not there for a reason. It's in our nature, we are not like other primates in any number of ways, so stop comparing human and some primates - not all, Gibbons for instance are strictly monogamous while gorillas and chimpanzees are promiscuous.
"And again the human history also acknowledge both polygamy and promiscuously though slut-shaming of girls are also a big deal." ... acknowledge polygamy yes, promiscuously only in our time and few others cultures in history all with bad result by the way, 80% of human history have not and that's for a reason.
We don't have monogamy as a basic cultural trait for no reason at all, it's because it works the best.
www.livescience.com/...meant-to-be-monogamous.html
Your own source seems to agree with me: "Evolutionary psychologists have suggested that men are more likely to have extramarital sex, partially due to the male urge to "spread genes" by broadcasting sperm. Both males and females, these scientists say, try to up their evolutionary progress by seeking out high-quality mates, albeit in different ways." "We're special in this regard, but at the same time like most mammals, we are a polygynous species." Kruger said humans are considered "mildly polygynous," in which a male mates with more than one female." "Some scientists view both social and sexual monogamy in humans as a societal structure rather than a natural state. "I don't think we are a monogamous animal," said Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. "A really monogamous animal is a goose – which never mates again even if its mate is killed." "Monogamy is invented for order and investment – but not necessarily because it's 'natural".
"Monogamy is in both genders and in every culture on earth and in history for at reason," Except Islam where polygamy is allowed.
That's really the point our social stricture is monogamous for a reason, we do have the animal instinct to fuck anything that makes our juices flow. But we do have the intelligences not to do it, because it has CONSEQUENCES. I don't think the any down vote I got, actually disagree, they want their mates to be faithful to them, only they want their own freedom to fuck around. People can't handle partners not being exclusive, that goes for both male and female in all culture in history, the 70 was a disaster because of the sexual promiscuity. Children without proper farther, STD's including AIDS, the total collapse of our nuclear families. Today a nuclear family family is almost a freak of nature or made up by religious nut cases. Our society will suffer for this in decades to come.
"Children without proper farther, STD's including AIDS, the total collapse of our nuclear families." The need of a father seems highly overestimated, who are you to imply that rainbow families are inferior to nuclear families? And it's not like you don't get to choose your role models yourself anyway (I know that question is off-topic but you're offending me). We already agreed that STD's pregnancy and such are fixed using condoms (and condoms are required to qualify as safe according to the mantra) Finally, there are consequences with a monogamous life as well: Promiscuous people have to constantly fight their urges to avoid cheating. There's an unspoken ownership over another person. The whole idea of "the one" and the implications that once you settle, there will be nobody better completely ignoring conflicts like love triangles.
"The need of a father seems highly overestimated" .. only the bad fathers highly overestimated, not the good ones. "who are you to imply that rainbow families are inferior to nuclear families" who are you trying to suppress free speech, calming offence for speaking my opinion - nuclear families are documented superior to rainbow families - as far as social and emotional potential goes. Naturally as anti rainbow families sentiments decreases then the social and emotional burdens of rainbow families decreases with it. "Finally, there are consequences with a monogamous life as well" yes as I stated earlier, there is a price for everything, but the price is substantially lower for monogamous as human history has shown. "Promiscuous people have to constantly fight their urges to avoid cheating." They will cheat no matter what IF there have low moral values, and it will hurt their victims far more than fight their urges does.
"The whole idea of "the one" and the implications that once you settle, there will be nobody better completely ignoring conflicts like love triangles".. "The one" is a dream and have nothing to do with monogamy, monogamy is about duty and keeping you vows, rather than betraying you partner for selfish reasons and sexual gratification.
The critique of "the one" works in conjunction with my other comments, I admit it isn't that much by itself: "Promiscuous people have to constantly fight their urges to avoid cheating." = If another person seems more compatible, your current spouse fades in comparison encouraging cheating especially if your relationship is suffering already. I'm locking forward to your comment about " There's an unspoken ownership over another person." That comment too empowers the comment about "the one". "nuclear families are documented superior to rainbow families - as far as social and emotional potential goes. Naturally as anti rainbow families sentiments decreases then the social and emotional burdens of rainbow families decreases with it." This is bullshit, I'm willing to discuss this in PMs to avoid going off-topic. But for now here is documentation for the contrary: hrcak. srce. hr/file/189023
"They will cheat no matter what IF there have low moral values, and it will hurt their victims far more than fight their urges does." Unless they go on open relationships and admit to themselves and to their partners that they aren't monogamous and either should get fuck buddies or polyamory.
*Looking
(I have no idea where the spaces came from https://hrcak.srce.hr/file/189023 )
"If another person seems more compatible, your current spouse fades in comparison encouraging cheating especially if your relationship is suffering already." Yes that can happen, but the causes of problems by "upgrading" your partner for someone more compatible are great. Lack of trust, ruined life of the less compatible spouse, children in spilt families. There is always someone better out there, but settling in a safe and fruitful relationship has far more up's than down's for all involved. Your suggestion is rather selfish, it's ok for the spouse that can "upgrade", but the spouse now left alone have in effect wasted time and perhaps his/her best years. "There's an unspoken ownership over another person." yes ownership comes with exclusiveness, who would really be without it, how many GaG'ers are really into open relationships - not very many, because human nature can't deal with it. Sure we would all like to be free ourselves, but we'll hate if our partner isn't faithful.
"nuclear families are documented superior to rainbow families" we have to clear about what we are talking about, rainbow families are not just homosexual families, I am talking divorced parents, multiple broken relationships etc., AND homosexual families as well but far from exclusively. Homosexuals can of course be as good parents as heterosexuals, that is not the issues. I am talking the consequence of non monogamous relations, hetro and homosexuals alike. Both suffers equally from betrayal by their partner. "Unless they go on open relationships and admit to themselves and to their partners that they aren't monogamous and either should get fuck buddies or polyamory." Indeed, however the far bulk of humans can't deal with open relationships over time, the 70's showed this quite clearly. Humans are monogamous as a species, anything else causes pain, distrust and a far weaker society.
"There is always someone better out there, but settling in a safe and fruitful relationship has far more up's than down's for all involved." And then there's the fruitless, abusive and neglectful relationships where Mr Nice guy/girl shows up and becomes a flirt. Citing my source (the essay) the real problem is loveless relationships which is also a risk in nuclear families. Also, the only reason the open relationships died out in the 70's was the rise of STD's. "how many GaG'ers are really into open relationships - not very many, because human nature can't deal with it. Sure we would all like to be free ourselves, but we'll hate if our partner isn't faithful" Statistics to back such statements up are hard to come by, wonder if I should start a poll just to check.
"wonder if I should start a poll just to check." please do it could be fun. "Also, the only reason the open relationships died out in the 70's was the rise of STD's." not the only reason, however as I said STD er there, and condoms doesn't give 100% safety especially when not used. In a relationship it often won't be, then when one part sleep round, well STD's halo... not to mention unsafe oral sex, always a popular choice. "the real problem is loveless relationships" actually that is true in any regard.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1623427-how-many-of-you-have-open-relationships
It lacks male voters and it seems like at least girls especially singles oppose the idea, but it needs to be more viral before it's any relevance.
Curiously, the guy-votes are very divided so far.
Open relationships, works for a few people all of the time, for some people some of time, but for most people non of the time.
Actually, most of the comments I get are rude. Like 'you're such a prude' like wtf? How am I a prude? Or 'you're missing out' etc. These comments usually come from girls...
I've had "You're missing out" from a friend before and my other friend chimed in and said "No, you're not. Dick will always be there" XD
Haha nice :)
Im a virgin and i literally dont mind a single one of those
some of them are actually nice
Everyone is different of course, I find #3 is the one that doesn't really bother me as much.
THUMBS UP :D
thank you xD