Why are many people so against wholesome/abstinent relationships?

Why are many people so against wholesome/abstinent relationships?
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Personally, I so much prefer a wholesome and/or sexless relationship. Sex is overrated and not really that necessary, now to get her to understand it as well...
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  • While I have no interest in abstaining from, well, anything, that's a good question. The answer is probably, people aren't. Realistically I don't think people are actively against abstinence but a) people still talk about sex like it's edgey, so cool points and 2) if someone is LOUDLY against, well most things really, but just LOUD your going to pay attention to the loud one and ignore the fifty quieter people walking by muttering "holy fuck, who gives a shit. Let people be happy..." You see that all the time in politics, religion, any social belief, the loud will be considered more numerous than the quiet.

  • I'm not, hey do you that's good.. Now could I have an abstinent marriage? No.. I'mma normal male who is too attracted to women to just not get down eventually.. 😅.. And that's how most people are.. 😅..

  • I’m not against it but I’m not all the way for it as well. Being honest I think you can only do so much “mind f**king” until things become played out, and you want more. Sex is a great way to express that but a lot of people take it for granted and just have sex because of anatomy.
    But that’s only my thoughts it’s different strokes for different folks.

  • People derive their ideas and opinions from what fuels or inspires them in one way or another. Today we mostly get that in the form of entertainment. The entertainment industry is like modern day story telling. But If only we knew how many thoughts weren't our own.

  • Not against it, but most people need some form of sexual release from their partner

    • Should the less sex-inclined partner make an effort then? I mean, it's something like 40 minutes max one hour against seeing her depressed 24/7.

    • Generally I'd say both partners should be either sex-inclined or not. Lack of sex will ruin it for the sex-inclined person and sexual activity will ruin it for sex-adverse person.

    • I think you should make an effort. If you really hate it and she really needs it, that’s gonna cause big problems for your relationship. I wish I could be more empathetic, but I generally like sex (though I have moods where I don’t want it) and I’ve never had a boyfriend who felt that way. I would tell you to check out the character of Arlington Kerr in Anne Rice’s The Witching Hour, but there’s literally one paragraph about him so it wouldn’t help much. I am gonna give you some private advice

  • Because people tend to think and act with their private parts
    instead of their brains. I prefer something sexless as well.

  • Both side get pissed at eachother because they think the other side thinks they are superior to them.

  • I remain abstinent because it's one of the few things in the bible that I have somehow kept. (Bc I'm ugly as balls right?😝). Either way, even as someone who is trying to be abstinent, I understand why so many people are agaijst abstinent relationships as I'm always fighting my sexual urges. (I'm a horny 23 year old mind you with the testosterone of a freaking monkey).

  • if you prefer a sexless relationship then that’s your preference and no one should make you feel inferior for that. there are guys out there that will want the same as you, maybe at church or something if you’re religious, but yeah, screw what the world thinks, just do what makes you happy <3

  • When when it's involuntary it is a massive red flag and sign.

    That aside, I've worked with hacidic Jewish people, and they don't have sex until marriage and they actually observe because those are the custom's for the religion.

  • Well I don’t think most people are against it, just not interested. And it’s a significant part of most romantic relationships

  • Because that isn’t the society we live in anymore. Everything requires less attention and thought. Abstinence, even if temporary takes a lot of attention and thought.

  • because sex is fun, and allows for deeper bonding, Its something on the chemical level. Its hard to explain, but there is something to be said about making love to the woman you love more than life its self.

  • Why are you equating abstinence with wholesomeness? I don't see that those are in any way related

    • Frankly I don't see much wholesomeness in sex, but I can understand the opinion may vary from person to person

    • Wholesomeness seems like an objective standard. Not a subjective one. And I have known couples who have a sexless marriage due to disfunction.

    • Sometimes it's disfunction, other times the relationship is genuinely better sexless.

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  • You could have both you know? Lol but for me being wholesome is more important

  • didn't know they were

  • I'm with you, brother!

    And all of the ones who expect sex are making us look bad. Because now all of the females are scared of men. When all I want is to just have someone to talk to and go out to eat once in a while and play basketball and shit like that.

    • I'd like to add this clarification: I am okay with a sexless dating relationship (that is what I prefer), but I am NOT interested in a sexless marriage. I want to have sex eventually.

  • So friendships... right?

    • Sounds great. I just suck at them.

  • I agree with you. The reason is that many are neither wholesome nor abstinent.

  • What is really wholesome?

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