What should I do, I am pregnant from a 3sum?

I have been in a relationship with a man for 13 years. We wanted to spice up our relationship and had a 3sum with a friend. We all got very wasted, but indeed we had a great time!
Fast forward several weeks later, I miss my period. I didn't think anything of it at first because I thought it was just a little late.
As the weeks process, I start to feel nauseated, my breasts have gotten fuller, and I have abdominal cramps that won't go away so I decide to take a pregnancy test.
It turns out I am pregnant. The guy I've been with for 13 years says he came in my mouth that day. Me and him always use protection so he is positive he didn't get me pregnant.
The other guy, says he didn't cum in me but during the intercourse but I know he did because I haven't had sex with anyone else.
My guy of 14 years wants me to get an abortion and says he will not raise something that isn't his. I feel so emotional because this baby is a part of me. I'm at a lost and could have never imagining myself even considering an abortion.
Updates:
+1 y
I expected judgment when I made this post. Frankly, I am not surprised. I USED protection during this 3sum. It clearly was ineffective. The only way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence. How many of us are? I am not here to debate what I could have done differently, it simply will not change my outcome. I AM PREGNANT! I do not feel good about this. I am crying over this and very hurt. I just want to know what you guys think is the best decision to make. I appreciate the mature responses <3
+1 y
My guy of 13.5 years knows it isn't his because he always ejaculates either on me or inside of my mouth. It definitely is the other guy's baby. I would like to keep my child but he wants me to have an abortion. I found out I was pregnant a few moments before I posted this. I have no one in real life to turn to or to share this news with. I am afraid and emotional.
1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I have known all my life that I never wanted children. I have been with just one person since I was 18. When we started having sex we took precautions upon precautions. Meaning that two forms of birth control were always used. When I turned 37, I was diagnosed with a rare genetic connective tissue disease and that even more so cemented our desire to never have kids. We have been having sex since we were 18 & 19 and NEVER once had a slip up. Even doctors will tell you that the benefits outweigh the risks. Here the risks you assumed were that all birth control has side effects. Well so do condoms and that side effect, no one wants and now you have is a child on the way. I personally don't see how either man could remember in what manner they came especially if every member wasn't of sound mind and body. You really are in a pickle because you had sex with a black man but you have been common law married to your boyfriend for 10 years. I personally am pro choice but in this situation my choice if I were you would be abortion. You need to do it now. Right now the hormones are running rampant throughout your body and those hormones make it difficult to know the correct decision. I challenge you to to think of the implications on this child. Are you prepared to tell this child how they were conceived? Are you prepared to explain that? Are you prepared to go through this pregnancy alone and unsupported? I think the answer is written on the wall and you realize it. If you are going to have an abortion you need to do it in its earliest stages because the longer you wait the more money it will cost.

    • The other guy clearly slipped the condom off at some point. I don't take pills because I know of the long term effects it can have on your body. Perhaps, this is all due to my nursing profession. Even when I am in pain, I stay away from medication. I did not think this would happen, I really didn't. In many years of having sex with my guy, we only have one kid and I've never gotten pregnant because we always use a condom. The other guy clearly slipped it off because he wanted to "feel more". Sadly, this is the outcome it caused. I want to keep my baby but my guy is telling me to abort it.

    • I understand you are in medical field and I am a professional patient with EDS. I was told that EDS patients shouldn't use any form of hormonal birth control as well as IUDs. Had I followed that advice I would have had several autistic kids. I have a friend who I knew she had EDS but had gotten her offical dx. I told her don't have anymore kids. Well her husband pressured her and now they have 3 autistic kids that EDS. The newest kid has very severe autism and is non verbal. Those kids demand more care than she can give, not to mention that her health needs constant attention. I told my husband if I ever got pregnant (which was a slim chance because we always used two forms of bc) that I had no qualms with getting an abortion. Especially you because you are in the medical field. You of all people know that it's a simple medical procedure that gets more involved the longer you wait. Right now you cannot think straight or make sound decisions because that fetus is flooding your brain with all those hormones that tell you that you want to keep these pregnancy. I consider pregnancy a side effect to which you just don't have for 18 years but for life. The obvious answer here is to have an abortion.

    • I am glad you took the proper measures to prevent your pregnancy from occurring. Kids in general are hard to raise. When a kid has special needs it gets even harder. Yes, I know I shouldn't wait to have this abortion but keep in mind this is all new information to me. I found out yesterday (when I made this post) that I am pregnant. I speculated about a week 1/2 ago that I was due to my missed period. But due to both guys telling me they did not ejaculate inside of me I laid the "delay of my period" down to stress since I am a nurse attending nursing school to achieve a higher degree level. As of a few days ago, I started seeing new signs which were: nausea (I can no longer take the scent of most things anymore), and my breasts weekly keep getting fuller and more perky. I do not want an abortion but I have to get it. I knew the other guy for 15 years (since we were teens) and I have not really seen him show any real interest or care about the situation. II don't want to kill my baby but I have to. I have been crying uncontrollably since I found this news out. I am a murderer and. baby killer, and never thought this would happen to me. Thank you for your mature advice. I really appreciate it.

  • Your taking responsibility for this and the haters here are out of line for lecturing you free the fact. Seems like three options, termination, and variations on carrying it to term and either being a single mother or adoption. I think you have gone through all these options in your head and know the pros and cons of each, and hormones aren’t helping either. It’s not easy to be objective, and there’s a lot of emotion to go with it. All I can offer you is a hug and hope that you will do what’s right for YOU.

Most Helpful Guys

  • That sounds like a very tough spot.

    My first advice would be that this is YOUR decision to make. You can and should take input from those who are important to you and directly involved, but only you get to make this decision.

    Secondly, talk to a doctor, there are ways of telling who is likely to be the father after a certain point in the pregnancy. Would his opinion change if the pregnancy was a result of him? And would he not consider thinking of the child as adopted to him if he is not the father?

    Thirdly, don't rush or beat yourself up about this. You already have enough stress and pressure on you, take care of yourself make sure you have enough support in your life, be that boyfriend or other family or friends.

    Should you choose to abort, don't beat up on yourself, that is a very tough decision. You are making that decision because it is best for those involved.

    Should you not abort, also don't beat up on yourself, that too is a very hard decision, it will change your life forever.

    I hope you give yourself space to make this decision without beating up on yourself. Good luck.

  • 1. How wasted were u during that.. how much do u remember of that night.
    2. If the other guy used protection and didn't cum in u, why being so sure it is his.
    3. Even using protection can lead to pregnancy. It could very well be your bfs.
    4. If you feel like it.. u can follow me back and we can have a mature discussion about it..

    • Hi, My guy says he took off the condom and ejaculated in my mouth. The only option is the other guy, He probably came in me but doesn't remember. Through this ordeal he hasn't even shown me any support. Before this, he was texting and calling me all of the time. I may have to have an abortion. I don't want to but I'm going to live a hard life if I don't.

    • Your guys says? You don't remember if someone cums in your mouth? You are making this up as you go along. I'm out of here and don't wish to hear any more of your trolling for kicks.

    • @Daniela1982 I stated in this post I was intoxicated. He actually had to tell me about the sex. I’m not here to prove myself to you. If you believe I’m telling the truth , great. If you don’t then goodbye. I’m looking for those who are willing to give helpful advice not someone playing detective.

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 16
  • I am not here to preach but should you not have taken the fact that you can get pregnant into consideration when doing that kind of stuff?

    Since both of you wanted "spice", you got it now and both of you need to take your responsibility. You should take a DNA paternity test to see who is the lucky winner.

    Now, you better make sure that you don't let yourself be pressured into an abortion by either one. Whoever is the biological father will have to support you financially, whether he likes it or not.

    You all bear your share of responsibility in that adventure of yours since all of you were consensual and knew very well what the consequences could be.

    • Even if one sexual partner, pregnancy is a possibility. I used protection and didn't think this would happen.

    • What kind of protection did you use? Birth control or condom? The condom could have bust or had a micro tear if your vagina was not lubricated enough.

    • Condoms.

    • Show All
  • Contact the National Right to Life and you will have someone to talk to.

    https://www.nrlc.org/

    PLEASE DON'T KILL YOUR BABY... PLEASE!

  • Simple, have a paternity test done. That should tell you who the dad is.

    • I know who the dad is. It isn't my guy of 13 going on 14 years. He said he ejaculated in my mouth and he is 100 percent sure. He said he would be happy if it were his but he knows its not.

  • If you are truly against an abortion, ask your guy how he would feel about you carrying to term and giving it up for adoption. But if you have this child, you may ruin your relationship and you will be a single mother. You should weigh your options and go from there

  • Have an abortion.

  • Get an abortion

    • Why?

    • Easiest option. Nobody wants to own up? Cool, they can’t complain then.

  • Dont listen to the fool. Dont let a man dictate your decision. Yeah I get he doesn't want another mans baby. But why kill it if you want your baby. he's being unreasonable. Having sex and threesomes those things happen.
    Wish you the best of luck. I hope you dont kill your baby because of your man being a fool.

  • This is one of the most pathetic posts I've seen on here.

    • Things happen in life. Whether you feel they are pathetic or not. It's great to see you haven't ever made any poor judgments in your life and its 100 percent.

    • That's the thing, I have and this shit even looks pathetic to me.

    • So does your judgmental attitude. Now that we've both established what looks pathetic to us. Lets move on.

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  • Probably should've been on the pill if you're gunna do things like that

    • Pills, have a lot of horrible side effects.

    • Actually not a tin. Plus not everyone expierence them. My girlfriend didn't have any when she got on birth control

    • Iud then lol pick whatever birth control you like

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  • Should have thought about that before having a drunk threesome with unprotected sex huh. Way to keep polluting the gene pool, thanks 👍🏻

    • I knew I would be judged by a asshole. Not surprised. Thanks for your helpful advice.

    • You sure I'm really the asshole here? You created a new helpless human being with someone who isn't even your partner and from the product of a selfish drunk sexual experience...🤔

    • We've had other threesomes with this guy. We were all responsible enough to use protection. Even if I were to have sex with just ONE guy, there Is a possibility of me becoming pregnant. Abstinence is the only way. How many people are abstinent? Not many. There's risk in sex no matter what. Now if you want to judge me for being human and having sex, then feel free to do so. That doesn't make me less of a person especially when I tried to prevent this from happening by using protection.

  • If you keep it, it will ruin your relationship.
    If you two valued your relationship you wouldn't be doing threesomes in the first place, so go ahead and keep it and end your relationship if you want. You can't have both and you know it.

    • My guy suffers from erectile dysfunction, I went many years without being pleased and not stepping out of our relationship. He wanted to make me happy because he knew it wasn't fair to me. We both value our relationship. Someone wanting to do that doesn't mean that. You have to know the entire circumstance.

  • I know you said you can't imagine considering an abortion but from the underlying emotion in your post, it sounds like you aren't currently prepared to reproduce and bring a new person into the world. If you aren't capable emotionally, and especially financially, then you should consider all your options. But just know that adoption is not particularly effective and the system is completely clogged from too many kids and not enough people wanting them.

    • I have a 10 year old child and I am nurse. So that's far from the truth.

    • Gross

    • I hope you somehow feel better being a judgmental person. I am a human-being who used protection with her man of more than a decade and unfortunately this is what resulted. I am not sure how this in any way erases all the great I've done in my life and makes me a horrible person. You're a piece of shit and it's clear to see.

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  • Girl 😐😐😐

  • This story has Dr. Phil Or Murray written all over it.

    maybe you will get lucky and have a mixed litter

    • Shame on your cuckass boyfriend

    • Jerry springer 🤘🏻 lol

  • Wow. Im sorry to hear that. How does he know for sure it's not his. Dna testing will confirm that one. I wish you luck and i hope you get the support you need in whatever you decide. *hugs*

    • My guy knows it's not his because he always pulls out before ejaculating and cums either on me or in my mouth. He said he would be happy if it were his but he knows 100 percent sure it isn't. He wants me to get an abortion. I found out that I was pregnant today.

    • What do you want to do? Technically it is your and the other guys baby. Your boyfriend has no say.

    • I want to keep the baby. But I am afraid of how I will look to my family and other people. The guy is a different race and everyone will know its not my long term partners' baby. I will get a reputation of being a whore. This is just horrible altogether and I wish the 3sum never happened. My guy suffers from ED and most of the times cannot perform unless he takes viagra. He did this to make me happy but it pretty much backfired. I may have to have an abortion but I don't feel like I can live knowing I killed my own blood. I honestly feel like dying right now.

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  • Who would share his woman with other man anyway? Your boyfriend is a c*nt.

    • Sounds like a troll to me as they usually are by Xper 1

    • @Daniela1982 Yes you might be right.

    • Especially when they make a point of him cumming in their mouth.

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  • You should study up on how to be a good mother.

    • How does that even answer my question? Here goes another judgmental prick.

  • HAHAHAHAHA

  • Statistics

  • Keep it and dump the losers. Be a proud single mother who is not afraid to do what she needs and wants.

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