Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I apologize in advance for generalizing, and I am sure not all men are like this, so please just accept this as a rant, I need to vent!
I am 34 and I had many partners (around 16) and all of them sucked. Some sucked from the beginning never bothered learning, some sucked but learned over time, and some weren't even aware of how much they sucked thinking they rocked my world!
Alright, we know that my generation of boys didn't have enough eduction on sex and most didn't have good father figures, but it is 2023 I am not buying into these excuses anymore. You can learn anything on the internet!
There is a vast difference between men and women when it comes to sex, and it seems like men are just complete idiots that fail to remember this. I am talking about BASIC things! I am yet to meet a man who likes forplay. They don't like it, they do it for women. Actually not even for women, women are completely irrelevant when it comes to anything, they do it to either impress her or smooth out the penetration. For men, it is all about blowing the load. And as fast as possible! Until it charges again and then do it again. It is like they are programmed to do this, like they MUST blow it no matter if world is ending, like no control! They watch porn and masturbate super quickly to it, then go to a woman and masturbate super quickly on her, basically. Male arousal is completely different then female's, most guys think that if a woman is super wet then that means she is to ready orgasm, lol. Well, at least that one was wet, how about 90% others that are fucked dry? I can't even count how many times a man would jus to force his dick into my dry pussy, not realizing why it's not getting in.
If you ask both a man and a woman, what is for them a bad sex, men will say bad sex is when they didn't cum, and women will say bad sex is when it hurts (and almost every incourse hurts in some positions). I came to just one realization why are women so unsatisfied sexually: they settle for selfish jerks! Yes this world is full of selfish male lovers who simply do not care. I refuse to believe that men are biologically so freaking bad at sex, it must be the selfishness. Women are silent about it because they don't know any better, and it is so sad. So, so sad. So if one woman would reject a guy for his lack of sexual skills or willigness to learn, there's another one just around the corner ready to take it in dry for 2 minutes.
Another problem is their insanly huge, unrealistic egos. That thing is scarier then anything! If you tell a man that something is not working for you sexually, be prepared for that ego to smack you right back in your face - by getting ghosted.
Looking at my experience and of my female friends, we all agree that around 90% of our sexual partners sucked big time. And if you google about it, it makes your stomach turn on how wide this issue is in general.
You know what? I am done. If I was completely honest, I experience WAY MORE please when I masturbate. How sad is that! I have stronger emotional connection with my dildo then with any grown ass man. So what's the point in sex? I mean, I am amazed how little men care about women's pleasure, amazed! How can someone be a good person and not reciprocate the favor of orgasm? I would be having really hard time walking away from someone who is left unsatisfied, I simply cannot do it, the guilt would eat me away! Even if it's a one night stand, I mean it's still a person. So my conclusion is that any man who cums (and then falls asleep or goes home) and woman just stays there without orgasm, is a bad person. A really, really bad person.
I know many girls will comment how this is not true and how your partners give you pleasure, but just think very good about it, and about all your ex partners, you will know what I'm talking about. There number of times a man had "bad" sex is same as the number of times a woman had "good" sex.
I do not want to hear any more excuses. We fucked it up, ladies. It's our fault! Actually, the ones who are not educated enough is us women! We created simps and pussies with the feminism and equality shit. I beg you ladies, do not settle for less! I will never again fake an orgasm or be nice about lousy treatment. I don't care about their ego, their not getting a time of day anymore before making me cum. I'm just done with lame, evil people.
What Girls & Guys Said
18 74There is a learning curve and honesty is the best teacher. No real man would pretend that he is a master when he is not. Don't fake a gasm. My penis is not your clit so how about letting me know when a technique is not getting the job done. If you have any constructive criticism make suggestions, lube up and try again. Practice makes perfect. No man would turn down another round until he got it right. A man's climax is short live and does not compare to the joy he feels when he feels to tighten up and sees your body flush with color, and sees you eyes dilate. It is not a competition is should be teamwork.
Agree... It's so selfish to bang , ejaculate and go to sleep/leave... as if the woman was just another toy to help him masturbate and climax. Unselfish men would be happy to see her happy
Men should take more effort to learn what she wants /expects and try their best to make her happy if he cares about her... same goes for women too!!!
Many people have no idea how good the sex is when both of you are having a great time!
I don't know what the circumstances were when you slept with all these people but sex is really hard to be bad at.
Some women are easier to please and are more orgasmic.
It is also a two-way street.
If a man is "bad" at sex, it's usually because he isn't really all that excited about the sex. Just wants to feel a release.
Perhaps there is lack of connection and sex is happening to soon?
99.9% of men are VERY eager to please if you just tell them what you want. Especially with a partner who is showing enthusiasm and is present in the moment.
From my POV, I think you are right... and with good reason... My best sex was with a girl I had know since both of our late teens, and into our 20's... and we both had several partners in between and during our experimenting.. With her, I learned to eat pussy and she learned her way around a penis... Sorry to say that did not transfer to my other sex partners... and I confess, men are so focused on their penis and dumping their load 'somewhere' they forget everything else.
Honest to god, I don't know what a good answer is for the problem you laid out here, and it is a problem,,, and I recognize it as such. I have had about 20 partners,,,,,,,, not all penetrative sex... but I included, eating them, or rubbing them off and them jacking me off... but the problem is a lack of true desire to make sure your partner is satisfied with the sex and the relationship over all... Wish I had a better answer.
Easy to explain in 1 word... Selfishness!! Those men who are unfortunately the ones woman are attracted to a lot of the times aren't giving shit about you and are just making themselves feel good letting you hanging there still being horny while they are fulfilled.
Im a guy that is different and although I'm not claiming that I'm very good at sex... I do know I can make a woman have their orgasm.
The reason for it is simple...
If I wanted I could be selfish aswell because being a men means I cum much faster then a woman ever can. It takes actually some real effort in order to prevent that from happening because when I cum... i can't cum again for at least 10-15 minutes and even after those 15inutes times, its going to be very difficult for me to cum again. Woman can get orgasms time after time again but men can't!
That is something most woman also dont seem to understand. It isn't easy to make your woman get their orgasm before getting one themselves it actually takes a lot of effort in achieving that.
But I feel very disappointed when I got my orgasm and she didn't. For me that would totally ruin the experience because the way I see it is that sex is something you do together! I would feel much better when she got her orgasm and I didn't then the other way arround. Thats just because of the fact that I'm not selfish when we talk about at having sex. I care about her feelings more then about mine as I only feel good about it when we both had pleasure during the sex.
Lots of men can have sex and feeling happy while leaving their girl hanging out here horny and wet. It has al to do with selfishness
If you say that you had 16 partners and all of them were bad... Maybe it is something that is wrong with you? If you say that masturbation for you is the best way of getting an orgasm... Maybe you just don't feel comfortable with a man? It might not be obvious to you, maybe something deep inside makes this uncomfortable feeling?
Another thing is men. Men usually last several minutes. Its really difficult for young men not to cum early. Plus, usually men are more active in bed and waste a lot of physical energy in these couple of minutes, while women can just lay down and relax. Why don't you take control in bed and fu... k the sh. t out of a man the way you want it? Have you tried it? Try to experiment to find what better fits for you, because according to your description you expect a man to drive the "party".
"Blow the load as fast as possible" - its not true. Men just can't physically hold it. It just happens, and that's it. Some men can stop for couple of seconds in the middle of the act just to keep it longer and calm down, and then continue. Every man wishes to have a long lasting pleasure. Its not about the final goal, its all about the process, process is also important.
Men hate constant complaints from a woman during sex. We just can't and are not able understand/comprehend what is not right to you, because to us - we are ok 100% all the time. Its just different physiology. Instead of complaining, just take the control in your hands, tell the man that you will be leading and do as you like or want, men do not care (its actually even sexier when woman rules).
Hmmh. It is quite a long rant isn't it. I can't possibly address all of it in a shorter length.
The first difficulty with good sex is that you cannot sense what the partner is sensing. Their nerve endings aren't plugged to our brain as ours are. You can intuit if something is pleasurable but you can never feel what they are feeling. So it is very dependent on communication most of it non word based (moans, sounds of pleasure, body movements). Without those you would have little idea of your partners experience is.
The second problem is also that guys and gals have different bodies that react differently and again we can never know. If I am suddenly aroused then I do want to do it and do it now. It is better for me to get inside the girl seconds after my cock has engorged and to ejaculate at the peak of my passion when all of the excitements come together. Pretty obviously girls bodies don't usually work like that and for the most part longer is better. That has been communicated well but I suspect there is a lot that hasn't.
A third problem is what is female arousal? Sexologists have found this confusing. Male self reports of arousal correspond well with measurement of blood flow into the penis. Female self reports of arousal have not correlated with measurement of blood flow into the vagina. A female sexologist was puzzled by results that indicated women got aroused, judging by vaginal blood flow, from watching Bonobo monkeys copulate.
A point in passing is that if sexologists can't reliably identify female arousal than perhaps it is not entirely surprising a large portion of men likewise have difficulty.
I certainly have heard women say 'I was so wet' as an indicator of how aroused they were. Certainly it is the most apparent indicator to men. Recently a sexologist developed a device to measure clitorial engorgement and clitorial engorgement correlated with female self reports of arousal.
Surprise! Hard clit = Hard cock = Sexually aroused. The lol at the end of 'super wet...' is justified. Certainly my male friends and i have been inclined to think that girls with bigger clits are more orgasmic. And it is a bit sad that clits can be difficult to observe.
Even sadder that wetness isn't a reliable indicator of female arousal but more a female response to imminent penile penetration which makes sense to avoid injury.
Really I think after action reviews is about the only way to address this. "It felt really good when you xxx" and "That really got me aroused". Sex in a basic way is pretty straight forward but I think unless we have these afterwards wrap ups it limits learning.
Example It hasn't been unusual for a girl to put her hands on my butt and seem to press/pull me forward. Does that mean she wants me to thrust harder or push against her. How important is this to her sensory experience? I can't know if she doesn't tell me.
Girls seem to be reluctant to have these discussions.
Yes sex is an art , you should learn it
they probably do not liste to their partners and just do what they think their partner wants.
Or they watch porn and think that is what women like.
Obviously, because women REFUSE to tell us what they want!! You've got more buttons and levers to push and diddle with than we do and we are NEVER given a road map or an instruction manual to learn HOW those doodads work!!
To make it harder, it's NOT a one-size-fits-all deal!! Each woman has different likes, needs and pleasures!!
The common denominator here is you. You picked these 16 losers who were only looking to use you as a cum dumpster. There's plenty of guys that are willing to please their girlfriend or the girl they have sex with, but some women pick the guys who don't have to give a shit because they have 50 other girls they're bouncing around with. Why would a guy with 49 other options care if you were satisfied? He probably doesn't even look at your face or remember your name. You are in charge of who you let into your pussy, and so far you've described losers. Don't blame men in general, blame yourself for choosing to have sex with those losers.
Here is the thing, to complain won't solve anything, but to teach that solves many things. If ladies never say anything to the guy then the guy won't know he is bad, also if the lady complain but never tell him what and how to fix it then he won't know how to fix it. I guide a lady to teach her how to do something better during sex and Im open for the lady to guide me. And that is how I have learned to hit the exact spots and stuff that one lady likes, and then I learned from the next and so on. Some times these things I have learned can be used on others. But some like it this way and others like it that way. So I say both should learn how to take time to learn about each other.
Yes you are correct
I also have done mustabation just after doing sex bcz of this problem
I totally agree with you that a lot of men are misinformed and can be very selfish lovers. I happen to love foreplay and making out I always include giving oral in foreplay and see to it that she has at least 2 or 3 orgasms before vaginal penetration even occurs. Some men attack the clit if they can find it way to early before it's even engorged and aroused and for some women this can actually hurt and the inner labia is directly connected to the clit hood and by using his lips a guy can gently pull on the inner labia and make the clit hood slide back and forth on the clit or lick the clit hood to cause some motion of the hood on the clit. It's far more enjoyable for a woman to feel penetration and their vagina being filled with a hard cock when highly aroused and their clits already buzzing from orgasm. I enjoy doing all this because it not only pleasures her but it turns me on too. Nothing I love to hear more then her moans of pleasure whether they're soft or loud moans.
If after 16 people, none of them could please you, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are the one who sucks in bed.
You wanna know why YOU can't get anyone whose good at sex? Finger it out.
If you were the common denominator after 16 partners, then the problem is probably you.
Who the heck are you dating? What are your criteria for going to bed with a guy?
They might all suck… I can’t deny that, but you are still picking these guys.
You’re not going to change whole groups of men. You can change the groups of men with whom you have sex.
Who you are attracted to is not necessarily your best option, because, who you were attracted to are men who do not please you.
I just ask that you consider that.
Do many guys suck at pleasing their partner? Absolutely. You get to choose who gets in bed with you. It’s easier to change one person then 16.
that's like complaining why your badminton partner is so bad. you should train together to get good together. and if you can't make it work with a person, you should pick another person.
You might need to work on communicating with your partner. I know some guys cum to fast, but most guys I have been with are eager to listen when I am ready to share and feel like I can have these kinds of conversations with them.
saying all men are bad in bed makes it sound like you have slept with them all.
Very cool observation. And a very necessary one I would say
Well you would have no trouble with me. I love to learn if the communication is open. I’ll give you an example - my wedding night. (Now I don’t know if this has any bearing on this story but my wife is traditional Chinese. I’m sure she knew how sex worked but she didn’t even masturbate according to her. Matter of fact when we were dating she experienced the full power of her clitoris when I licked her clitoris giving her her first orgasm. She enjoyed that immensely. 😉). Now - My wife and I were both virgins and she was really excited. My 6.2 inch long erecting penis was ready to go and I was wearing a condom - Safety first! 😉. I kissed her and then gently squeezed her breasts and sucked on her nipples making them as erect as my penis was. She gently pulled my head up with both her hands and said put your penis into my vagina. I positioned myself and she gently grabbed my penis and directed it in. I gently and slowly inserted myself and……boy was she wrong! Just the head of my penis went in and it felt like a truck entering as tunnel too small for it and scraping the sides. She winced and said take it out quick! I did and to reinstate the mood we did 69 and I gave her an orgasm. In her panting state I asked her do you want to try again? She said yes. I said do you want me to put some lube on just in case? She said good idea. Well I did and we tried again. Nope! I got in a bit more than just the head of my penis but she winced again and said take it out it’s burning me! I got some toilet tissue and cleaned the lube up as best as I could. She was still weak from that 69 orgasm I gave her. She thanked me and she said she was sorry. I said don’t worry we got a Lot of time to make it work. 🙂. She kissed me and said she was tired but she knew I needed to orgasm. She said I’m so sleepy I’m sorry I can’t help you. You need to go sit on the toilet and masturbate. Well I took off the condom and threw it away in the trash. I then followed her advice and sat on the toilet and wrapped some toilet paper around my penis and masturbated and ejaculated into the toilet paper. I cleaned up and flushed the semen filled toilet paper down the toilet. I got into bed beside her and she was asleep. I kissed her and looked at my new wedding band and her not disappointed what happened but happy she is my wife.
Fast forward a few months we repeatedly kept trying penis in vagina sex. We went to ob-gyn and asked what went wrong, why she wasn’t getting wet. Doc said try other lubes. Which we did. And she has the nuvaring put into her. Finally we got one a lube and Success! We were both happy but I was on top and she just laid like a bump on a log - no movement. I said girl you got to move with me so there’s mutual feeling between our bodies. Well bless her she tried but she gave out of energy and told me to continue. Well I finally did it - I ejaculated into her vagina successfully. I said I think I did it! She said she thought she was supposed to feel when I ejaculated into her? I said don’t believe everything you read or hear from other people. She said are you sure you did? I slowly pulled my penis out still erect and she saw it glistening covered in semen and she said wow you did it! Congratulations! I said thanks but We did it! She said yes I know you and your penis did it. I lightly laughed and said No We did it - You and me. She smiled and kissed me. She then took a shower and it’s so small it can only fit one person. I waited for my turn and cleaned my penis as best as I could with toilet paper and flushed the toilet paper down the toilet. She got out and I took my shower while she peed on the toilet and I’m guessing that all my semen was expelled while she peed and flushed it all down the toilet.
I can post more like when it was time to have our son if you like 👍🙂