Sexual Relationships
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Why are age gaps so disgusting to people?

my guy is 12 years older. and most of my friends tell me it is disgusting. we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend but we have a thing...we talk almost every day, see each other, fool around a bit. it's more than friends with benefits but not an official couple. why is it so disgusting? I'm in my 20s, and I'm a full adult. my friend says she thinks it is sleazy of him to "take advantage" of a 21 year old. i don't understand. how is it any worse than a guy my age wanting sex? i know we aren't exactly equals...but I like that. I guess I have a submissive side or maybe something in me needs to be taken care of. but being with an older man makes me feel good in a way that a younger man can't.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Probably because they don't socialize with people from that age group, so they view them as totally different from you guys. Which often isn't the case. My boyfriend is 9.5 years older than me [22 and 32], and none of my friends or anyone else in my life thinks anything of it. A mutual friend actually hooked us up, and she's right in the middle between us in age. My social circle varies a lot in age, from like 20-35, and a couple of people who are officially 'senior citizens' now. I've always had older friends because I relate to them better and was always really mature for my age. Even my dad has no issue with the age difference. He's even commented that with my mentality and who I am, I'm probably better off and will have a more successful relationship with someone older than me.

  • I think age gaps only really matter pre-20's, after that both parties are adults and can make their own choices and there aren't really any developmental concerns to worry about.

    ie: an 18 and 14 year old is a "bigger" gap than 24 and 28

    because, well, biology.

  • Don't listen to them 12 years is really not that bad. One of my friends was dating someone who was 25 years old more then twice her age.

    Do what makes you happy not what makes others happy :)

Most Helpful Guys

  • Everyone has their own opinions. As long as you are happy and he is happy with you its no ones business but yours. If your friends are young they may not be mature enough to understand that concept. My last major relation I was 21. I knew her family and because of her age I kept her at a distance but after being friends for over a year I gave in. (she was chasing me all that time) We were together for 4 years and are still best friends. At the end of the day if you can smile and wake up the next day with a smile forget what the rest say because someone else will always have something else to say.

  • There are so many relationships between people who are the same age that are unhealthy. And yet some people still seem to think it's a requirement for having a lasting and loving relationship. It's not. After both parties are legally adults age difference is no longer relevant in my opinion. Now, you do have relationships with large age gaps in which one person is taking advantage of the other, but that doesn't mean all relationships with large age gaps are wrong. You have to assess it on a case by case basis, no two relationships are identical.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Your just attracted to his maturity that's all, but you need to think about what effect that will have later on in life when and if you do decide to pursue that relationship, him being 40 and your 28, him being 50 and you 38, I don't know about you but I would not like to be that much older than my spouse.

    I think that later you might look at it differently and might even regret it, besides why couldn't he find somebody around his own age? What happened with that? Ask yourself that question...

  • it means your friends think you are naive and that you shouldn't be trusted with your own choices. Guys my age have 'learned the game' a little better, yeah, but we aren't irresistible. If they think lowly of him and also think that he has an advantage over you that he is taking, then they think very lowly of you. I would find new friends.

  • I really think that people are just closed minded, you really are fine, just enjoy life because you only live once.

  • Different strokes for different folks. Tell your friend you're taking advantage of him.

  • i know right? I was 18 and she was 20 and she said she couldn't date me because of "the age gap".

    WTF?

    • That kinda sounds like she was trying to be polite in saying "not interested," without using the "let's just be friends" line.

    • no we had a decent relationship, but after a week or two of things going on she said it couldn't work because of our age and went and dated a 21 year old guy instead.

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