What’s wrong with me? Am I simply just not able to find the right guy?


27F, been on and off the apps for years. I’ve tried them all, I’m now trying bumble because the guys that have been reaching out to me I wasn’t interested in. The one time I dated a guy for a few months, I wanted it to end because I feel like I settled due to lack of physical attraction. Now, I’ve been on bumble for a brief while and met up with two guys. The first guy seemed to like me but I didn’t like him. I just met up with another guy, we talked for a few hours and he seemed interested in meeting up again. I enjoyed talking to him I’m just not sure if I would want to take it any further, part of me is kind of interested in going out a second time but I remember how I settled for the last guy I saw for a few months. I want the romance from dating, just a little note that I don’t really have sexual desire. I like the thought of intimacy like kissing etc but I don’t masturbate and haven’t had sex in years. Could that contribute to my lack of success? Or am I just not meeting the right guys?
You haven’t met the right person
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You don’t know what you want
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Girl Guy
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • "I don’t really have sexual desire. I like the thought of intimacy like kissing etc but I don’t masturbate and haven’t had sex in years. Could that contribute to my lack of success?"

    Yes, it could. Most people date hoping to find a compatible (and enthusiastic) sexual partner. Your lack of sexual interest will be apparent to most men. They won't reject you because they don't like you, but because you are looking for one thing and they are looking for another.

    What do you want to date men? Do you see yourself living with a man? Married? What would that be like? Are you hoping to meet a man who also has little interest in sex?

    • But sex isn’t even talked about? It’s in the super early stages, it’s more a matter of no connection, they can’t tell anything about sex that soon

    • A man with much experience dating certainly can tell from the woman's body language whether she has carnal interest. If a woman is interested, it's usually obvious from her body language. She moves closer to me. If we're sitting across a table, she will lean in toward me. Her hands will be on the table, not in her lap. She may touch my arm as she is talking to me. Her eyes are focused on me, not looking around the room for something more interesting. On the other hand, if she is leaning back, keeping her hands close to her body, looking around the room (or checking her phone), that's a very strong signal that she's not interested. These signals are so common that women become confused when they are indicating a lack of interest but the man fails to read it and continues to pursue her.

    • Talking about sex on the first date is a bit gauche. It's usually unnecessary as both will tacitly make their interest clear. And of course inviting someone home with you is a clear sign of immediate sexual desire.

Most Helpful Guy

  • this is difficult as, if you dont want to be intermit with men at present (sex), thats going to narrow your range of guys that will be interested. after all part of a relationship is intimacy and sex.

    is there a reason that you do not want to get intermit with someone?

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 9
  • You don’t know what you want.

  • I tried the apps for years. They don't work not one of them. I'm in a similar boat and I can assure you there's nothing wrong with you.

    Whatever you do, don't settle. Everywhere, I see couples who settled and they're all miserable. Keep your standards up.

  • You have unrealistic standards.

  • You don’t know what you want possibly, I know what I want but whenever I like them they don’t like me but I keep trying anyway

  • Just stay single. Get a dog or something.

  • You might have not met the right person yet

  • id say both u not met right one and you dont know truly what you want.

    but life is a journey you should enjoy the ride so enjoy the guys and the sex while u find the one that really works for you as you will learn from each sexual encounter :D

    throw some women in there just for good measure :D

  • I hear you

  • Woman moment