I am polyamorous. I have known this since I was 14. A lot of people mistake polyamory for open relationships ( and although it has some similarities, it's not the same thing). Polyamory, to me at least, is just as a sexuality as is being gay, straight, etc. You cannot change it, or go back and forth, and even if you do end up being in a monogamous relationship, there's always something missing and you feel uncomfortable. Obviously, there are levels to it, and polyamory doesn't have a cut and define version of it. There are broad aspects such as the treeline and the family, but all rules and boundaries are defined by the people in that partnership.
The problem is, not a lot of people who claim to be poly, are actually poly. There are many individuals who take advantage of that title just to fuck other people, and use them, while they're in a relationship. It gives a very bad rep to people who are poly.
But to answer your question, poly to me is the idea that I cannot fathom to restrict someone to live their life and have experiences, and be selfish to have them only for myself, just as I don't like to be restricted to live my only life focused only on one individual.
The example I give to people who don't understand my reasoning is this:
Say you have two kids, now pick which one you love the most. You can't. You love them both, but for different reasons. Yes, they are your kids, but kid A is so creative and artistic and has an innovating mind, while kid B is athletic and loves the outdoors and being close to nature. Each kid has a different personality and brings out something different to you, but you love them equally. In a similar manner, I love people. It doesn't mean I love one more than the other, it's that each person I care for brings out different parts of me, and I think that it's healthier than depending on one person to fit all your interests and expect that they will enjoy everything that you enjoy.
Obviously, I am not saying that monogamy is wrong, and polyamory is the way to go. There are many relationships that work fantastic in monogamy. But for my personality and who I am, I could never be "someone's".
It all comes down to whatever one decides is best for themselves.
That being said, genetically, both women and men, were made to entertain multiple relationships simultaneously. This is still going on in certain cultures, but isn't such a widespread practice.
In the westernized society, serial monogamy is what people tend to go for (due to sociological and psychological factors). Because of the culture we live in, I think both polyamory and polygamy have a high potential to be messy and hurtful.
If you are in a ”I just wanna have fun” phase, and want to experiment polyamory, that's fine (as long as you take responsibility for your actions and are aware of what you're doing). But I don't see this as a viable option for adults.
Currently in a poly relationship.
Have a job that requires me to be at a place 2 weeks at a time and one place is a NW state and the other is a SE state.
1st: I was legally married to her, now divorced but still see her because I have 2 kids with her. When I am in the same place, I still live with them, sleep on the same bed with her and yes will have sex with her too. When we go out I hold her hand as how any other husband does and this arrangement will go on till our youngest who is now 3 turns 18.
2nd : She is the second 2nd partner I'm having. The previous was more of a wife and was trying to impregnate her but it didn't work out in the end. The new one is now more of a friends with benefits and she is much younger. I don't know where it would lead to but probably will lead to something.
As long as you're honest with yourself and your partners, I dont think it matters because we're entitled to have our preference for lifestyle choices. So long as dishonesty doesn't become a factor, thats all that matters to me in any relationship. Respect the person enough to tell them in the beginning of the relationship so nobody wastes time
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Polygamy is a sexist practice where a man is legally allowed to build a harem, basically. Polygamy is one man married to several women. It's a religious practice that always ends up with a group of women being used for the gratification of their husband.
Polyamory is the practice of everyone in a relationship being free to pursue other relationships outside of that one. It's a lifestyle that encourages and facilities both men and women to pursue other partners and have deep emotional connections with other people.
In that regard, I am polyamorous. Tried being monogamous. Didn't work out. Lol
But one is not inherently better than the other. Whichever one works better for you is better for you. There's no standard or metric to determine which lifestyle is superior.
I think that is subject to opinion. I think monogamy is better though. I think we are only built to romantically love one person at a time. I would find it mentally exhausting to have to love more than one person at a time, and dealing with two different personalities. I think polygamous relationships are warranted to be not long lasting.
Well said
well one for a loving sex life , you get the love from that the other is for sexually pleasures only, I love both like you, but there is a need to let all your sexual urges loose,
Monogamy
Well, given the fact that human monogamy is a myth that kinda narrows it down.
Women tend to want sex more as they get older. Guys tend to want it less. As a 61 year old male I would not object to being in a poly relationship with a woman and other guys. I would not want sex more than maybe twice a week and so the other guys can take a turn and she'd be happy all the time.
I'm definitely someone who is monogamous and prefer it that way, I can't share my partner and don't want too. I'm not a huge fan of the idea of polygamy but to each his own and it's about you and I'd suggest maybe try it out first one of each before ultimately deciding what's best for you.
Monogamy is better, has many fewer complications, and allows a couple the time to really love each other.
Both are okay to me. i like to say i'm polyflexible ever since i dated a poly girl
its up to the ones involved
Monogamy only for me.
I am married. I love polygamy.
Monogamy...
Monogamy, wouldn't date anyone who wanted a poly relationship
I don’t share my girl, if she wants to go poly or cheat she can fkn do it without me.
Both because it's good in all ways
Poly please
On paper I like the idea of poly.
But my girlfriend and I tried it and I freaked out when she actually slept with a guy.
So I agree with it but we've decided to remain exclusive while we can work through my emotional blocks to it.
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