Who is to blame when a married man cheats - the man or the wife?

Many women after marriage start treating men like dogs. The first thing that goes away is a blowjob. Next sex becomes infrequent and sometimes stops altogether. The guys gets frustrated and goes "elsewhere" to satisfy his "needs". This is when the wife wakes up and starts blaming everyone except herself.
Why do wives take husbands for granted? Why does BJ need to stop after marriage?
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • Wow, first let me say that you seem refreshingly enlightened about such things, that's fantastic, it blows me away 😊

    What you are referring to is emasculation, some women start doing it without even realising what they're doing. They may start to become annoyed at little things he does that don't suit her, or she starts to want to change him to the way she wants him to be, and because that never works, it only serves to make her more annoyed at the way he is.

    Feeling emasculated only leads to the partner withdrawing from the relationship and if it becomes bad enough, he starts looking elsewhere for someone who will respect him and make it known to him that he's OK the way he is.

    It's a very real phenomena, there is plenty info available about it from many sources.

    The problem with it is that she often doesn't even realise how damaging her behaviour can be and then when he starts withdrawing from her, she starts to wonder if there's something wrong and usually starts with distorted thinking of all the possible reasons, except what's really going on, not even considering that her behaviour has anything to do with it.

    Going by some of the replies from some of the females responding here, like the example I've given, they're too ready to blame the partner for everything. The question is, if a relationship gets to this point they need to ask why, not simply lay the blame squarely at his feet. Specifically based on the example you've given.

Most Helpful Guy

  • "Many women after marriage start treating men like dogs." - I'm sure it happens, but more than likely, she was doing it before and he ignored the signs.

    "Who is to blame when a married man cheats - the man or the wife? - The man. She said "yes" but the guy, more than likely, popped the question.

    I'm not saying that to bash on other men, I'm saying this to highlight the fact that we need to do better at selecting who we marry. If you have to cheat on your wife, you didn't know her well enough to marry her.

    She didn't learn how to treat a man like a dog AFTER marriage, she knew before. What did he ignore in a rush to marry her?

    We need to stop this BS narrative. Women are not magicians - at some point, red flags were ignored.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Oh hell no.
    Why the hell do those women stop the sex?
    It makes no sense.
    I as a very sexual women, would feel offended if my significant other denies sex. Or makes excuses.

    AND HAVEE BEEN OFFENDED.
    It’s why I’ve broken up with certain guys.

  • Its the cheaters fault, no one made him do it. No one forced him to.

    Thus it is directly 100% his fault and choice.

    Now could she of done things to keep him interested, yeah sure... but not doing so doesn't make his decision her fault or choice.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

9 28
  • It doesn't, and indeed, shouldn't. WAY too many people, men and women alike, think of marriage as "the finish line"; that once you cross it, you're set and done. Relationships take work and effort; marriages, it seems to me, take even more.

    However, the lion's share of the blame in a cheating scenario goes to the person who chose to cheat. Perhaps not ALL of it, but most- and if your relationship is having problems, the responsible thing to do is try to FIX them.

  • The man would be at fault. Not all relationships are like the one that you described. If a cheater wants to cheat, he will, no matter what he’s getting at home.

  • A person is always responsible for the choices they make. A cheating spouse is to blame for cheating, and a difficult spouse is to blame for being difficult.

  • The cheater, always.
    By the way, it's far too obvious that this question is asked by a guy pretending to be a woman.

  • It's the I'm a man; I can't help it trope.

  • It should only be better after marriage. I’d b tot in trouble if I didn’t do as much as I should to be there 4 him. 🎀

  • This is so written by a guy under a female account 😂

  • If my wife had ever stopped having sex with me and denied my needs, I would have divorced her rather than cheat, thankfully she never did, we divorced for other reasons.

  • I'm speaking from a non married perspective so I can't really say but usually cheating is a temptation people can fight if they put their mind right because breaking up or divorcing is still a better solution than cheating

  • The cheater. End.

  • It is the MAN at fault.
    There is something called communication and marriage therapy.

  • I don't even see what the big deal is with cheating. I was with the same woman for 14 years and from years 7 to 10 she had a full-time boyfriend on the side. It doesn't harm anything. I certainly wouldn't break a relationship up over it.

  • That's not true for every marriage, hun.

    The man. You can always choose to divorce and then look elsewhere, if your spouse doesn't satisfy you.

  • You’re definitely a dude under a woman’s profile lol

  • The cheater.

  • They can always agree together to have multiple sex partners, then it's not cheating. But that's the crux of the problem, doing things without permission. If there is a sense of wanting more that one partner cannot give, maybe that's the conversation that could be had. You don't have to love someone less because you have sex without someone else as well.

  • their both to blame to some degree one for stepping out and the other for denying them. since both sides can and do cheat on the other once their bored or denied to often. also likely one or both starts using other means to get their sexual release rather not cheating.

    because many years ago sex was something most people waited to have. until they were either married or in a long term committed relationship. these days people go around sleeping with many people before getting married. so they often don't think it's part of the trade off for being in a long term relationship. since a good and pleasurable sex life between those in a relationship is what holds everything else together.

  • Obviously both parties have some responsibility for the failing relationship. But nobody is making him cheat.

    He should leave or explain that he wants an open relationship and why.

  • Nice try pink anon.

  • The cheater is to blame for the cheating

  • Show More (17)