What would you do if your crush was in love with a woman who is not a nice person and how would you show him that he has another option to choose?

[Nicki82]

So, I have a crush on my guitar teacher but I never told him. He is 5 years younger than me, I take private lessons so there isn't really any legal or ethical issue... except the fact that he recently met someone with whom he fell in love instantly. I learned from our common social circle that this woman is what we say "bitchy" and when he brought her to meet his friends they kind of disapproved her, because of her horrible behavior. I had a chance to meet her, while we were talking at a concert with my teacher and suddenly she almost threw herself at him and started kissing in front of me, without even say "Hi, my name is...(something)". She had a kind of a horny, crazy look in her eyes and after I left them for 10 minutes they were still kissing. She seemed possessive to me and not at all nice, she was looking kind of a "dark personality".

The thing is I really wanted to have a chance to reveal my feelings, but I thought it would be wiser to take it slow and see if they were mutual, so I won't get hurt. Now that my crush is with someone else and pretty much in love, I know there's no point to tell him anything. But it's just that I care for him, because he is a very nice guy and he has been hurt in the past by women of the same kind- hot and sexy on the outside but "bitchy" inside. He also suffers from depression and from my personal experience I know how easy it's for someone in that mental state to be in a toxic relationship without even noticing it. He had been single for about two years after his last relationship and dated casually living the life of a bachelor.

I only wish for him to find happiness, but I am also worried that he'll get hurt again and I would like to make him see that there is someone else who is interested romantically in him. It's just that I am the opossite of "bitchy"- sweet, caring and handsome but no "sex bomb"...

If his relationship won't last, what's the best way to show him my interest?

[hyperben]

you got to let it go, a woman like that is super adept at making you look like a villain, you will end up looking like you see her, crafty narcissistic people like that engineer the situation to make themselves appear to be the victim

[Nicki82]

I won't do anything right now, he seems to be in love and even his best friend's advice to stay away from her didn't convince him... But there has been 5 days since they've known each other and I am thinking that sooner or later it will show if she is a nice or an awful person. Maybe then I could tell him about my feelings (if they still exist), but not without having prepared the ground first... I mean, he is someone that I also care about, I couldn't just "let it go" if I knew he is not happy.

[hyperben]

got what you mean yeah! just try to be patient and wait, these kinds of people always (normally) expose themselves for who they are soon enough and dissapear like a fart in the wind

[Nicki82]

Thank you hyperben! From my own experience narcissistic people can manipulate you for years, but they must find fertile ground- like when you are a depressed person or have low self-esteem and you desperately need someone to love and love you back. The man that I am talking about seems to go from a casual relationship to another, after being hurt from his last serious relationship that lasted 7 years. He had a difficult life because he had to work by the age of fourteen to support his family when his father died and he never stopped taking responsibilities for everything and everyone... He seems to have a descent personality and this is why I was troubled when my friend told me the same thing as you, that "I will have to turn into a bitch if I want to get him". But then, how would I show him that he has another, different choice?

[hyperben]

when the time is right, he will see and he will understand that there are different, better (you!) choices that make total sense, you might need to be a master of patience and be prepared to pick up the broken pieces along the way but stay true to yourself, the rest will happen by itself, im a stranger rooting for you and hopeful of a positive outcome!

[Nicki82]

Thank you very much! 🙂🙏

[Guy13]

It’s too bad…. a bad situation. Can’t do anything about it but watch it play out and crash 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Brad951]

U ever wear sexy outfits to the lessons?

[Anonymous]

Start flirting with him and don't be afraid to be a bit suggestive.