Why am I such a monster?

[Anonymous]

I watch videos about pedophilia like documentaries, and everything. And it really upsets me that people like that, pedophilia and rape are my biggest fears in this world. But I notice sometimes I get a tingy feeling in my privates. I don't know what this is? My mind races with thoughts. Am I getting aroused? I think so? This is horrible guys, this is my biggest fear to end up with someone like this and now I am a pedo? :( GOD WTF
I know its wrong, and it's a horrible act.
But I don't know, I am a monster to? I am a female..

This is why I deserve to not be on this earth? Whats going on?

[FakeName123]

There are 4 options to this:

1. You do ahve some sort of rape/abuse fetish
2. Fear and sexual arousal can be very similar and go hand-in-hand.
3. Scientific research has shown that most women get at least a small physical reaction of sexual arousal watching EVERY single act of sex (including watching primates have sex for example). Men do not have that.
4. You indeed have some twisted, dark desires to hurt others.

Or a mixture of multiple ones of these. Your responsibility to figure it out.

[Asker]

I do have a rape kink. So maybe that's why.. I see, I just wanna be a good person.. But thank you, that's kind of a relief I really hope I don't have a sick twisted desire to hurt others. Cause children are so precious and they don't deserve this treatment. It just worries me...

[FakeName123]

"I just wanna be a good person". First you need to define what you think a good person is. Is it a person that is always kind? Well, that's not a good person. It's a doormat. Is a good person someone who is capable of doing good and bad deeds and who tries to keep doing good deeds, but will dip into their "bad" side when other people want to wrong that person? Then you are way closer to what I consider a good person. Additionally everyone has dark sides and fantasies. And you would be better off confronting them in order to find peace with your ability to do horrendous things - and then decide not to do them. The alternative is being oblivious and naive about a part of you that is too big to be ignored.

[Drowningkingfish]

Yeah I'd stop getting your curious rocks off two it (I know the phrase is for guys, but whatever 2020) , even by looking at it, since you'll develope fixation on it and you may end up looking up illegal chomo porn, which will get you in trouble with the law. You may not be a pedo per say but you don't want to be developing fixation for minors around your rape fetish regardless.

If you can't ignore the topic of minors being raped and it's mentally exhausting you, get psychiatric help asap.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I feel the same for some reason too. I don’t know if it was because of the weird ass porn I used to look at, but I don’t feel anything sexual towards kids or teens. Hell, I can’t even look at anyone 19 and younger in a romantic way. I feel pretty freaking weird and gross too. I don’t think you’re a monster though; we all have dark thoughts. It’s good you’re able to recognize it, so maybe it’ll be easier to suppress or “fix” that thought. All the best to you hun

[Asker]

I don't look at kids or even teens in a romantic way, I actually like older men. Which is odd. It's weird and I know its crazy.. Thank you though.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I’m into guys usually my age or a bit older myself. Hopefully we can figure it out! You’re welcome hun

[Mikelaughs]

We cannot control what we like or desire! The mind often wanders into dark places!

[Anonymous]

Yo its fine its just a kink, u probably just have a rape kink, there’s porn for that (its all acting obviously, they’re consenting adults) you can tell ur partner also n roleplay n it can satisfy that urge. As long as you dont do anything bad it’s totally fine

[Asker]

I know it's wrong. I wouldn't ever ever touch a child or do that at all. It's disgusting how that goes on each day, and makes me sad to the point where I wanna cry. UGH why can't I be normal..

[Opinion Owner]

😐😐 you’re overreacting man as long as you wouldn’t harm a child it’s literally fine, there’s a whole online community for people like you. Literally jus stop man.

[Asker]

I am actually a female.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure, Its alright to admit you’re not

[EdwardMoon]

Everyone has these dark thoughts but you at least have the morality to realize those thoughts are bad

[Asker]

:( I just wanna be normal..

[EdwardMoon]

You are normal your only acting that way because it's a sexual video it's not like you feel that way when you see kids in public right?

[Asker]

It's just when they explain what's happening, I don't know.. It's hard to explain. And fuck no, little kids are precious I don't think that way at all about them. They are Gods precious gifts of earth.

[EdwardMoon]

See your normal

[nameloading]

Your mind is just giving you your biggest fear, it's natural, maybe lay off the documentarys for a bit though.

[sensible27]

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious.

[Asker]

What?

[sensible27]

It's a quote by carl jung.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

the fucking pussy and dick don't dam tell what we are in to.
I dam get an erection ervy time i touch a cat or a dog on the street, but that doesn't make me zoophile.
Geting wet as a woman and geting hard as a man doesn't all the time meen you're body get redy to have sex.
There are olso other biological reson for thos actions. Alimentation, blood, natural protection/dezinfection etc.

[chriscdi]

well even tho it is disgusting, as long as you dont act on it or speak of it out loud, you probably won't get your ass beat, and maybe stop watching that shit because you are arousing yourself when you watch it

[gibgabbs]

Well you appear to know its wrong. Just dont act on it. Everyone gets weird or intrusive thoughts at times. If you believe you have an out of control fetish for children then get therapy immediately. You must never allow those fantasies and perversions to manifest.

[bassinguy76]

Some women are turned on by the rape roll play. I would stop watching those documentaries for a bit though. Fantasy is fine as long as you don't act on it. Everyone has them.

[Anonymous]

Ok, honestly, I very much doubt your a pedophile. You sound like your psyching yourself up. I honestly used to do the same thing, you just need to take a bit and probably stop watching those documentarys for a while.

[Asker]

Yeah, you are right. I don't know.. I wouldn't ever do that to a kid and it hurts me to think I get this way when I watch these documentaries. I just don't wanna end up being with a pedo or a horrible person. or me ending up to be one.. I just wanna be a good person..

[Opinion Owner]

You are a good person, there is nothing wrong with you. People will always get scared of the worst possible thing. Also a piece of advice, I wouldn't go asking people about this IRL.