Why are straight men so bad at oral sex?

I love my boyfriend, but when he goes down on me let's just say it's not great
1 5

Superb Opinion

  • If he doesn't really want to do it and it's more of a chore, he won't try to be good. You can't make him want it, that's the thing. Conversely, as sod's law would have it, us oral-giving enthusiasts rarely find ladies that want it often enough or long enough, or more like both. I have yet to meet a woman that will want to be orally pleasured 4-5 times every day, even if for 10 minutes, certainly not for 30-60 minutes each time. Some guys actually dream of being full-time live-in pussy-eaters.

    And with practice comes perfection. Which takes into account (indeed, is based on the fact) that every lady is different, and even the same woman will want different things on different days and even at different times. So it helps if she knows how to communicate her actual needs so we can serve her in the best possible way. It just seems like you're not super-great at this communication thing, but most likely, she does not truly enjoy doing it, otherwise he's pay attention to your cues, your voice (or lack thereof), your movements, etc.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe it's not straight men who are bad at oral sex as much as it's your boyfriend who is bad at oral sex.

    Solution: Help him know what you like. Give him some guidance (even if it's just in your reactions). But basically, don't bitch about this... do something about it. Do you think he wants to be giving you oral sex you don't enjoy? Do you think he has any idea you feel the way you do about it? Don't you think he would be willing to do things differently if he knew that's what you wanted?

    I feel like this is at least as much your fault as his. How do you think it'll ever change unless you communicate this to him.

    -On behalf of "straight men" broadly.

    • Bravo!

    • @OlderAndWiser Thanks 🙂

    • You said EXACTLY what I would have said!

Most Helpful Girls

  • That’s because men and women’s objective during sex is very different. Women want to make their partners satisfied. So they tend to be more attentive to pleasuring thier partner. Men on the other hand tend to just want to please themselves. So when you apply this to oral sex, and keep in mind that oral sex is giving pleasure not receiving pleasure, men tend to not care about it because there’s nothing in it for them. Women will derive pleasure from giving other pleasure. I love giving oral to women and have found that the better I am at it the more women will want to fuck me. So I tend to see it as a long term strategy vs a short term gratification. 😉

  • Hey girl? Communicate your needs to him clearly. I heard this one time from a friend “ it dosnt matter how experience you are. One bj that blows one guys mind won’t for another. That’s when we need to tell them “ hey babe I’m more sensitive her, slow that tongue longer harder stokes! This is where you can teach him to serve your unique body!

    Why fake an orgasm when you can give him pussy boot camp & dress the part! Be his teacher, CEO! Have fun with it!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • My husband is really goog at doing that for me.

    • good not goog

    • 🤣🤣🤣👍🤷‍♂️

  • My boyfriend's very good at it. Most of my sample size was high school and college guys and most of them were terrible. The effort was usually there, they just weren't good. But I imagine any experienced guy has become good at it.

    • True. Any guy who is new to it is likely to do poorly. But when you let them know what works for you, if they want to please you they will do that. And then take what they have learned to any future partners.

  • What do you say to him? Does he know how he can be better?
    gay men give better oral?

  • Because most of them won't take the time to learn their partners and even if they do its a struggle for them to learn even with a woman giving directions

    • Probably true that most won't take the time to learn, but guy who want to learn and do their best should be able to do well. But sometimes even the gal does not know what works best for them. I learn a lot from the reactions I get to what I do. And some women will learn from the guy. Some I have been with found out things about themselves that they had never experienced and loved including those things in future oral.

  • Most have heard to much lockeroom bs, go in with a preset idea of " this is the best way" and don't try things till they notice a girls reaction, or maybe they just simply pay no attention to her ques and just do what they want to do.

    I just don't like to go down cause it's like the one thing I'm like a germophobe about, It's just like never clean enough for me, it's not my thing. I'm gonna work on it cause I feel bad getting oral and not giving it, I did it decent once, seems real similar to fingering, find that grain of sand, tiny hard spot in the clit (at least on my girl) and barely flick it side to side with gentle pressure. Of course throw in other things here and there, seems to excite her more when she dosent know whats coming, but that's the main thing

    • Of course it dosent help that toady guys are to homophobic to suck that clit like the tiny dick it is, if they thought of it as a tiny dick and remembered what they like they might be better at it.