What sexuality am I? How can I make myself straight?

[Anonymous]

Let me start by saying. I genuinely want a monogamous relationship Most bisexual people I know want a monogamous relationship. Bisexuality doesn't necessarily mean the person is polygamous like some people seem to think.

At the same time, since I was 13 (more or less), I knew I was attracted to women. I know I could have a romantic and sexual relationship with a girl. The same thing, but with men, seems less appealing and I dont know why. I don't hate men but being in a relationship with one feels wrong, as if I would be dating him just to fit in and not get disowned. I can find men sexually attractive but mostly when they're not as muscular/buff or masculine (FemBoys). I used to have a lot of "crushes" on men in my early teens but bow looking back, I wouldn't say I was particularly attracted to any of them. I don't know if it's because I needed to know them better or because I was just being "boy crazy" to fit in.

Am I bisexual? How do I fix myself so I can "normal"/Straight?

[MrOracle]

My advice is this: don't be overly concerned with labeling yourself or "committing" to one thing or the other at your age. You probably will find that your feelings change - perhaps several times - over the next few years. I'll give you an example: I knew probably a dozen girls who were bisexual and most of whom dated girls at some point during high school. Nine or ten of that dozen ended up getting into long-term relationships or married to men, and the others eventually came out as lesbians. Again, all of these girls dated both men and women during high school and college-ages, and it wasn't until their early 20s did they really feel confident in knowing what they really wanted.

It's likely that by your early 20s, you'll be ready to "pick a side", OR you'll confidently know that you are bisexual and want to be free to be with both men and women. Prior to that, you probably won't know for sure. Remember, your brain is still developing into your early 20s, so it's not surprising that how you feel is going to change until about then - it's very common, in fact.

Until then, do what feels right. Be smart and make wise decisions, but otherwise, go where your desire takes you, and see how it works out. If you find yourself unhappy, then you have another option to try, so there's no reason to feel you have to make that decision right now.

[DaveJord]

So if you want monogamy then then you are not really Bi-sexual because you have to be with a person who is either opposite sex or same sex.

I am I am heterosexual all the the way, like 100%. But I can look at a man and say he's attractive, but I definitely don't want to have sex with him. That doesn't make me Bi-sexual because I think a guy is attractive.

I think someone or something got in your head when you were younger because now days it seems that kids are being confused about their sexuality too young. Its mostly coming from the LBGTQ community because lots of these adult can not remember a time when they were not gay. Sure it came with some difficulties for them in their adolescent years, but how much is all this helping or further confusing kids today.

Its hard not to be pro-hetero because without it you would not exist on this planet. Either with science or medical help one way or another a man and women make babies and that seems to be the natural course of things.

So honestly I would not jump to any conclusion and give it time, people are in too much of a rush to label themselves one thing or the other at too young an age before they have ever been allowed to figure it out for themselves.

[Asker]

Bisexual just means you like both genders, not that you want to date them both at the same time (that would be polyamory). Thank you for the advice, through, I just wanted to way to think more normally about this stuff. It could've been the LGBTQ stuff going around, you're might be right.

[DaveJord]

True bi-sexual means you like both, and through dating you might feel like messing around with both. But if you want to be monogamous like you stated then you can have both indefinitely, you'll have to settle on one or the other eventually... so your not really bi-sexual your either lesbian or straight. Depending on the day of the week and who you're with... but when you find the one and its monogamous... then you're straight or you're not. Don't over think labels or be so quick to define yourself at your age... its not like you have to make this decision today or right way. All things work themselves out eventually and if you don't know now, I am sure you will know when the time comes. Just keep an open mind about things.

[Little_Bumblebee]

There's nothing wrong with being into women. Do what feels right for you.
You cannot force your sexuality to be something that it's not.

Date whomever you fall for - who falls for you too.
Don't sweat the other stuff, just be true to yourself and accept who you are

[Subarugirl]

Straight is less normal than you might think. From what you have described you are bisexual and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing to fix. Embrace who you are.

[laurieluvsit]

Why would you want to do such a thing and not allow yourself to just be who you are?

[RobT312]

If you are bi and attracted more to women at the moment, then go date a woman. It seems like the normal thing to me that will make you happy. I’m bisexual as well. I like sex with men and women, but I’m more attracted to and have relationships with women. I have never dated a guy but who knows, maybe I will. Just do what works for you.

[dustybiker]

Narrow your focus to being open to finding the one person you want to be faithful with. Or not. Just simplify your thinking.

[Berethor]

Sounds like you more lesbian than straight, and sure there is an cure for that. :)

[Asker]

What's the cure for it?

[Berethor]

I was joking, cure your gays trope, I don't know of a cure, but it sure is a birth defect.

[Asker]

Yeah, I heard that it has to do with prenatal hormones and possibly genetics.

[Berethor]

Yea it similar to what turn people to trans, though it less extreme than being a trans.

[Asker]

Yeah, which is probably why moderate gender dysphoria is more common (especially in gender nonconformist) but not as common as doing trans surgeries and stuff.

[Berethor]

A sexual dysphoria, maybe you got too much testosterone at birth so you attracted to girls.

[Asker]

Maybe, I definitely don't have enough gender dysphoria to do something like that but I'm guessing you're right, just enough sexual dysphoria to like women.

[Berethor]

Yea, and you like femboys because they are similar to women.

[Asker]

But would the femboy thing be because I dont think of them as men or I do still like men, it's just that I also like femboys?

[Berethor]

Hard question, but it seems like you don't think of them as men, and you prefer women.

[Asker]

Alright, thank you. At least now I'm more certain I'm possibly lesbian.

[Berethor]

Glad to help, yea you seems to be mostly lesbian, even your preference in men shows it.

[242plusInfinity]

That could have gone wrong super fast.

[Berethor]

If she was not fully aware that being a queer is not normal then yea.

[Glenn_lawrence]

the question i would like to ask is why do you want to be straight? is it to have a traditional family? why do you want to be straight when you are not attracted to men like you are to women?

[Asker]

Family is part of it. I know the statistics for children raised without a dad are usually bad. Plus, to have children, natural hetero or artificial insemination are needed but I dont want to be poly, much less cheat. Also, I know my family would feel extremely ashamed to be related to me, a few of them wouldn't talk to me if I didn't end up with a man.

[Glenn_lawrence]

here is a nontraditional option but I know several couples who have this dynamic, but have you thought about getting with a couple where you can have the best of both worlds?

[Asker]

I could look into it more, I appreciate the suggestion so thank you so much. I've never heard of relationships like that, does it have a name? Do you think it would be difficult if I tried having only a girlfriend or boyfriend?

[Berethor]

It called a polyamory throuple, seems like good relationship option for many bisexuals.

[Glenn_lawrence]

i think for you it would be better to find a girl you like who also is bi and doesn't mind sharing her boyfriend/husband with her lover. that way your relationship is mainly between you and the girl until you are comfortable with adding the guy in more over time

[Asker]

@Berethor is it usually a closed couple or is it opened with other partners outside of the throuple?

[Asker]

@glenn_lawrence, ok, so in a way it would help me appear straight as if I was dating the guy but I'm actually dating the girl? And later date the guy if I'm interested?

[Glenn_lawrence]

yup that's it

[Berethor]

@Asker it usually a closed, polyamory throuple tied, otherwise it just an open relationship.

[20yearsolder]

There's nothing to fix, you can't control what your sexual preference is or what you're attracted to. The sooner you figure out that other people's opinions don't matter, do what makes you happy. Life's too short to be unhappy

[Agape93]

You don't need to fix yourself because there's nothing wrong with you. Besides, it's not something you can fix, only delude yourself into thinking you have whilst causing quite a bit of mental damage to yourself.

[RealMarek]

You are still young and it is not uncommon for females your age to go through a phase of attraction to other women. It might not last much beyond your teens.

[Zebadee88]

Sound perfectly normal to me. Is anybody completely covered by any label we make up. Sound most likely gay to me. Go find a partner that feels the same

[Havthrills]

Why try to like everyone else? Maybe some of them are the same. You already are normal.

[collie22]

if you want to change then you can. you being bi you could fall for a guy and live happily ever after

[Wise4myage]

I say your bi sexual.

[Valso]

1. There's no such a thing as "becoming straight". That's a religious propaganda intended to hurt every LGBT person. I'm talking about the conversion terapies which do nothing else but to hurt you mentally, quite often physically as well.

2. There's nothing wrong in being bisexual. Being bisexual myself, I admit that sometimes this sexuality can feel like a curse, but despite that I still like it and wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

3. If you feel any arousal by men at all, I'd say you're bisexual. And it seems you like the same type of guys that I do - the feminine type. It's good that we're not part of the same circle of people, otherwise we'd be fighting about femboys all the time. 😁
Also, keep in mind that sexuality can evolve over time, so you may start as a bisexual but become more of a lesbian at some point.

That's all I can say on the matter. As for the rest - that you'll have to figure it out on your own, bc not everything can be told to you by someone else. There are things only you can decide.

[Lunatic1]

You are fine just the way you are. You shouldn't try to fit in just for the sake of it. Be proud of what make you who you are. As for how to "make yourself straight," that isn't something you can really do.

[panamared1]

you are not broken, nothing to fix, if you try you will only be miserable for a lifetime. follow your true feelings

[Bigjake1019]

Nothing wrong with being bi

[Anonymous]

FemBoys 🤮

Go drink some whiskey and put some hair on your chest. 🙄