Whenever there is a large imbalance of power there is an opportunity for abuse. This fact is recognized by societies in many ways, and societies work to address these imbalances through laws and customs. For instance, there are special laws that protect the elderly and the sick from their caregivers. There are laws to protect the handicapped from those who would exploit them. In some cases there are no laws, but there are customs that subtly punish or discourage abuse. Hebephilia is one of those situations.
While an adolescent is *nominally* able to make adult decisions, their capacity to do so, *especially* in the face of an older adult's drive and manipulation, is limited.
To understand this, just look at the difference between an 11 y. o. and a 15 y. o. in many situations, the 15 y. o. would be able to browbeat, coerce, or otherwise manipulate the 11 y. o. *especially* if there were no adults to monitor the situation. Be honest with yourself. If there was an 11 y. o., and you really wanted him or her to do something, even something that they would never normally do, and there were no adults around to catch you, don't you think you could get them to do it?
This same dynamic exists between a 15 y. o. and a 34 y. o. *Most* people get a little more self-assured, every year. Most people learn how to persuade a little bit better every year. Every year you become a little more certain of what you want, and a little bit better at getting other people to work with you. This is *not* a bad thing, any more than getting physically stronger is a bad thing, but, just as with physical strength, it can be used to hurt others.
Because of that power/strength imbalance there is always the reasonable concern that such relationships are 100% consensual. Has the young woman really consented, and did she do so with full knowledge and understanding of the ramifications of her decision.
This is especially This is especially important is industrial societies where people, especially women, have more options. It's hard for anyone nowadays to understand, but life, even only 200 years ago was very bleak. You basically farmed or herded until you died. what difference did it make if you farmed or herded with an older man or a younger man? Either way you had babies until you died, or if you survived, until you were too old or infertile to have more. Then you stayed alive working until you died - usually around 50.
I think when there's that much of an age difference the guy is gonna be pretty controlling or gets off on the idea of it or exploits the fact that they are young and naive. 16 is the age of consent here which is fine for like 16-21 year olds but past is a bit uhh.
Would you advice the girl to stay away from him since he is way past 21? She being aware of him wanting to exploit her, but liking the fact too?
yes you are only going to get burned when you tempt fate like that.
Sure the "experience" won't be worth the consequences? Sorry if I ask too many questions..
From a legal perspective it has to do with the age of consent determined by the courts of law in your particular state, province, territory, region, or country. Someone below the age of consent is widely seen to be unable to consent due to the fact that they have not (in that particular education system) been officially taught about the implications of sex on their life, how to go about having a healthy sex life in a safe way, and whether or not they are mature enough/how to know they are ready.
From a personal perspective I don't see anything wrong with a relationship that's very distant in age, although from a psychological perspective there are a sickening amount of cases of adults above the age of 28 up to 68 seeking partners more than 18 years or younger, then disposing of them when they reach an age older than 21.
Because it makes no sense how a 34 year old could think they are on the same maturity wave length as a 16 year old unless there is something mentally wrong with the 34 year old. Two COMPLETE different life stages. At 16 you are not even a adult so how does a relationship with a 34 year old make logical sense. It is adult with a child basically... fcked up to me.
Because a 34 year old is old enough to know what he wants and what he's doing a 16 year old is manipulated and easy to persuade because they don't really know what they want or even who they are at that age.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Hebephiles? That's called a Pedophile in the USA. In a lot of states if she's <18 even if she consents/her family gives the guy permission he would still be arrested. Even a <18 yr old send nude pictures will get in trouble along with him.
There is no simple answer. Sometimes such relationships are 100% consensual. But there's always a question whether the young woman is really consenting. In some religious communities teen-age girls are pressured into relationships with older men by their parents or community. Or they may be consenting but are still badly used by the older man. I had two friends, both 18-ish, who got involved with, then married and pregnant by an older man. Both ended up raising their children alone because their husband was an overgrown child.
15 and 16 isn't hebephillia.
As long as both are legal age of consent and they aren't hurting anyone else let alone each other then let them live their lives the way they want
I was in my mid 20s when I was with a woman who was 60, I was in my late 20s when I was with a woman who was 16
There are plenty of 16 years olds that are sexually attractive. I wouldn't act on it, but I can recognize that some of them are sexually attractive. I would think any man who disagrees with me is lying tbh.
It's really simple, children should not be seen as sexual objects. Adults need to let children retain their innocence and experience childhood from a children's perspective. As for consent, a child cannot consent as they do not understand what it is that they are consenting to, the long term consequences both physical and emotional are beyond heir capability to understand.
Because such young people are easily being manipulated and it's difficult to judge when they are and when not. Thus the laws in many countries decided its better to protect all of that age-range at the expense of some who are mature enough than vice-versa.
they're kids and they're most likely to be exploited/manipulated
I think an age gap like that is fine if it is going to be a relationship, but there are things you should consider.
Are you going to want to live together and start a family in the near future? He probably will want that.
Are you going to go to college in your current location so you can still spend frequent time together?
Is he okay with you not having an income to contribute until you finish school?
Is he in good enough physical shape and healthy enough to raise kids to adulthood by the time you actually want to have any?
You should consider all of that before making a decision.
Hebephilia is categorized as attraction towards 11~14 year olds and it is generally considered a facet of pedophilia.
Attraction towards 15 year olds and older is not classified as anything, as most people around that age are sexually mature already.
Past that point it is only statutory rape, should your country have a higher age of consent.
@Kuraj
"Attraction towards 15 year olds and older is not classified as anything, as most people around that age are sexually mature already."
Actually, it IS called something: Ephebophilia
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia
And, no, they are not sexually mature, but reproductively capable. There are still body changes to come such as flaring out of female hips.
@abc3643 It is called a "thing", but unlike hebephilia and pedophilia, ephebophilia is not classified as a pathological condition and frankly, "ephebophilia" is just a fancy word to call normal human behavior. Also, sexual maturity is literally the capacity of an organism to reproduce. Stop making up your own definitions.
That's reproductive maturity and does not reflect comoletion of secondary sexual characteristics.
If it's legal and consenting then I really don't have much of an objection. I suspect most of the opposition comes from roast beef Arby's employees who are mad that he's getting a, "fresh product" instead of settling.
Because that's really nasty especially since the 34 year old can easily manipulate the 16 year old.
The age of consent is important - but the maturity of the youth is critical, at that stage, people are not generally well informed to make adult decisions well - this creates a power imbalance in the relationship, which can and often does, make the youth succeptable to suggestion and pressure far more than is healthy.
Because a child of 5 can grant consent it's not about willing consent it's about the understand and knowledge of what your engaging in its meaning and consequences
Hebephiles? Now what the actual fuck is that?
I've just got to use Google,
Back in a minute ☝
Because some shoe signs of sexual maturity doesn't make them mature. They still have to grow mentally and physically first. Someone can easily lie and manipulate a child to do as they like, it's called grooming 👌
16 year old guy or 16 year old girl
Girl
Love is love.! Isn't it the exact thing that TRANSGENDERs say? and u know transgenders ain't disrespectful or being hated at all!
So it goes about hebephiles! Let the PEOPLE gfts. 😁
If he missed out on sex with a woman as a teen he might still want the experience. People are hateful because they'd considered him a loser in this situation since virgin shaming is always going to exist for men
Because they're minors
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