What's the difference between sexually "passive" and "submissive"?

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Superb Opinion

  • As adjectives the difference between submissive and passive is that submissive is meekly obedient or passive while passive is being subjected to an action without producing a reaction. I know that this is not a grammar or literature class. We are talking about sex. Being sexually passive is easy! You lay there; your partner does all the work. You do not even have to think or be connected to your partner. There are no times when either I or my husband wants for me to be passive. He can do whatever he wants to me. I lay there, he can be as aggressive or violent or anything and I am just like an inert object for him to play with. I am often not even very aware of what is going on. Now being sexually submissive is totally different! My husband can still do anything to me, but I am alert and active. I am a participant in what happens. Sex is enjoyable as opposed to just happening to me! My husband is often still playfully aggressive, but I feel and react. I cry and moan! It is much more pleasurable for him to have me react to his playing rather than being inert! Of course if I am submissive I am able to do things as well. Whatever he wants to have me do! But that is not possible if I am passive and dissociated. Being sexually submissive requires agency. Being sexually passive requires none. To be submissive is an ongoing action. It is something that you do with your partner. It involved ongoing negotiation and active agency on both sides. Even in a TPE relationship - total power exchange relationship dominant partner has complete control and authority over the submissive in all areas and at all times, the submissive actively surrenders control. Very frequently I ride him and control the game. To be sexually passive is to accept whatever the other decides regardless of how those decisions mesh with one's own needs and desires. It is actually a refusal to act; it is totally different from submission. Submissive is someone who follows the lead of a Dom or an Alpha, at least is following, passive is someone that is there and is not doing anything, just waiting the other to do things and then perhaps mentally and emotionally not be there.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Passive is not really doing anything. If he fucks you and you just do nothing you’re passive. Submissive is when he tells you to do things and you do them whether you like it or not. People who are into the fetish of being submissive let other take charge of them which is why they usually dress as slaves.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think most women are sexually submissive. It the nature of the sex act. Men fuck, women get fucked. They enjoy the thrill of being taken by a man who larger and stronger than them, who craves them and fucks them good. They enjoy being positioned, grasped, pinned, lifted, ravished and plundered. Some even enjoy having their hair pulled or their asses slapped. But they also participate passionately, even ravenously. They fuck back. They WANT that cock.

    Passive implies lying there like a starfish and letting a guy fuck them. They may let him do whatever he wants to them and even do as he asks, but they are not passionate. They don't do it to gratify their own hungry, erotic desire.
    Some women might simply seem passive because they are inexperienced or don't know what to do. They may be inhibited and haven't yet learned how to surrender to their sensory potential. They haven't embraced their inner animal.

  • Passive, is pretty much as what it says on the tin, happy to let other person lead them.

    submissive needs to be divided in to two.

    in a normal relationship at certain times one partner will be more dominant, therefore the other will be submissive to them. This is basically be letting the other person have their say, take charge. It can be in the kitchen say, the better cook will be the dominant person in the kitchen, the other submits to their guidance…

    In another way of being submissive it would be via BDSM.

    first off being submissive does not make a person meek, probably 90% of subs are very confident and strong people, this idea of a timid meek girl is so much bollox.

    within BDSM, there is a strong bond between the Dominant and the submissive, the sub is at times really the person in control. As they have final say as to if it will be done or not.

    • @ pink Anon thank you most appreciated

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 8
  • Passive is apathetic, they exist and nothing more, submissive is willing to obey and eager to please. A passive girl is not engaged with the sex, a submissive one very much is.

  • Passive is him making the moves submissive is you giving yourself to him

  • submissive is meekly obedient or passive while passive is being subjected to an action without producing a reaction.

  • Passive sounds bored/boring, submissive gets turned on by a dominant. Submissive girls are so hot!

  • Passive is being a dead weight, submissive is being a "yes man", but for a lot of people they feel like it's basically the same thing.

  • Oh there is a very big difference. A submissive, in my experience, is never sexually passive. In fact the submissive behavior comes from she/he/they experiencing sexual (and emotional) happiness through the acts of submission towards their Dom/Domme.

  • passive means zero sex life no interest, sub means love to receive, its fun.

  • submissive means how rough he is during sex like slapping her ass, grabbing her hairs, and things like this which BDSM is the extreme version of it
    passive means you have sexual needs but you fail to get laid or get rid of it