What would you do if your parent was keeping tabs on you?

Recently I’ve found out that my dad has been keeping track of all of my online activity. He’s been paying someone at his job to stalk all of my social media accounts to see what I post, what I talk about, and stalk my online purchases. Even sex toy and fetish purchases. He has screenshots of my accounts and photos of everything on his laptop. He has information about me over the span of 8 years, so this isn’t something new that he’s started doing, but I’ve just found out about it.

I’m really disturbed. I haven’t confronted him about it yet, because I don’t know how. In the last 4 years our father/daughter relationship has become really good, I’m worried that if I confront him about this then our good relationship will crumble and go back to how it used to be.

What advice can you give me?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well since it's has been 8 years that means he started when you were 13 which I understand at the time, he was being a protective father making sure you were safe online and no old creeps were talking to you.

    I'm not saying it's right but maybe he didn't want to stop being a safety parent. Maybe after 16-18 he should of stopped but maybe also he liked getting to know you and find out stuff that he prob should of already knew by this keeping tabs on you and think of good presents to buy or good conversations to have with you.

    It's not right though that he's keeping tabs on you especially at your age but now you know you can be wary of what you say on your social media and chats and Amazon stuff.

    What I'd suggest to try is find a tech friend you know to see if they can block this tech guy your dad has. Also don't go on your house WiFi or family mobile data plan if you have one for any personal time, that's prob how he's tracking your activity and also log out of your Google account too, they can track what you search.

    Or use it to your advantage and write stuff you want your dad to hear

  • Wait, you’re really 21? It’s really easy. You change your passwords to EVERYTHING. And yes, you confront him. That’s an extreme violation of your privacy.

    • What do I even say to him? “I know that you’ve been stalking me and it’s really creepy, can you stop?”

    • It's never good to be accusatory to people. It causes them to get defensive. I'm not sure how you found out about his stalking but say it like this: "Hey dad, I was looking on your computer and saw how you've been tracking all my online activities. I am really hurt that you would violate my privacy like that. I am an adult, now and need to be respected as one. IF you want to keep us in this good place in our relationship, I need you to start respecting me as a woman and respect my privacy and boundaries. I'm not sure what all you do to keep track of me, but I need it to stop immediately."

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 12
  • Ask him about it after telling him you noticed what you thought was a random stalker. See what he says and take it from there.

  • Hi, Dad!

  • I'd prolly outsmart them if not the child support

    • then child helpline*

    • or call cops or smth I don't know how that works my parents were chill

  • Purposely alter your online presence to the opposite it has been and have some fun, use a incognito browser, or get a good vpn to do the things you want to do.

  • They didn’t and I got in trouble

  • I'll play along and give him some content. "I am being followed so Imma give him a show" that's all he gets at the dinner table.

  • Disconnect from him, he sounds like a right control freak,,,

  • It's their job for your well being. You are who you are because of them only.
    Once parents see the maturity in their kids, they stop it.

    • I don’t think you fully grasp what he’s been doing and what I described. I’m almost 22. I’m not a child. It’s creepy and obsessive.

    • Then he certainly doesn't think you are mature enough. Age doesn't define maturity

    • And that makes it okay to do what he’s doing? I don’t think so. I can’t think of any good reason for a father to have screenshots and photos of sex toys and fetish gear that his daughter has been purchasing as an adult.

    • Show All
  • Just casually mention that he should stop, a good dad would say "Oh, you knew? Alright, sorry about that"

    • He’s more so the type to get really defensive and angry and somehow twist the situation to make it my fault.

    • It's this or getting police involved, so talking about it is still the best option.

  • Sometimes you need to confront the parental unit. Tactfully ask him to stay out of your personal life. None of his business. The only thing I'd question does he pay for your expenses?

    • No he doesn’t, I’ve financially supported myself for the last 10 years.

  • I understand his need to protect you, but you're 21. What he is doing is a crime. It has to STOP NOW!

  • don't use any wifi in the house when you are using your cell and turn off the location and create a new email addresses

  • ask him why he is doing that? tell him ur not a kid yet.. talk to ur dad with respect and tell him to stop that cuz its ur privacy...

  • I think he just curious about keep u safe

    • I thought that too but he’s crossed the line between keeping me safe and being super creepy.

    • You are 21, what do you even know about creepy? You must have learned that from your friends

    • Maybe u right

  • Have you ever sent nudes? If so, do you think he's seen you in those pictures since he has everything on his laptop?

    • Yeah most likely. Wouldn’t surprise me at this point.

  • you need to get a restraining order on that psycho