Why Are BDSM Books Normally Toxic?

[anon1903]

This is an example. Please don't be offended.

[NathanDavis]

if you really start looking for these things... every fictional love story will have "toxicity" in the plot, somewhere...

stories where everyone is "perfect" and they're living "perfect" relationships do not get popular

toxicity is the spice of fictional love...

[anon1903]

Not true.

[anon1903]

I'm reading Rainy Nights And Mondays and despite being dark academia, all plots, events and characters are healthy. Just an example.

[NathanDavis]

so it lacks spice... by the way, did you end it yet?

[anon1903]

It has sex scenes. They're consensual.

[anon1903]

Almost done. The author is yet to publish last few chapters, since it's running.

[NathanDavis]

are there love triangles? unrequited love?

[anon1903]

Nope.

[anon1903]

Can you get more basic, Nathan?

[NathanDavis]

not above 13pH... that's not so comfortable why though?

[anon1903]

Just shows your basic tastes in fiction. Or could it be you don't read enough to know your tastes?

[NathanDavis]

what it shows is that you rather assume... instead of inquire which, I did... but speaking of taste... what kind of book writes a noah and elijah instead of Noah and Elijah? or is that a review from someone that does not ready enough of anything at all, to know better

[anon1903]

Looks like the author doesn't know proper nouns have capitals

[RavVid]

So there should BDSM without the bondage, domination, sadism and masochism? Isn't that kinda the point?

If instead it was written as "Evelyn may we unbutton your blouse and remove your bra please?". "Oh sure" Evelyn said "I'd like that". Wouldn't that be disappointing to a BDSM reader.

I did read some of Ann Rice Sleeping Beauty and came to the conclusion she was a sick puppy. Still 50 Shades was a big hit amongst the girls.

[anon1903]

The scene can be better. I get your point but it can be better.

[anon1903]

You did not just MOCK consent

[RavVid]

You've mentioned Rainy Days and Mondays but all I could find was an old love song by the Carpenters but I assume from the context it is a book. Maybe you could give some essential elements of what you like? A girl did throw herself over my knees saying Spank Me once but I was a sad disappointment to her. I was far too gentle and didn't spank hard enough.

[anon1903]

It's on wattpad

[anon1903]

I can send it to you if you're on wattpad

[anon1903]

It's not about likes, it's about triggers. Lack of consent triggers and it should trigger you too.

[anon1903]

"A girl did throw herself over my knees saying Spank Me once but I was a sad disappointment to her. I was far too gentle and didn't spank hard enough." I might be into that too. Nothing wrong with a slap on the ass. But I'd want my partner to do it, or someone that I'm doing with consensually.

[RavVid]

I will have to get onto it tomorrow and will reply back here when I have. Close to 100 F today and a bit wiped out from that.

[anon1903]

K (...)

[Little_Bumblebee]

So many of those people who do write these types of books have actually no idea how healthy BDSM dynamics work.

And the example text isn't BDSM.. just sounds like gang rape or something.

[WhitneySnow]

I’m not sure why they are but that is def toxic

[Reece12345]

Fuck this. Too much like rape.

[SnowedIn]

I don't have a great answer but at the risk of oversimplifying, is it an intersection of what that author wants to write plus a much larger does of what readers want?

[anon1903]

They're both disturbing

[SnowedIn]

I don't disagree.

[anon1903]

That's a good answer, Nate :D

[feelitinyou]

I always found these kind of books boring and never was something I got off too.

[anon1903]

@feelitinyou good

[feelitinyou]

Too me degrading is what it is.

[anon1903]

@feelitinyou precisely!

[feelitinyou]

I say one should use ones imagination instead of such creepy books.

[anon1903]

@feelitinyou yes

[oddwaffle]

Ever read Advanced mathematics books? The ones with extra dimensions and such? Falling asleep? Yeah. How about quantum physics? Or game theory with infinite sequences?

Be thankful you can still understand the books.

[anon1903]

So is the alphabet book. Maybe I should get get a cracking off that. 🙄

[SnowedIn]

Brings new meaning to math and physics will tie you up

[LindsayR07]

Depends on what you are reading, and 90% are not representative of the BDSM or Leather lifestyle

[DavidRaul]

I haven't read anything like that

[FilmGuy93]

You should probably ask a member of the BDSM community about the dynamics of their sexual interactions. The whole thing is built on love and respect, but those guys could probably explain this way better than I ever could.

[anon1903]

I'm a part of the BDSM community myself. I don't support this.

[call_me_scar]

Was it a cnc book

[anon1903]

i don't think cnc can exist outside roleplaying

[anon1903]

even with BDSM, gotta have a relationship before you pretend to get r@ped

[call_me_scar]

I assumed the role played and all that was earlier in the chapter, but yeah, of theirs, none of that, then I don't know what's up with that book or entire genre

[call_me_scar]

If* not of

[anon1903]

Precisely.

[anon1903]

It's just random powerful guys exploiting a woman because "innocent is hot"

[call_me_scar]

Yeah, that's less bdsm cnc and more of just nc, which hurts the community as a whole and pretty fucked up

[anon1903]

Can't agree more

[anon1903]

It's disgusting

[Jennz6]

Not all, some are Mild BDSM which I like

[anon1903]

Yeah

[Jamie05rhs]

Because that's what sells.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I don’t think they are. Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. Maybe they are, because they might brainwash the reader into thinking shmutzy things.

[shortster]

Because mainstream media doesn't understand rape. I mean look at how many of them turn out to be rapists.

[Debbie14217]

no idea

[anton_dee]

BDSM itself is all about rough and aggressive sex. So yeah, it is normal.

[standardguy]

This sounds like an average book with some violence. But nothing special violent.

[anon1903]

Spoken like a misogynist

[standardguy]

of course this was a negative behaviour towards this woman. But in a normal book she would say "hey you guys are mad, I will leave now and if you want to hinder me I will kick your asses!"

[anon1903]

that won't be a bdsm book then

[anon1903]

a great book nonetheless

[standardguy]

so you like it though it is "toxic"? ;-)

[anon1903]

Nope :/

[standardguy]

By the way: Are you man or woman? Your photo looks like a guy but you are pink coloured.

[anon1903]

I'm a woman

[anon1903]

That's a k-pop idol in my pfp

[standardguy]

but not from stray kids?

[anon1903]

Why do you care?

[standardguy]

Because I feel that you are hurted by the book and I dont know why. If you read this book then you are expected to like the content.

[anon1903]

Hurted? Try disturbed.

[anon1903]

Content like this is why sex is tabood so hard

[standardguy]

Thre is no taboo in the western society

[anon1903]

I like western society more

[anon1903]

That's one of the reasons

[Bklynbadboy12]

That's not toxic it's fiction

[anon1903]

It's toxic, fiction or factual

[Bklynbadboy12]

That all depends on the person doing it and what they like

[anon1903]

No it doesn't

[Bklynbadboy12]

Why do you say that you saying it's toxic is just your opinion

[anon1903]

It's toxic to normalise these kind of stuff. Additionally, these authors totally skip character interaction and relationship arcs — it's just bad porn! With abuse.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I'm shocked you said that we have men identifying as women and going to the women bathroom but your worried about what people do in the privacy of there own home

[anon1903]

Transgender people must have their own washroom. It's the third gender.

[anon1903]

One more transphobic comment and I'm blocking you, bruh.

[Bklynbadboy12]

So block me I'm just stating facts

[krin_m]

Not all are toxic.

[anon1903]

Name one that's not

[krin_m]

Fifty shades of grey!

[anon1903]

Hahaha XD 😆 you're joking right?

[krin_m]

Not exactly! It depicts internal turmoil but ends in a good spot!

[anon1903]

It doesn't have a plot, for starters

[anon1903]

But okay. I respect your take.

[krin_m]

Thank you! Can you DM me?

[anon1903]

DM you about what

[krin_m]

So we can chat about BDSM one on one. Of course, only if you are interested!

[anon1903]

It's 11:44pm. Maybe another time.

[krin_m]

OK. have a good night!

[anon1903]

I will. :D 🌃