What’s with him playing games?

[Anonymous]

So hooked up with this guy 3 times, it’s never been anything more, nor have I made it seem like it is. I enjoy having sex with him and we get on really well in person.

First time we had sex it went on for 3 hours, I then saw him 3 days later and then two weeks later saw him again. When we’re together we get on great and have a good laugh, he always remembers things I’ve said & cares about my orgasm (which is why I like having sex with him!) we’re both very comfortable around eachother & he even said the other night he feels vulnerable with me.

However, over text he plays games & sends mixed messages. For instance, his replies are awful (before they weren’t) but in person he’s great. He will take hours to reply & even did the whole “accidental text” thing the other day which was obvious. I have also messaged him the other day and he never replied. If it wasn’t for how he acted when we were together I would say he’s a 100% not interested but it’s got me confused.

I don’t plan on reaching out again & just gonna cut it lose as I can’t be dealing with the games & mixed signals, especially from someone I just want to hookup with. But my question is why do guys do this? Is it just because he’s not interested anymore, but if so why play games? Or is it some sort of tactic to make me want him more?

[Anonymous]

I was so glad to read that you intend to end things because I was going to suggest it lol. Tbh tho maybe he just wasn’t sure how to navigate a friends with benefits so that it will keep working in his favor. I think men are a lot better at abiding by the rules of that arrangement than most women, because they don’t get as emotionally attached. But they can also really suck at it too because they don’t make their true intentions known and instead string the girl along to keep her for sex. I only say this because this was probably a past experience for him (or more, who knows), and communication keeps the woman happy but it’s not what he really wants, hence him being so wishy washy. Anyway, you’re making a good choice. You don’t want a guy who plays games to get what he wants.

[Liketheview]

I would say that he is enjoying the physical part and not putting any effort into the conversation or you in between as he is just someone who has no ability to be thoughtful or caring unless he is having sex, or he is possibly with someone else and maybe even having sex as well. I wonder when you met up was it at his place by chance. If not there is always the chance he has a significant other either by commitment or marriage. If he doesn't respect woman unless he is having sex this can happen also. Not a memory issue as you said he always remembers things you have said etc. So it is selective on his part and odds are he is using just for sex and probably others as well. Which if that is the agreement that is fine but if he is just being rude in that way then that cheapens it i would say. Best of luck

[Asker]

Yeah only wanted to hookup and nothing more, but at the same time I still want to be respected and treated with decency - just because we’re having a sexual relationship doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be treated with human decency - and my standards go out the window. Which is where I think a lot of guys fuck up in situations like this. It was at his place & I know he doesn’t have a significant other