What should I do when my insecurities keep me from having sex with my boyfriend?

I’m so insecure about my body that I am still a virgin and I feel like in all my relationships me being insecure and not letting the relationship grow with sex is part of why we break up and I get cheated on.
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Superb Opinion

  • You are still young and learning about relationships.

    try and disconnect the whole sex and relationship side of things.

    guys will try and push for it, however wait until you are more settled with yourself.

    the important thing is getting confidence in who you are.

    for starters, you say relationships, this means that guys do like you.

    build up the positives about yourself, think positive things about who you are as a person.

    avoid the social media idea of perfection, it’s bollox.

    sit down with your mum, sister etc and have a chat about your insecurities.

    if they are bad, talk to a counsellor.

    Also if even thinking about sex, book in for a sex Ed with a decent health centre. ( county you are in likely plays a part).

    • That’s what I’ve always done but me almost being 18 in a few weeks stresses me. I feel they expect us to be sexually active when in a relationship at 18

    • Here in UK everyone assumes everyone over 16 is sexually active and about half under 16 are. Fuck knows what reality is for it. But everyone is different, different pressures, different expectations. As I said originally learn to love your body, accept it and be happy with what you have. Once you get that sorted (no it’s not easy) then your confidence will grow. Irrespective of age, don’t just have sex because it’s expected of you, wait until you are comfortable and can relax in to it. Doing it when you are not, can ruin what is a lovely thing to do

Most Helpful Guy

  • If a guy just cares for sex then it's not worth the time and especially giving him your most precious title away. Wait to find a guy that's willing to spend the rest of his life with you and marry him. Waiting til marriage is tough but such a blessing from God. Plus if he's willing to be with you til then then he won't be ashamed or care what you think your body looks like. He would love every inch of skin you show him. God made all things good and beautiful. Dont let a pig headed guy break your heart because you don't spread your legs. And if you can't wait then turn the lights out or make him wear a blindfold whatever makes you more comfortable. Although if he likes your body with clothes on he will also like it with them off!

Most Helpful Girl

  • You are young, hun. Your body is beautiful but you have the rest of your life to have sex. Enjoy being a kid.

    • Yeah I kno I’m almost 18 tho so I know being in a relationship the guy is gonna expect us to also have a sexual relationship as well and I’ve been cheated on for not being ready to do things

    • That makes sense. I remember that. You have to go at your own pace and what makes you comfortable. Being sexually vulnerable with someone is a little scary at first. But I’m sure he will love you body. And once you get more comfortable and relaxed it gets a lot better.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 9
  • Your still under 18. Your fine. Believe in yourself, get comfortable with you body, give it some time and you'll have sex too.

  • What are you specifically concerned about? Naming your fears is the first step toward getting past insecurities.

  • Not trolling you. What's wrong with your body?
    One way to get through it is to be intimate in total darkness.

  • You keep finding the wrong people.

  • you shouldn't be having sex for two reasons

    1. you're under 18

    2. it's a pandemic

    ok, i lied, 3 reasons

    you shouldn't be having a boyfriend under 18

    • 😂 um... u don’t have to be 18 to date.

    • Pandemic has nun to do with it. And I’m not tryna have sex before 18 anyway because im not no fast ass child. I was asking for when I turn 18

  • There’s no rush and if u r not ready for sex u can just not do it or do other things instead

  • Your still under 18 and you shouldn't be rushing anything sex related. If they can't wait for you to be ready then they weren't the right on for you to be with anyway.

    • I’ll be 18 very soon and I feel it’ll be expected in a relationship that we are sexually active that’s why I’m worried.

    • Sex is never expected in a relationship, if they expect sex and don't respect until your ready then they aren't for you. Its that simple.

  • Wait until you are married. You are better off waiting.

  • that's part of having a boyfriend. If the sex isn't there I would expect the relationship to simply stay friends or some guys would just walk away.