When guys want to see if they’re sexually compatible with a girl. Do they mean certain sex positions or what she feels like inside?

Question

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

Well, to put it kind of crudely…. it’s in large part “what do you do?”

We all have our turn-ons and turn-offs, and not all sex is the same. For some, there are kind of defined sexual roles in terms of being dominant or submissive or in between. It might be specific kinks you’re into. It could just be low and high libido stuff, just the frequency.

I’ve been with my lady a long time now, but we did briefly split up maybe ten or so years ago, and I was talking to another girl. We never hooked up due to some timing/situational stuff, she had a boyfriend and lived across the country, but both situations were changing, so she was heavily flirting while still trying be respectful of her soon-to-be-ended relationship, at least physically. Anyway, one night when she had a good amount of alcohol in her, she alluded to being into rape fantasies. I love my girl to pieces, but this other gal is, not “the one who got away”, but the “what if?”, or “in another universe…” girl. But when I have those thoughts, I remember that we never even hooked up, and as hot as this chick was, and as much as I probably would’ve indulged her just to sleep with her, I don’t think I’m into the idea of fake-raping anyone. That is decidedly NOT HOT, to me. We don’t kink shame here, if you like fake-rape, may your days and nights be filled with it🙏 But WhiteSteve is not your guy for the job. So I always remember that if I never picked the phone back up for my girlfriend and saw where the other thing went, maybe I would’ve gotten ankle-deep before realizing I don’t want to be committing fake-rape on a near-daily basis, lmao, we ultimately wouldn’t work out, and I’d have lost the right gal forever.

My lady and I…. good lord, we get after it with the best of them, but when I hear what other people are into, I wonder if we’re just high-quality vanilla ice cream😂 Especially these days, we got people out here eating ass on the first date, lmfao. I don’t know anything about that Rocky Road😝

But I feel like she and I are very compatible. We go hard at what we do, but we have pretty much the same boundaries. Or maybe it’s better said that our respective desires don’t breach our respective boundaries. Like I don’t think we’ll ever get into butt stuff. I feel like that’s kind of a common point of disagreement in relationships, haha. She doesn’t want it done to her, but I don’t want to do it to her anyway. Most of her “don’ts” would be fairly extreme, butt stuff being something more commonplace. Most of my desires or kinks I’d say are pretty normal, I don’t think I’m into anything out of the ordinary. She likes to buy little themed outfits and do roleplay type stuff, and I’m just neutral on the roleplay, but I am HERE for the costumes, lmao. Plus I know I’m getting her A-game those times, it’s not the “ok, I’m tired and want to go to sleep but I’m also kind of horned up, so let’s make this quick” kind of sex. She’s willing and able to do any of your standard stuff, she brings pretty good enthusiasm, and she’s, errr…not squeamish at the finale😅, so she’s a very good time, as far as my tastes go.

So I think it’s kind of like that, me with my girlfriend vs me and potentially that other gal, or this chick I used to hook up with in my early 20s, and she wanted me to choke her and slap her around and stuff. Whatever blows your dress up, get after it, but again, that’s just not my groove. I can do it, but it’ll be kinda weird for me, so I’d rather be with someone who is into the same stuff I am.

Jaarraduun · Accepted Answer

I can't speak for other dudes, but for me, no.

I'm a Dom, so if I find someone physically or mentally attractive, I'm interested UNLESS they are also a Dom. I prefer someone who is already submissive in the bedroom or is willing and open to being taught how to be.

Where as if it's a female Dom, we are gonna clash on literally everything in the bedroom lmao. Which would be a big hecking no from me for any woman who is.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Sexuality compatability has nothing to do with positions or sex acts. It's more about the vibe between two people and if they work well together in the bedroom

rollingtwenties · Accepted Answer

my friend told me the first time we did it he felt we were compatible because of the feel and the fit when he entered me. I have to admit it felt good too.

Lliam · Answer

Do they have similar libidos? Do they like similar things? Is there chemistry?

slatyb · Answer

Neither. It's more about attitude. Is she generally accommodating? Does she enjoy it? Want it? Is she, as Dan Savage put it, "good, giving, and game" ?

Drewtate · Answer

Means they want to f*ck without getting into a relationship.

Fireguy17 · Answer

everything from how often, who gets tied up, can he sleep with her sister, spit or swallow, those types of things.

Wonderingguyy · Answer

He wants to know if you’ll be into each others kinks, if you can make each other cum, if he fits, and if you are turned on by each other naked.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I see most men on here have no idea what sexual compatibility means, and right there starts the problem.

Ironic_Method · Answer

Sexual compatibility for me is less about positions and more about kinks and the ability to make each other feel the way they want to feel.

Keene13 · Answer

It means certain positions he likes to do, or maybe kinks/fetishes

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Kinks, verocity, rytham, positions, fun, attraction, attitude, experience. l, frequency. These are all things that go into sexual compatibility.

jahaims · Answer

The chemistry

BigDog1989 · Answer

He's likely trying to see if you're a size queen or not, that sort of stuff

Likes2drive · Answer

Basically liking the same things and a good fit physically in some cases

Pterodon · Answer

The overall experience

REX_JSWL · Answer

Compatibility is more about fantasies not position Like if she want to get dominated but he need normal sex Or his dirty talk making her feel bad instead of turning her on

msc545 · Answer

Just the total experience really.

Anonymous · Answer

If they can make each other cum, then that's enough compatability

Anonymous · Answer

He wants to make sure that the things he enjoys, such as receiving oral sex, doggy position, anal sex, threesomes, exhibitionism, and whatever else turns him on. . . are things that you either also enjoy or are at east willing to do for him.