What's One Thing You Would Tell The Opposite Gender About Sex You Think They Don't Know Or "Seem To Get"?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Agree? Or Disagree? 🤔

[ecfresh]

Answering this question as well as your question about ‘guys wanting women to initiate’ as they flow together. Usually I would offer this advice to younger folks as some of this is learned over time:


I believe that especially in the beginning of the relationship generally the guy is more aggressive and takes the lead in sexual energy by pursuing the gal. That raw sexual desire is a turn on for her and both people are happy because they are both turned on. So if this pattern repeated every day/week for the next 69 years it would be all good:). Everyone would die smiling:)


But life is change and when that pattern changes as the relationship matures (and shit hits the fan in the real world) then each person needs to actively pursue the other. Feeling desired by our lover and knowing they want us will always be a universal turn on.


To the guys I say make an effort at least 48 hours before sex to start communicating your desire and seduce her in romantic and suggestive ways. Use your testosterone to power that message and watch her respond. Write her love notes, give her a morning massage, do the dishes and take out the smelly trash. Learn what her special buttons are and ask how she wants to be romanced. Talk to her and maintain a strong connection when you are out of view, often times when ladies sense a weaker connection they start to worry or overthink.


To the ladies I would suggest you own your desire and not always rely on him to start turning you on. Read erotica, exercise, masturbate, dress up in sexy lingerie, dozens of other ways to warm up before seeing him again. That way when life challenges us it’s not always on the guy to initiate and each partner can feel wanted at different times.


When I get married I already know that scheduled sex/date night will be a requirement. We can all get so busy especially with kids that sex can be put on the back burner.. sexless relationships can slowly create a rift between lovers. So I say pick a night (usually Friday or Saturday) and block it off as date night. No, sex doesn’t HAVE to happen on date night but try to spend alone and intimate time together. In this way the calendar is initiating sex and each person can look forward to it each week.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Why didn't I ever see this answer till now,? Great answer and fitting it was selected superb!!

[Lliam]

One thing that comes to mind has to do with foreplay. Porn and maybe most men in general focus on enjoying a woman's body. Basically, all a woman has to do is be there. The guy does most of the kissing and touching. They are the aggressors.

But I was introduced to having it done to me. After a couple of really good dates and outings, this particular woman finally invited me into her rented house. She laid me on her bed and methodically removed ever one of my articles of clothing as if I was an invalid. She assessed my entire body and ran her fingers over me as I laid there. At that point, we kissed quite a bit before she stood and undressed herself. She didn't put on a sexy strip tease, but she didn't simply undress matter of factly like she would if alone getting ready for bed. It was more slow, systematic and deliberate. It was like she was in charge, but it was also submissive. She didn't put on a vamp act or play at being sexy, she simply WAS sexy. I don't know how to explain it.

Then she climbed up and we started kissing again. Her dangling breasts brushed against my chest. My hands explored her body. At some point, she kissed my ear, breathed into it and ran her tongue around the shell. She slowly moved to the side of my neck, then collar bone, then chest and nipple. Everything she did drove me insane. I never liked my nipples touched and almost twisted away when I knew she was about to lick mine. But I hung in there. Her moist tongue was adroit. Even though she was tender, the sensation was almost too intense. I bit my knuckle to control myself. She eventually moved down my stomach to my dick and balls. I had never been so turned on my life. My entire body buzzed and it felt like bees were swarming in my neck and upper chest. I wound up clawing at myself to quell the sensation. I was filled with burning gratitude and admiration. My desire was through the roof. No woman had ever taken that kind of initiative or been so skillful.

It was similar to what a man would do to a woman. She knew so perfectly what to do because she knew what felt good when it was done to her. It was like she had a sixth sense. In a way, I was like her succulent prey, except she was tender, not dominant or aggressive.

My point is, it's one thing for a woman to look sexy, to suck dick, to let a guy play with her tits, eat her pussy and fuck her. But it can be amazing to surrender to a woman and be on the receiving end.

How many women think about that? How many have that initiative and intuition? How many guys are even aware of the erogenous nature of their own bodies? How many guys would be patient enough to give a woman the opportunity? I have a feeling that many guys feel the need to take charge.

I'll stress that she wasn't a dominant woman, quite the opposite. She orgasmed from tittie play and being rough fucked. She loved the male body and was insatiable when it came to using and being used.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Wow. If you’re not an author, you should think of becoming one.

[Lliam]

@AlwaysBelieving. Thanks.

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, bbb. I just read the other replies and there were some really good ones. I realize that I neglected to make my two main points. That is, 1) foreplay can be the best part of sex. I focused on what that particular girlfriend showed me. It was a real eye opener. But it was an example of what men and women can and should do for each other. I'm afraid that women are often the recipients because guys feel like they have a responsibility to be in charge. And guys who have never experienced it themselves don't know how to do it well to women. Sometimes people just mechanically do what they think they are supposed to do before getting to the real action. Do you think that's true? I could be wrong. 2) It's nice when women take initiative. After my first date with that same girlfriend, I walked her to her door. She unlocked it and then turned. She placed her hands on top of my shoulders, stood on her tip toes, pressed herself against me and gave me a kiss. Her lips were so soft that my head swam. It was a lovely gesture on her part. On the way home I was on cloud nine.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I imagine you were. Sorry didn't reply to this answer sooner. I either didn't get alert or just didn't see, there was a few answers wasn't trying to neglect just didn't see

[BlueScorpio]

1. Slow down, it's not a race nor a competition who can orgasm, roll over, and fall asleep the quickest.
2. God created the clitoris for a reason.. read the instruction on to use it.
3. Stop trying to make sex out to be a literal life or death situation. I get that having intimacy in a relationship is wanted and good to have, but the way some men make sex out to be this huge ordeal that if they don't have sooner than later their dick will shrivel up, fall off, and they'll drop dead within the next couple days/hours. That's why a lot of women are hesitant when men approach us cause if we feel like you're main goal is to just sex us and nothing else, we will turn you down. Not once has their ever, in human history, been a recorded record of any human being dying from no sex or lack of sex. Again, I understand, sex is key in a relationship but don't put it on pedestal. Note, not all men do this.. but a lot do.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣I so so love this answer... Thanks for the great read 🙂 People Hope You All Read this reply here!!!

[mattmanyah2]

I think what sex does is two different things for men versus women... After sex it's almost like I can think clearer... As terrible as it sounds the person I'm with doesn't matter (only been with 2) it's about getting that clarity of mine back in one of the cases it made me realize that I didn't want to be with that person that she had many bad characteristics but I didn't notice it until after sex it was really weird

[BlueScorpio]

@mattmanyah2 I'm sorry but that's just indescribable sad, you have to have sex with someone to know if they have bad characteristics or not? Paying attention and getting to know someone would tell you if they did or not.. I don't know that sounds like an excuse.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Just because I'm a woman, sex does NOT come easy for me. Nor do I give it out like a treat: it has to be earned!

Some of us do have standards, are not desperate for a man, relationship, or attention, and want sex with a man that wants us for everything we have to offer- not just our bodies.

I am so sick people, men and women, that are shocked or mock me because I haven't had sex since my last relationship. Or they instantly assume I have a friends with benefits, fling, or sleep around-
NO. I equate sex with love and trusting a guy... perhaps if more people did that y'all wouldn't have as much drama with the opposite sex (just saying).

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

GREAT GREAT Answer: BOTH GENDERS READ THIS REPLY, PLEASE!! Thank you once again for your wise words...❤️🙂

[Cynicaldreamer]

Thank you! I'm not going to lie, I got a little fired up typing that up because I feel that is SO important for people to realize: men and women!!! Sex shouldn't be given out just because you can or someone's available. Make sure they're the right person, and that they love and want you... ALL of you and what you have to offer, not just your body. Otherwise, I promise it's going to lead to heartbreak and/or drama down the road for one or both parties involved. Now read that over and over again until it sinks into some of your heads (the top head for you men).

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That last comment tho 🤣🤣🤣 see that's why love your answers, wise and humorous, 👍👍 Again I really hope people will read this and it'll sink in, but 🤷🏼‍♀️ but hey, we tried lololol

[Cynicaldreamer]

Well if nothing else, I can say I did -try- to help some of these people on here. We all know how well some people read on the internet, particularly long comments or responses. I probably should have included a "tl;dr" section for lazy folks- LOL! I couldn't resist. I figured I better be specific before some smartass makes a comment

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[AlwaysBelieving]

Yes X 1000

[jizzyjay]

If sex was done freely without requirement of love and trust per se, then it would not matter as much overall and would cause less drama period because it means less. Jus sayin

[BlueScorpio]

@jizzyjay yeah that sounds sad. If there's no love behind why even bother doing it? I wouldn't.

[Yads_Is_Back]

We don’t select a partner based on two or three simple factors. You’ve been trying to understand it for millennia and still don’t get it so give it up lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[FatherJack]

The genders are polar opposites in so many ways... not surprising really !!

[Yads_Is_Back]

@FatherJack Absolutely! And opposites are supposed to attract but omg look where our world is now

[FatherJack]

Yeah... deliberately engineered to be F-ed up... fortunately more are waking up to the BS circus of " society " ... still too many sheeple though !!

[Xaxztjs]

Can you explain how you select your partners then?

[Thatsamazing]

@Xaxztjs That's also my question.

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Thatsamazing @xaxztjs
One word: EMOTION. It could be somebody like Jack in Titanic - broke of money but passionate. Could be somebody like Leo in The Great Gatsby - rich but naughty and having a thrill of acting “behind the scenes.” Can be a guy who has life and family issues and needs to know where he’s going and has not found his calling in life - let’s even say he’s in his 30s living with a friend and no education and a small part-time job, and let’s even make him introverted and not a good communicator - he can easily make a girl fall in love with him by opening up to her and expressing feelings for her.
It’s all about emotion and how we fit into it :) and obviously this requires the guy to show emotion (repetition there for emphasis). A lot of that can even be shown in how you approach a woman. Do you just ask and quickly end it, or do you show how much you really want her, like hanging onto the Ferris wheel like Noah in The Notebook?
I know, weird examples here, but that’s what gets us running wild for you. EMOTION. Make our hearts beat fast :) Give us an emotional thrill. We love it. That also explains why bad boys get women.
What Women REALLY Look For/How Both Genders Lack Maturity/Why Bad Boys Are AMAZING ↗

So if a guy is so basic and doesn’t show much emotion, then it’s no wonder he doesn’t get women who aren’t after him for one thing, such as money (gold diggers).
It’s a matter of being passionate to your woman. We can’t resist it ;)
@brainsbeforebeauty Am I right, amiga?

[Yads_Is_Back]

Also consider confidence but not arrogance. Be confident enough to show your emotions but humble enough to accept that you’re not the king of the world.

[Thatsamazing]

We don't always want her to fall in love with us.

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Thatsamazing True, but you want sex, right? Doesn’t require falling in love nowadays (crazy hoes lol), but don’t be a basic and expect a lot of women to want to have sex with you - or even a partner. So I’ve given the answer... and therefore factors like money, looks, etc. are all fine and dandy but don’t guarantee you anything. Love is not the only good emotion, as I said above. Nothing says she has to fall in love with you.

[Thatsamazing]

Right, but... that's what I'm saying-- you're saying that emotion is #1, and that with the right emotion she'll fall in love with us, but if we don't necessarily want that... and it's what is required to even get her attention in the first place... do you see what I'm saying?

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Thatsamazing Yep. But I answered your question. Maybe that's why so many guys aren't successful at getting women? Oh wait, this should have been known for years 😂 so yeah, I answered you

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Thatsamazing Men want sex without emotion. Women want emotion in order to have sex. So unless you want a whore who will defy that - for one for all - then you have to give and also expect your share in return. Give and take. For some women, usually more desired ones, that requires more proof from you. I know because we have guys throwing themselves at us, and therefore why would I just take one who is just basic and doesn’t offer his part and what I want? You can’t give nothing and expect everything - and that’s with anything in life.

[Thatsamazing]

Well it's not that we don't want it without emotion. That's not true, for most of us. It just doesn't mean we want a forever-and-ever mentality going just for having sex with a girl. We don't want to be tied down to one person forever, unless we spend a lot of time with her and decide she's "the one" or whatever.

[Thatsamazing]

Sorry, I meant *it's not that we want it without any emotion.

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Thatsamazing I understand. Just don’t be surprised when you find “the one” and she doesn’t want you because you’ve had sex with everybody. And don’t expect a lot of innocent sexual partners if you can’t pull off the emotional factor, which is really just heartless and those guys are the ones smart women avoid sexually. I mean, it’s a give and take scenario. Smart women like smart men, and vice versa. By that I mean ones who make smart decisions and never come back with the need to regret it. I myself won’t even be with a guy whose dick has been everywhere, idc how much he says and shows he loves me. That’s an example. And the same goes for women. The ones who make the stupid decisions of going with those kind of guys end up being whores, so those men and women go perfectly together. It’s just when they come around and mature and then want an innocent partner it’s like 😂😂😂

[1Sophisticatedme]

make sure you wash your pussy or dick before getting into it with your partner, bc a good hygene it goes long ways and make the intimacy a blast!!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍

[Mollynotgemma]

That it’s about the feeling more than the doing!! It’s the kisses and the passion of needing one another more than the quickie... it’s about being connected emotionally physically and mentally at that moment that you can orgasm by just one touch

[AlwaysBelieving]

Good word yes. Just because I have a boner while cuddling doesn’t necessarily mean I want sex.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great answer

[Petra150]

Of all things I had great time telling them guys I'd love the love act to last very long, and very important lady longer after the last cum , I'd love them to know I'd love them to keep kissing and finger me

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍🙂 thanks for sharing 🙂

[Petra150]

Thanks I'm usally very private

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

All three more thanks then 🙂 and same when it comes to personal details, those I keep for a SO... but just thought maybe more discussion and less complaining or bashing people can better learn how the opposite gender really feels

[OlderAndWiser]

The first time a guy tells a girl that he wants to have sex, she might think that he is just wanting to get laid, but I think that the majority of guys have more honorable intentions. My perception is that guys want to have sex so they can feel even closer in a relationship, but girls want to wait until they feel closer before they have sex. Of course it feels good - that's part of the reason why we do it - but it's not the only reason. Anyway, so the guy is ready for sex sooner than the woman is ready (sometimes) and, since she doesn't understand how he is thinking, she assumes he is horny and just wants to get laid. Big misperception!

This question inspired me to post a poll:

When you decide to have sex for the first time with a new partner, what is your motivation?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But some men try to have sex on first date and that's more about sex then than relationship, slow it down that way, women might want sex sooner, but I think they want to make sure they have sex with someone that's not part of this hump and dump or hit it and quit it like some men do do to females...

[OlderAndWiser]

Look at the results on my poll, particularly the results from the men. A small minority just want to get laid but most have a more serious intention. . . according to the poll results.

[MCheetah]

Most men can't easily get laid, while most women on the planet who wanted to, can get laid with little to no effort put forth by them at all. Most men also seem to have much higher libidos than women because we're biologically programmed to, and it used to be advantageous for reproduction and continuing the species. This is to say, men are more hornier (and in my opinion, way more desiring of women for romantic reasons) than you could ever imagine. Women can go months or even years without sex or companionship easily. Men who go more than a year without sex or masturbation often end up as incels. That should tell you how much it controls male behavior.

Of course, there are ways to break this programming, but most men do not seek those out.

[BlueScorpio]

Have you ever met an incel?

[MCheetah]

@BlueScorpio Yes, although it depends on if you're talking about the progressive term for an "incel" which is a woman-hating virgin with rage, or real incels, who are men with very low-self esteem that put all their hopes for confidence and love in a woman's validation towards them. I've known the latter, while the former is just a feminist stereotype that barely even exists.

[JackSmy]

Just be honest with what you like! I DOUBT that you could shock me!! BE the REAL YOU, in bed, and don't play BS games, thinking I might think less, if you LOVE sex, or want it more than I do!!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Good answer

[KiPanther]

As my one friend wisely stated: you're not trying to light a fire down there. A little goes a long way so calm down.

Okay but seriously I think in terms of sex, for all genders, it's important to speak about about what you want and how you like things done. You can't expect the other person to magically read your thoughts and know what you like in bed. Speak up!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

First: "As my one friend wisely stated: you're not trying to light a fire down there. A little goes a long way so calm down."🔥 🤣🤣🤣 Hahahahaha... Thanks for that crack me up laugh 🤣🤣🤣 Serious response-great great answer, and yes communicating through words and actions is needed for a good compatible sex life

[Cherokeehp]

I will probably ever orgasm from a penis. It’s never happened. I don’t think it’ll ever happen. I still like penetrative sex, but if you really want a girl to cum then learn how to use your mouth and hands.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Orgasm from penetration can happen there's different positions and ways to get better penetration and hit "that spot" better... Don't give up on orgasm from penetration.. Just me, but I personally feel that the way better orgasm when they're still inside you and I think it's better/more enjoyable for men as well...

[Cherokeehp]

I don’t care about orgasming from penetration. I’m perfectly happy with orgasming from fingers and hand stuff. I’ve tried different guys. I’ve tried different positions. It just doesn’t work for me and I’m ok with that.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍

[swim15]

Your missing out. I understand that a woman's orgasm from penetration with g-spot stimulation is an amazing experience. I hope that you mean a man one day who can show you.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@swim15 I agree 100% From the female aspect 💯

[Cherokeehp]

@swim15 I doubt that will ever happen. It just doesn’t do it for me.

[swim15]

You're young, one day, you're realize what you are missing out on.

[swim15]

Brainsbeforebeauty Thank you for chiming in. I am a little weak on practical experience when it comes to women' s pleasure. Rather just strong on book knowledge.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@swim15 knowledge is a terrible thing to waste 😅

[swim15]

Brainsbeforebeauty it sure is. I try hard to know everything about everything. But sometimes being a guy, l am handicapped in knowledge of women...😅

[Cherokeehp]

@swim15 you’re a guy. You will literally never understand the female orgasm.

[swim15]

Cherokeehp. True, l will never fully understand. But that doesn't mean I won't try to partially understand from honest opinions, books, and internet.

[Cherokeehp]

@swim15 dude I’m an actual girl telling you about my lived experience. Penetrative sex just doesn’t do it for some girls. I think it feels good and I like it, but probably won’t ever cum, and I’m sure there are some women out there who would agree with me.

[swim15]

Cherokeehp Well now, l have talked to many women and read many books but your the first to claim that you can't orgasm from penetration at all. Some women have to work harder and have more stimulation to be more aroused to have orgasms from penetration. It all about knowing your body.

[Cherokeehp]

@swim15 you can literally just google it. There are tons of women that don’t have vaginal orgasms.

[swim15]

Cherokeehp l will take a look.

[AmandaYVR]

Enough, already, you guys! Cherokeehp, I back you up.

"your the first to claim that you can't orgasm from penetration at all."
You are wrong, very wrong. Please don't lecture/try to inspire a girl about her own body. This is how the word 'mansplaining' came about. And every woman is different. It's not just always about technique.

I have read years ago, in actual proper scientific articles, not here on gag, that ~ 40% of females do not have vaginal orgasms. (Also, there is a difference between never and rarely and often.)
And here, the gag polls also confirm it.
Ignore the male votes, look at the female, 42%.
Can you orgasm just from a dick inside you? ↗
And this poll is poorly worded, but provides a tiny bit of information on it:
Have you ever had a vaginal orgasm? ↗

And p. s. no, the vaginal orgasm is not better. Everyone is different.

[Cherokeehp]

@AmandaYVR thank you.

[swim15]

@AmandaYVR thank you for chiming in. I see that l still have a lot to learn about women. Cherokeehp after some serious Google scholar research, l want to apologize. I am wrong. You not being able to orgasm from vaginal penetration is common. Miss Amanda provided good data. I am sorry for doubting you.

[Cherokeehp]

@swim15 duh.

[sammy1537]

Most women, tend to think about other things during sex. Please, be 100% into us and the lovemaking and not about you best girlfriend Jessica's new gorgeous dress. That slut is so lucky to have perfect body. Did I send check for this months rent...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣 sorry I know you're being serious but the description lolol

[Jjpayne]

Not to stress out about the details. Let's just have fun with it. Let it naturally happen

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree there, some people overthink it or overstress and that can kill the moment if not the mood

[SjE78]

I would say for all those first timers, i would say dont get your expectations too high as you will instantly be left feeling disappointed, and sex is messy, it is frantic, it can be a mix of emotions all in one... but one thing you should do is enjoy and never be afraid to experiment
and have fun while you experience it...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great answer/advice

[SjE78]

thank you :)

[SphynxUK]

That what works for one female, doesn’t work for all.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great great one there!! Thank you!

[iambae]

Crawl to daddy let me teach you

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[Sevenpointfive]

just make me feel good. you're not performing for the camera right now

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Good advice

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

That men's breast are much more sensitive then theirs are as are the war lobes and the nape of the neck (just like females are)... That while a good number think they are meant for the purpose of "fucking the shit" out of a girl others don't mind taking time and making love (even if it takes an hour or two)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Nice answer 💙👍🙂

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

;) I know right?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

Ear not war lobes... lol anyway have you ever tried playing with a guys nipples before? As a guy I can tell you it drives me crazy...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yes I have

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

Fun wasn't it watching their reaction? I know mine would have been funny to watch

[Tobi_Lerone]

If you give a bj try to not to use your teeth and for a hj it's okay to keep it slow :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right! Lol good tips! And yeah sometimes lightly running your finger from tip to base slightly massaging can get things going and then go into the hj

[Tobi_Lerone]

Exactly :) it doesn't has to be fast at all. Sometimes do it slow makes it more enjoyable :)

[Agape93]

Just because it’s wet doesn’t mean I’m ready for you to just shove it in. That hurts like a bitch

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣 I'm sorry lol that is very true and men need to know that, just was funny to read lololol good advice, MEN, READ THIS ONE 🙂

[Agape93]

lol no need to apologize

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

It was the "just shove it in"that got me 🤣 Probably because a lot do do that... Oh damn, might need to update mine, guys, don't spit on it for lube, be civilized and use lube or damn old school it with some Vaseline at least 🤣🤣🤣

[jizzyjay]

😋 can't help it somtimes

[Agape93]

And that’s how you hurt your partner :) congratulations

[jizzyjay]

Still keeps coming back 🤗

[Agape93]

You’re lucky. Guy does that to me is never sharing my bed again.

[kemo56]

I've lived long enough to learn to walk gently when trying to tell a strong woman that there's something she doesn't know...

I answer this taking it as a perspective from a young couple... I would say the one thing to learn with most men would be we want someone sweet and lovable that we can be proud of trustworthy everybody thinks of her as an angel... But to be honest we want to slut in the bedroom with us, though with some of us you might have to work it so that it becomes our idea because you know we're kind of hard-headed individuals at time not that much different than you women are in that department

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great answer.. Thank you for sharing that 🙂

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Men don't care what color a Woman's vaginal area skin color is we will love her no matter what color that skin color is down there beauty is skin deep and in the eyes of the beholder.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Nice answer! Thank you!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@brainsbeforebeauty You're Welcome :)