What would you recommend to those who want to have first sex? How do I know if I'm ready for it?

[Anonymous]

I don't have a boyfriend and would it be wrong to do it with someone I talked to online?

[darealmvp2015]

Maybe an unpopular opinion here, but I personally think that if you want to do it with someone you have been talking to online, go for it. If you want to do it with someone you met yesterday, go for it. If you want to do it with your best guy friend, go for it.


The part that in my opinion is important on a much bigger level is that before you do it with anyone, you are fully aware of several things and you have been open and honest with yourself when answering a few questions.


1. Be sure you’re fully aware that the first time you have sex will be a bit weird. You aren’t going to be great at it. It’s probably at times going to be awkward. To put it simply, it will be NOTHING like the sex you have seen in movies, on tv, and certainly not in porn. Don’t go in expecting it to be and you won’t be too disappointed when it isn’t!


2. Ask yourself, and be honest with yourself; are you the kind of person who really truly wants to have a strong connection with a person you’re dating? Is it the idea of sex in general that turns you on? Or is it more the idea of sharing that connection with a person you care for and who cares for you? Either answer is more than fine, but for some people, it’s difficult to compartmentalize sex because we’re often taught that intimacy and love have to be intertwined. For others, like myself, sex can simply be just sex. You need to be completely sure that you’re not going to set yourself up to get hurt if whoever you decide to be with is like me and is fine with just sex and therefore that’s all you get from him.


3. Are you sure you do understand the risks associated with having sex? Are you willing to accept the risks? What is the level of risk you’re willing to put up with? What I mean by that is that obviously sex is inherently a risky activity. You could get pregnant, you could contract a sexually transmitted disease, or you could get hurt emotionally in the process. There are ways to lessen the risks but with those come some trade offs. The chance of pregnancy and stds can be greatly lessened with the use of condoms, but they definitely make sex a bit less pleasurable. Are you willing to make that trade off or is that a risk worth taking? If it is, are you on birth control as a precaution against the pregnancy possibility? It’s always obviously the best bet to be as safe as possible when you decide to do it. That way you won’t wind up in a bad spot with no clue what to do.


4. Are you excited to have sex for the first time with whoever the person is? Often times this is the step that’s the easiest to look past but it really is the most important one. If you have thought it through and you have decided that it’s time to finally do it, that’s awesome and I support that fully and completely, but please make sure that you are truly excited (and maybe a bit nervous, but that will pass) to do it and that you are really excited to get to do it with whomever you plan to do it with. Try not to think too much about whether or not you are doing things right, or well, or how you look doing something. It’s not important. Just try to enjoy the experience for what it is, and know that it typically will only get better from here so if you find that you liked it, you’ll likely very much enjoy the future sexual endeavors even more!






Do what you know is best for you and your well-being and you will be just fine no matter what you choose. Don’t think too much about it being “the first time”. People put too much value into the ‘first time’ and it creates an unnecessary and harmful obstacle to effective communication regarding sex and the realities of it.




That’s my long winded opinion! Haha hope that was a good enough answer! Good luck!

[RealMarek]

You would be well advised to wait to have sex until you are so confident you are ready to have sex that you don’t need to ask strangers on the internet how to know if you’re ready to have sex. Also, for most people it is more fulfilling to wait until you are in a healthy committed relationship. It is safer that way too.

[SeriouslyFunny00]

Just here to read tips as well, lmao

But as far as I know, if you're planning to meet someone from online.. you have to get to know them first. Have some dates before intimacy. This is just my personal opinion, but it's still up to you girl. Keep safe!

[purplepoppy]

It's not wrong just bloody stupid. People lie their asses off online. You really don't want to trust someone you met online to pop your cherry.

[Daniela1982]

If you need to ask others if you are ready, then you aren't.

[summiter]

Wait for the right guy at the right time in your life. No need to rush things. Just enjoy masturbation till the time is right.

[JPresidente]

You may be too young. Don't rush it and wait for the right person who has good morals and judgement and that you have feelings for. Otherwise, you're tossing away your V card for something you may regret later. Also, there is the risk of STD and pregnancy.

[peterrezeeek]

yes it's wrong

[FireFox001]

You do it with whomever you want.

[User_69]

You should date with someone then spend time with him then if you feel like you want to do that you can. Trust you emotions.

[Anonymous]

As long as you are safe and want it just enjoy it.