When is the point of "no return"?

[Batkoo0]

Hello to you all. Well my questions is when is the point of no return for example for gay guys, is it when they are start desiring men or when they start doing things with men? When is that moment when you become fully and really gay and there is no chance to be anything else? Or for example about gay crossdressers, when is the point of no return? Is it when they start wearing female clothes whenever they can and wear panties and thongs on a daily basic? I am asking this for myself, because I am probably gay crossdresser and I dont know if I reached that point of no return..

[Sangita93]

There is no "Point of No Return". Most religious fundamentalists who believe homosexuality is a matter of choice and consider it obvious that gay people can reverse their decisions. Other side believes that gays are "born that way," and thus that sexual reorientation therapy is ineffective, as well as cruel and demoralizing for them.

Sexual arousal is subject to Pavlovian conditioning, the method of repeatedly pairing one stimulus with another until, eventually, the first triggers an expectation of the second. Both men and women can be conditioned to become sexually aroused by exposure to a cue, such as an odor or object. Along the same lines, people can be conditioned by their life experiences, learning to become aroused by something or someone, only after having a sexual experience with them.

Sexual experiences affect our arousal patterns by altering what activities or features of sexual partners arouse us. But people can be conditioned to become aroused by members of their non-preferred sex. Male’s presumed natural predilection for females is never lost: It is much easier to reorient those male quails toward females through "reverse learning."

Animals' sexual preferences are somewhat fluid. Humans are not so malleable, but large number of them might be. There is reason to think women's sexual preferences, in particular, can change in response to an experience with a member of their non-preferred sex.

Unlike men, who are usually sexually oriented solely toward men or women, and whose sexuality is essentially fixed from puberty on, women have greater "erotic plasticity." Their sexual orientation can be shaped by cultural influences, altered by positive or negative experiences and intensified by feelings of love or attachment. Females' sexual fluidity may emerge from the finding that, across the board, they are sexually aroused by images of both men and women, whereas men are typically aroused only by members of their preferred sex.

Their erotic plasticity may explain why women with same-sex predispositions report better success adjusting to heterosexual lifestyles than gay men do. But switching to a "straight" identity does not rid them of their former attractions. Sexual fluidity is more of a broadening of attraction pattern rather than removing of original pattern. Men have this capacity, too, but more prominent in women.

Gay people are not really "born that way" in the sense of having same-sex attractions from the moment of birth. Sexual orientation cements around puberty, and it is quite possible that there are several influences on forming a homosexual orientation. Genes do appear to contribute, but so do other factors, including a fetus' level of exposure to certain sex hormones in the womb, and possibly early life experiences. The influence of genes can't be altered, but influence of other factors can be.

Some combination of Pavlovian conditioning, learning processes and even hormone therapies could enable truly motivated individuals with a same-sex predisposition to adapt to heterosexual lifestyles, whether for religious, cultural or personal reasons. Our best efforts should be in trying to reduce the misunderstanding, discrimination, and hostility that exist within non-heterosexuals and their social situations.

[CrazyGirl2]

Ok first, being gay and crossdressing are completely unrelated. According to Masters and Johnson over 90% of men have intentionally worn an article of female clothing at least once. I’ve often told of my ex wearing panties because he just finds them more comfortable, and he has no thoughts of whether or not he’s gay, but certainly not because of the type of underwear he wears. He, like the overwhelming majority of the population, knows he’s straight. Straight people usually don’t think about being gay or not, it’s kinda part of being straight. As for whether or not you are gay…. Only you know the answer to that, and I think you probably already know! What good will stranger’s opinions do you, we’ve never been inside your head? I’m not a lesbian, so I couldn’t possibly know what you are going through, but I know it must be a frightening thought, or confusing at the very least! The thing is, that being said, if you are gay, well… when you accept the fact, it’s not a bad thing! The way you asked this question makes it seem as though there’s nothing worse than being gay, and like “how far can I go before I'm stuck this way”? It’s fine, you’ll be fine, you may loose some friends, but good! Who needs narrow-minded bigots as friends? You’ll be better off without that toxic energy in your life either way! There is no magic boundary that if you cross it, and your wrong, “too bad, you made your choice!” Life just isn’t like that. If you try a relationship with a man, and its just not for you… so what! So you had a real lived experience, and through it discovered that you’re not gay! If nothing else, you’ll know it for sure, and you’ll never have to worry about it ever again. There is absolutely NO point of no return. You can return to hetero-land, we don’t mind. Good luck, sweetie 🥰

[Batkoo0]

Thank you so much for your amazing aswner, sweet girl! <3

[CrazyGirl2]

You are SO welcome 🤗 You are about to embark on a life-journey that will be both exciting and scary. I truly wish you all the luck in the world. Take care sweetie 😘 💋.

[DonkeyDan]

I don't know if you can say there is a point of no return, like its a choice to turn back at some point. You can't truly stop yourself from being the person you really are and still be happy with yourself. Accept who you are and learn to be happy about it. Regarding your comment on if you are gay or no chance of being anything else, yes of course there is something else. Bisexual is someone who is in to both sexes, but equally is a label that doesn't always describe someone's sexuality exactly well, and this is where labels start to not work for some people and it becomes a grey area. Some people who are bi will flip flop between their preferences all throughout their lives, other have a greater leaning towards one of the sexes.

[NamerOfStars]

No return? How do you "return" from a place you've never gone to? Sexuality isn't what you do, it's what you FEEL. If you feel an attraction to other guys, whether you do anything with that or not, then you're gay or bi.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to; your actions are up to you to decide.

[Gwenhwyfar]

If you’re gay you were always gay. Or bi. You’re just now discovering how to express yourself.

[XXblack88]

I'm not sure. maybe take a break from the crossdressing for a little bit and see how you feel. I'm not bi or lesbian so I'm not sure what you should do.

[billluc69]

im bisexual so it was like always