When you start a “friends with benefits” with a new widower, how do you know if she is truly ready?

I’ve recently become friends with benefits with widower who had lost his husband to a disease year ago. We’ve known each other for a few months and I found myself attracted to her in a physical way. We started flirting and it wasn't long before we both agreed to start a "friends with benefits" relationship.

However, I couldn't shake off the feeling that I might be getting involved with someone who wasn't truly ready for this kind of arrangement. I don’t want to cause her any further emotional pain or push her into something she isn't comfortable with. How can I make sure that she is ready?

When you start a “friends with benefits” with a new widower, how do you know if she is truly ready?
1 0

Superb Opinion

  • Well that’s why FWB’s is a good thing especially in her situation , Just try not to get emotionally attached to her fast , just have fun with her., you don’t want to get emotionally attached to a girl that is still grieving and still in love with her deceased husband , she will never be able to love you as much as she loved her husband , girls have a tendency to hold on to their ex lovers a lot longer than most guys can , hear me out. , you don’t want to be emotionally connected to a girl that isn’t really capable of giving you her full love , I know this from experience, you will constantly be compared to her deceased husband and feel like you aren't good enough , She will hold him over your head like he was the best thing that ever happened to her , so for your own sanity do not fall head over heels for her , let her come to you , because right now she is just seeking friendship and sex , having her wants met by a guy she can just get off on and have fun with cuz she will always hold her deceased husband in her heart so she won’t be able to fully give herself to you. Just enjoy friendship and sex with her , Me personally prefers FWB’s especially these days , I had my heart shit on by girls’ that claim they want love and claim they want a man to stand by their side but the reality of it , she wants her cake and wants to eat it to , Why it’s smart not to jump into a relationship right away with someone , because people tend to change and tend to become very selfish only thinking what is best for them , once the infatuation wears off , you realize you were giving your heart to someone that clearly wasn’t giving their heart back to you the same, and you realize you had Sucker written on your head the whole time and like a drop of a hat they no longer value or respect you , to find a girl these days that actually knows what it means to be in a committed relationship is sadly hard to come by , most girls think they want love and commitment and want a guy to stay loyal and faithful to them but most girls don’t grasp boundaries in a relationship, she can set them but not grasp how to follow them, in her mind she feels it’s ok for her to do certain things but not ok for her partner to do , when her partner reminds her of the boundaries that she set she automatically assumes he is being controlling and insecure when really he is just trying to get her to respect him the same way she expects him to respect her , When a girl tells you that you are being jealous and insecure and don’t trust her , more than likely she is up to no good , trying to make you think that you are the bad guy when really she is the POS , The only way I will be in a FWB’s relationship with a girl is if some strings are attached , meaning her and I aren’t running off screwing other people , if we end up screwing someone else then her and I end the FWB’s and just remain friends. It’s better to do it that way so you both don’t get your heart shit on , So my advice to you is let her come to you , just enjoy the sex and friendship before having your heart shit on

Most Helpful Guy

  • As a widower myself, I can tell you that we'll never be truly "ready".
    It's not easy to be with someone else after losing the love of your life, but it's something we have to learn to do. Which takes time.
    There will be moments where it seems like he's pushing you away. Just be patient and understanding, and give him space when it seems like he needs it.
    You're not doing anything wrong. He needs this, whether he knows it or not.

    • Sorry, not sure if this a male or female you're talking about. A widower is a male, but you also said she a couple times lol

Most Helpful Girl

  • Would definitely give her time and patience, you can let her know you’ll be here when she’s ready and to take her time. But you also have her draw the line too, if she’s not comfortable yet to do something then don’t do it. Take her emotional pain and grief in mind. It’s not easy to move on from a broken heart.. everyone is different on timing though. But I suggest just having an open and honest conversation with her, and don’t rush anything.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 8
  • i think after a year she is probably way ready

  • Talk to her about it

  • You don't know. You ask and hope it's the right answer. You're never going to KNOW know though, and life's too short to what if it, so roll with it and have fun.

  • Have sex with her. Her reactions and willingness to participate will tell you how ready she is for a sex-only relationship.

  • Roll the dice.

  • I think at her age she would know if she is ready.
    She just might want the attention and closeness without being in a relationship.
    Talk to her about it and it may ease your mind.

  • Try once and you could understand from her responses and moves

  • No one is truly ready for relationship after living with your spouse for years and then died even months after they aren’t ready, anything less than that then that person is ready

  • ready for what? benefits?

  • I'd say you should be her friends with benefits. She is just your friend and you should be available for her.