When did you discover your sexuality? How did you confirm it, or did you need to confirm it to know for sure?

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  • I'm straight. I didn't ever question that growing up. Now do keep in mind, that it was taken for granted that everyone would be straight. It was not like it is today (not nearly to the same extent anyway) where young people are encouraged to explore.

    So I think (and I know from a specific conversation with one buddy who came out as gay in grade 9) that guys my age were more..."assumed to be straight" and so were forced into that expectation a lot more.

    So I think that would have kept a lot of people from exploring when they otherwise would have (if they were born 20 years later. like you). Basically, unless you really felt like straight didn't fit you... a lot of the guys would have just repressed any desire to explore (if they were mostly straight).

    Keeping all of that in mind. For me, I never questioned it simply because I was never at odds with those expectations of being straight.

    I can remember having minor pre-crush-type-feelings for little girls my age when I was in the 2nd grade. And I had my first real crush (which was pretty intense actually) when I was in the 4th grade. I could still tell you her name today.

    From then on... my life was basically being attracted to girls, and usually having either a girlfriend or a girl I really liked at any given point.

    I never questioned whether I had the "expected" feelings for girls. I knew damn-well I had them. If anything they were all-consuming. That girl named Ashley, in the fourth grade... man... she was all I thought about. At school, at home all the time. I knew I was "liking girls" the way I was "supposed to." So there was never any real questioning.

    And I just never was attracted to guys. They were my friends. They were gross as fuck. I never had any romantic or sexual feelings for guys. That might be in part to the wall guys put up (things were legit pretty homophobic). But I grew up not understanding how girls liked boys because boys were so gross and just... you know your buddies.

    I kinda still feel that way about how women are attracted to men. I don't know why. I'm glad they are. But I have no idea why. Like I know what women like. I'm just fucking glad I'm not having to have sex with men. The idea is not appealing. (to me)

    So for me sexuality was extremely straightforward (pun!). Sexuality was literally something I didn't ever think about. Never questioned. It was very-much a non-issue in my life. At any point really. I knew when I was like 8 that I liked girls... and have liked girls then women as I got older. Guys never appealed to me. Either sexually or romantically.

    So for some people it's very straightforward. But It's certainly not straightforward for everybody. I think it's great that young people are able to explore the way they are today. The social acceptance of LGBTQ identities/sexualities is so different from even 20 years ago.

    It sounds like for you it's not as straightforward. Or you wouldn't be asking this. That just means you're in the process of discovering it. But you don't have to decide right? You can leave it up-in-the-air for now, and experiment/explore with whatever seems right at the time... and don't worry too much about defining exactly what your sexuality is.

    Your sexuality is whatever it is (and turns out to be). Trying to be able to put the correct word to it... isn't all that key. I mean, I'm sure it is on some level in terms of how you see yourself. This is where I have trouble due to my lack of experience here. What I'm trying to say is just do some exploring and figuring before you rush to decide. You don't have to have the right word for it yet. Just go with the flow for now. Good luck🙂

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you just have to go with your gut, go with your feelings and give things a try. I had this desire to have sex with women and went for it and had a lot of sex. That’s how I knew.
    Nothing wrong with exploring to find out either ….. fast forward 10 years , at 30 , I was in a threesome in bed with a dude and was attracted to him. Made me realize I could have sex with guys too

Most Helpful Girls

  • 17, went to prom with my best friend. One thing lead to another and I left with a girlfriend. Things just evolved from there.

    • Lesbian? Bi?

    • Bisexual

    • Nice! :)

  • I knew by the time I was 12. No need to confirm anything.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 4
  • When i was six and was crushing on teen-age girls.

  • I had a wet dream after I saw a girl shower naked and love on herself a bit. I was sexually curious before but after that there was no doubt.

  • God made me a male. Story over.

  • 10 or 11

  • Always knew I was straight. Never needed to confirm it.