Sexual Relationships
1 y

What to do about sex?

I rarely ever want to have sex with my boyfriend anymore because of the way he treats me. I know sex is important in relationships, especially to a lot of guys. However, I just find myself pulling away from his touch most of the time now. Sex is all about him, he’s gotten mad before when I mentioned I want more foreplay (he often wants to jump immediately into penetration) and wouldn’t put forth the effort. He’s never made me orgasm in the nearly 8 years we’ve been together. I also feel as if he uses me for sex, as that’s when he treats me the nicest and then right after, he often goes back to ignoring me. I’ve asked him for more of his attention and non-sexual affection for months now, to no avail. It makes me incredibly sad and disappointed. I’m the type of person that needs a strong emotional connection before I can be intimate with someone, which he has known from the beginning. I try to talk to him, but he doesn’t listen. Because of this, I’ve gotten to where I rarely ever want sex, even though I feel I’m supposed to, to satisfy him.

Thoughts? Thanks so much in advance.
0 1

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • I think you just described eight out of every ten men and you went out of percent right sex is very important it's also very important to both people. And what sucks is that you just described a very selfish lover there's not even a lover I don't think I'm with you I need foreplay I need passion desire but I'm the one that used to give that and that's okay by me because I want to make it all about her the more I can get her turned on the more I get turned on and it just keeps building and building. I'm single right now but if I can't do all the above there's not even worth it to me I like Marathon and I love pleasing. Yeah I don't know what you can do about that if you have talked to him over and over about it and if he still wants to be selfish that's just fucked up. And to be honest I really can't even give you any advice because mine would be negative advice I mean he needs to please you quit thinking about himself is what I say doesn't he understand the door he pleases you, the better it's going to be for him. Yes to make it good for you before it's going to be good for him that's just common sense

Most Helpful Guy

  • No, you’re not supposed to. You’re not supposed to satisfy him. There is no rule. You decide to do that. He decided not to satisfy you.

    This is not a question about sexuality. This is about relationships, and even about abuse. He doesn’t respect you. He exploits your feelings of obligation for his benefit only, without care for you.

    I wouldn’t find it surprising if you decided to move on. You are enduring pain and lack of respect. It will feel better to distance yourself from this. I’m not sure there is a way to work it out because you already tried to talk.

    • This is essentially what I was going to say. Asker, this is less about sex and more about a lack of respect and communication. You are not wrong to feel upset and angry. My advice: tell your boyfriend that the two of you either need to get into relationship counselling (and he'll need to fully participate), or you need to break up. Your relationship is already in the Danger Zone, so if there's any hope of saving it, you need a third party who can hold both of you accountable for your part in this (and you probably have some responsibility here too, so be ready to deal with that and accept it). If he's not willing to go and to participate, then just break up, because it's not sustainable, and the sooner you end it, the sooner you can get your life back on track.

    • I would move on too and I would've moved on a long time ago in her shoes I would have moved on.

    • @randobrodo fair point but remember that people in abusive relationships (this could qualify as one, given the few details we know) don’t always have the means to move on when they would like to. Maybe they depend on the relationship for other needs (financial but also emotional) and maybe they are too socially isolated to feel safe without a partner. Not saying this is the case but I want to suggest caution before saying “I would have moved on”.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Relationships are a two way street. If he's not meeting your emotional needs after you've talked to him about it multiple times, it might be better to just move on. I was in a relationship like yours... one that was all about him all the time. I told him so many times how I felt, what I needed, etc. and nothing ever changed. I finally broke up with him after 5.5 years, and I slowly started to feel happy again. I lost so much time and so much of myself in that one-sided relationship.

  • Thoughts are that he is a selfish lover, and you should NEVER feel pressured or like sex is a chore.
    Bring it up again. If he gets angry again, or ignores your views, then get the fuck out and find someone who respects you as a sexual PARTNER, not object. Good luck.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 16

  • Then leave him? Sounds pretty shitty tbh

  • This is a very bad relationship, if you can even call it that. You need to do yourself a favour and get out of it and find yourself some who actually gives a damn about you, because he clearly doesn't and is just using you. Have some self respect, move on before it's too late.

  • What to do? Find a different boyfriend. Why are you still with him if you are "incredibly sad and disappointed?"

  • Sounds like you need to have a serious talk with him about all your issues. If that fails, consider dumping him.

  • Find another guy who will feel what you need and provide it.

  • You need to find a man that puts your sexual satisfaction above yours.
    You are supposed to satisfy each other.
    I am sorry that you found a narcissist.

  • You want to feel loved, respected
    But all he does is to get horny, not show you how he likes you, but only being nice to you when he is horny
    But after having sex and cumming, he becomes same person which doesn't respect
    When he gets horny, he becomes nice till cumming
    Right?

    • You should break up Cause u need love, u need to be cared, loved.. Every guys fuck, but not every guys love U should have a man that loves you And making love is important Im like i like making love more than sex I dont like being in rush to penetrate Also girls need it too :)

  • I think you should find nee partner. he is an selfish asshole





  • It shouldn't really work that way. Sex should be wonderful for both of you. If he doesn't even listen to what you want then just keep it from him. Difficult situation. Either you buy yourself a nice toy, which is actually not the solution. Or you try to tell him again that the relationship doesn't make you happy if he doesn't listen, sorry, but then kick him out. then you are too good for him. Then he should go to a hooker.

  • New boyfriend is only answer. he's a selfish prick. Dump him you deserve so much more

  • Time to move on and dump him. You deserve better and need someone more sexually compatible

  • I would break up. It has nothing to do with a nice relationship

  • If he doesn't treat you right he doesn't deserve you.

  • all i heard was you complaining. so let me ask you this why are you with him still if you're not satisfied or happy with him?

  • After 8 long years... if it were me I wouldn't have stayed in that relationship for even longer than a week. Good luck to you and God bless.

  • Honestly, time to move on. There’s someone else out there that would treat u so much better and give u what u want and more.

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