Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

Are women dirty with all men or do they do things with some sexual partners they wouldn't with others - e.g. anyone who has good traits like being a long term friend or boyfriend material?

If a girl did particular sex acts in the past with others, enjoyed those things just fine, but with you she wants a different kind of relationship? Those past relationships were fun, sexual, kinky, non-serious, and she wanted to get that out of her system, but now with someone who is kinder, sweeter and a great confident good guy, why not you?

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

She gave her full sexuality to someone less good and is giving a mere portion of that to you?

UNDER THE GUISE OF COMPLIMENTING YOU?

How is acting more innocent versus more suggestive a compliment? It makes little sense that you would open up sexually to a guy who isn't a greater guy?

So you, a better, more loving partner that she cares about more and is more serious about experiences less of her sexuality?

WHY DO WOMEN COMPARTMENTALIZE GUYS?

It boggles us, yet seems to make perfect sense to some women. Every man is a different kind of relationship for a woman, and it seems natural to her to want one kind of relationship with one guy, and a completely different kind of relationship with you???

Why would she not want to be her dirty self with you and enjoy such sex acts as getting a facial, doing it doggy style, having her hair pulled, maybe being tied up and being called a "slut"?

Some might say those sex acts she enjoyed previously or experimented with wouldn’t be enjoyable with you, because she’s having an entirely different relationship experience with you.

We’re smart enough to know that this signifies a lack of respect. But women don’t get that. In a woman’s mind, having a completely different sex life with a brash guy from the past, versus her attractive gentleman is normal?

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

Isn't it just crazy?

Answer this, and the lightbulb will switch on in your mind:

If you really want a good charming guy, then why do you not give yourself sexually and stop acting innocent with really great guys?

1. Would a great guy be able to do dirty things with her on day 1?


2. Would her charming guy friend be able to hit on her when she become single (having met her when she had a bf)?


3. Would that guy be able to be kinky with her?


4. Would a brash guy be able to get away with more in bed - e.g. whilst giving him head, can he call her a "dirty slut" and it's fine, whereas the other guy can't?


5. How can you justify the paradox of "he doesn't show interest" when he's being good and he's being too sexual if he states he finds you attractive? Yet a brash guy who isn't long term friend or boyfriend material can do anything they want? Then at the end you expect a good guy who has been essentially punished to not want to experiment or have sex with others???

JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS BOYFRIEND MATERIAL DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO boyfriend THEM

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

You meet countless people in life. But given all the mind games women play on decent men, essentially you have a situation where great sex is not had amongst great men and women. You seem to think "men will lose respect for you if you act less innocent". That's total BS. A good friend would still be your friend after you sleep together. The great guy you sleep with after a first date will feel relaxed that you are a sexual woman and not someone who plays games.

Why then do you open up so quickly to a brash guy who isn't kind, doesn't text sweet stuff and isn't someone who you could know for a long time?

You can have a far better sexual experience with a great guy friend than a brash friend or stranger

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

Often decent men are far far better in bed than some brash guy who has to peacock himself out of insecurity in a compensating manner

IS SEX REALLY THAT CHEAP TO YOU?

It seems perverse you'd think that brash guys would be better in bed when a connecting experience with someone who is hot and decent would be a truly sensual dirty experience.

*** [You may be referred to the 3 star if you post a silly comment!] On top of that, please don't give the alpha guy excuse. Often the true alphas are good men. Not someone who posts a picture of himself surrounded by many women and posts spiel about how you need to be "confident" and "have game". Oh what knowledge! As if everyone on earth doesn't already know that! Most of the people who post that are nothing more than jerks who have no success with women or many friends for that matter. Don't let them get to you guys or girls.

Is it true though that some women simply subconsciously get turned on by guys who don't give a damn about them in the bedroom? Cos a decent guy would go to town to make it about her and thereby increase both of their pleasure. Often brash guys simply go in to the bedroom in what is assisted jerking off, where the female is there purely for his pleasure.

So do women get turned on sucking off a (fake) alpha's D? Can the brash guy get away with saying more degrading things?

Why do a lot of women label people (especially guys) into categories?

Frankly, if you're a friend, anything is possible when the following criteria are met. You are single. I am single. That's it.

So.......

1. If I met you when you had a boyfriend. Then you're single. I would consider you dateable if you are attractive and a really nice girl. But what would you think of me if we met like that in a context where we keep in touch in a social circle?

2. If you met me when I was taken and then I become single, likewise, at that point, anything can happen.

3. If you are taken, I am taken or both of us are, then obviously then you're not an option. (No cheating)

4. I do not label people as "just friends" that can never be anything more.

5. I don't label people as "hook up material" or "girlfriend material".

Personally the best kinky sex and the best sex would be with a really great girl who is nice. So a "girlfriend material" girl to me, having sex within 1 minute doesn't make her any less of a nice girl. It makes her much more of one for being refreshing and not playing games!

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

I can't see why girls play games with great guys. Especially texting. Ever heard of the girl who text you how you are, you respond, and then silence?

Or your female friend "read" your message on a chat app and didn't reply or replied way later with some BS excuse of being busy (despite her last seen being later than when she read it)? But that's a whole another question!

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?
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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Because the short-term material guys are quicker at attempting to sleep with us.

  • Number one reason is that many millennial women are stupid. Then there are a long list of reasons why women are into those type of guys. They are usually bad (f***) boys. They are hot, exciting, never give a damn about anything or anyone, they make their own rules, blah blah blah. At the end, women KNOW these type of men make bad partners and even worse spouses. Women are usually in denial. Some women just has to have these type of men, probably because those same women who are not long-term material themselves.

    I think the MAIN reason why women make such (poor) choices is due to approval and ego reasons. Women LOVE it when friends and people she knows of praising such a "great" guy she is dating. They want to hear from others how cute her relationship is with her man. When I say great, I mean guys with status, most likely with good looks and a bad boy attitude. Coincidentally, NOT ALL, but more often than not, these men are not long-term material. I have almost never seen anyone going crazy over a woman dating an average good guy. Rarely women think being with an average guy is "cute" or special.

    • I know a guy who constantly cheats on his girlfriend. Meta girl who lives right across by him and she fell so much for him that she introduced him to her mother over dinner. Just LOL. Women idea of GOOD MEN is no the same as MEN.

    • So say we all yellow mamba. But I think a great/good guy is a confident, charming, funny and flirty guy. Also good looking. So I don't see why this guy gets punished over some troll like thuggish guy or else a brash friend. Makes no sense. So why would a great guy friend with those qualities be given an innocent persona and a brash guy has her posing like a model? Yet she likes the great guy more? Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • @BubbleBoy69 I can't really understand, so what is a good man?

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  • You have an overactive imagination, that's for sure.

    • Ok, what about: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

  • Google this: hypergamy
    This will answer your question.
    Then go read the first two years' blogs of Rollo Tomassi here: www.therationalmale.com
    This will change your outlook dramatically.

    • I love that site, yes I've already checked that stuff out. But it's not really addressing my question. What do u make of this: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • I would simply tell her that now that she's single you want to meet up and catch up. See where it goes from there. If she's unwilling to even see you then you didn't mean anything to her anyway. Don't be afraid to ask. If you've been FZ'd it may not make any difference. Women love beta-orbiters - especially the validation queens. She may not be all that you dream her to be - but simply what you've conjured up in your mind what you want her to be. IRL she may be a real drag, or simply incompatible. Pretty much every beautiful woman has some guy that is just sick and tired of her bullshit. So, why did she 'become single'? Remember, a woman that wants to be with you will crawl through broken glass and break all the rules to be with you, whether she has a boyfriend or not. If she doesn't she'll make up a new rule or excuse every day why she can't. You can't negotiate desire or attraction - it's either there or it isn't.

    • Yeah she is moving back, so catching up is fine, but logistics wise, there are mutual friends she has to see as well who might live in the vicinity of our catch up. What's a clear way to ask for a SOLO catchup? And what if you were invited to a group one? I don't think it is friend zone in this case. You can't exactly avoid being assigned by your university to a project group for a course. And it's not my fault I met her when taken. We're not besties, but sure we hit it off and have a rapport. I'm not some texting buddy or fb buddy everyday chatting. When we text we do have a great convo and she seems genuinely excited to hear from me or to find out about me and tell me news. Agreed on the rule and glass thing. But please SPECIFIC advice to my situation as described? Solo meet text?

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  • Just don't date those women. Those women are not worth your time.

    • Yeah point, but it seems lots of nice women do this type of thing. Even: 1. Reading a great guy friend's text - he sees it's read and sees she's been online often enough through her last seen or whatever. No doubt responding to less decent people. And delaying responding to him. 2. Posing like a model with a brash friend and innocent with the handsome great guy friend 3. Some women letting brash guys call them a slut in bed and being dirty from the go. What do you make of the "So" section and the first point if a guy met a girl that way. In the context of uni where he can't avoid her given he works with her. Then after graduating they keep in touch, occasionally meet and text. Then she becomes single. Is he an option given HOW they met and what to do?

    • Well?

    • Nothing lol?

  • Very important that your new man does not know you're sexual past, it can fuck it all up no matter how long u been together..

    I probably dumped somewhere around 10 girls i could of married from just knowing their sexual past..
    Guys want to think they're the 1st ones..
    You dont want to be hitting that shit doggystyle knowing some foo been there already fuck that im straight

    • Wow is it that serious?

    • You're cute franky <3

    • @samanthaa4life No

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  • I don't think it's so black and white like that

    • Ya! We are waaaaaay more complicated than that jajajaja

    • @DancingGirl lol some are

    • @DancingGirl Well yeah but cite points from the take and explain your view.

  • lol first, i'm not. I get pretty comfortable with sex when i dated somebody.
    Second, so you are basically saying that i have to sleep with my guy friends or any other guys that i friendzoned? Dude... you just can't stand the fact that girls who are not interested in you or have any sexual interested in you friendzoned you!
    Because being nice clearly isn't enough. We need to feel the attraction and passion towards each other! And yes, i said "we", not just you!

    • @FrankieSoThicknLong lol i know some girls would bang their guy friends, but not me. FRIEND IS FRIEND!

    • Sigh, first, good for you if you don't do it. Second, I don't think you read the take. I never mentioned you have to sleep with every friend. What I said was if you had a charming guy in your social circle who is attractive, it seems odd you would only be innocent to him. In the scenario explained in the "So.." section in the take. You meet at uni when you already have a boyfriend. The guy doesn't voice attraction out of respect. You still know each other years later and you become single. Now at this point, is the guy an option and can he tell you you're hot? Thirdly on your point on being "nice", agreed, but I spoke of "good guys" in the take, those who are witty, funny, charming, confident and also GOOD people, not some brash fake "alphas". Please read the take and my points and provide opinion. I have not been friend zoned by anyone, and I think the term itself is disrespectful to the person you claim to do it to, guy or girl.

    • What is brash fake alpha. ?

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  • i was serious about every relationship i've ever had that had any kind of sexualness. serious as in i wanted to commit and hoped they would.

  • Ooof i don't even need to read down to notice all the butthurt going on.

    • What? Ok separate question: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • It the comments there is butthurt.

    • Ok thoughts on my point to you?

  • To be fair, I compartmentalize women.
    There are women I see as, short-term flings, and other I would love to bring home.

    But, I do agree on many things. I hate when girls try and become something they never were. For example, when a girl acts all innocent and thoughtful, and holds out for like 3months, when she used to sleep around after 3 hours. I get it people change, but I judge people on their past actions and experiences.

    • I don't get why though. I wouldn't sleep with a bitchy or attention seeker at all. I've had such women throw themselves at me. I'd only sleep with a nice woman. Whether or not we carry on and make babies is something else entirely. I agree that it's completely wrong to have a double standard. What about this: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • Well I have been friends with girls who had partners and when they broke up I was there ready to smash It's called building relationships. Whether or not they lead to sex.

    • Yes this is what I want! So I have built up rapport. So how do I do what you're doing now she is moving back? Firstly how/should I meet her solo versus in a friend catchup group thing when she returns soon? How do you phrase that by text and how do you progress to das smashing? Especially if she is innocent? Also there is commuting involved by the way, so have to plan to meet up?

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  • For the EXACT same reason men are only sexual with women who aren't long-term material.

    • That's not true... at all.

    • It is for a large majority (I've found) and especially for me. Hypothetically, I wouldn't even dream of doing one night stand with a man I would be dying to marry/be in a relationship. A man I'm not particularly enamored/in love with would fall into a night stand category (If I were that type of woman). Slutty women don't count because they'll sleep with anything.

    • Yep this.

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  • Let me simplify it for you.

    Hookups: They want a guy who will fuck them good and leave without them asking

    Long term: They want a guy who will fuck and spoil but will stay without them asking.

    • You mean every long term guy suck in bed? lol

    • @YourFutureEx Where did I say that?

    • @YourFutureEx What a silly point. He never said that!

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  • Real men know to unleash all her inabitions gradually. With new reproach and inivative ideas. Heighten and showcase each individual one into a new development.

    • Ok, erm thanks for that. But not sure it addressed my question. Let me pick your brain: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • First of all , you can only be a vessel in her life , for her to continue her journey. Secondly , if you really want her , you'll have to (take ) her your self. Go to her and bring her home with you. All the while though , allowing her to just be herself , with you in the picture. She won't show you validity towards your love , though you might expect it from her. Just make it happen !!

    • Dude this just sounds like some promo for a film lol or HR spiel. Give me actual concrete examples of what to do. Saying things like "continue in her journey" and "take her for yourself", anyone can say that. That's obvious right? What do I actually physically do.

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  • Dimmu, I agree with Stacy and don't understand your last sentence. But I couldn't follow you because my answers too long. Stacy is correct and you, well I don't understand your last sentence. If we stay the same we don't mature we do not grow and we do not learn. Our approach to men certainly changes over time and I see it myself. Not bragging I am for cooler far more mature far more sexual than the giggly 16-year-old I used to be. If you look at some of the attitudes of the guys on this website you can readily understand why some of us are hesitant to go far out sexually and then be ridiculed by the supposed decent guys. I'm 25 I am not looking for a husband. I will long way to go in school before I'm ready to settle down. I therefore think I'm a perfect example of how I approach sexual relations with men. And I believe I am no different than the vast majority of intelligent mature women. Here goes. If I am attracted to a guy to the extent that sexual relations are going to occur and I know it then it doesn't matter if it's the first date of the 20th date I go all out. Because that's what I want! I repeat that, because that's what I want, not what he wants and not what is expected of me. I don't hold back because he's a nice guy. In the first place I wouldn't be fucking him if he wasn't a nice guy. So the ass hole gets none of me. And I want none of him!
    So now the question comes down to if I don't think he's long-term do I change what I do. I do not believe that I change nor do I believe any woman changes depending on the guy. Sex is best done by two people, not one. Since I am not looking for a long-term relationship like marriage I am not in the habit of judging guys for what will they mean in 45 years. Remember everything I'm saying I believe applies to most women. I do not believe that the college-educated intelligent woman puts men into various mailboxes. Mailbox number one is sex uncontrollable, mailbox number two is sex with no emotion etc. etc. we do what we feel like doing. That is the difference between men and women in my opinion.

    • Sex is not just a mechanical thing. It's fun it's enjoyable it's stress relief but there is an emotional component and that is unique to women. Guys eventually get there I hope but for women that component is present all the time. It is that emotional component that you were complaining about. You may call me a slut and perhaps I am but I am an emotional slut. It is that feeling you cannot disregard in a woman. I will That is the difference between men and women in my opinion. Sex is not just a mechanical thing. It's fun it's enjoyable it's stress relief but there is an emotional component and that is unique to women. Guys eventually get there I hope but for women that component is present all the time. It is that emotional component that you were complaining about. You may call me a slut and perhaps I am but I am an emotional slut.

    • It is that feeling you cannot disregard in a woman. I will hang from the chandeliers if the emotion is there. I may not even know it until I see myself ha hanging from the chandelier. And it has nothing to do with long-term or short-term or potential husband. It has to do with the guy and what he does for me at that time. I rest my case

    • Excellent reply. Where have you been all my life Frenchy haha? The point I make though is decent guys are by definition decent guys. Someone who pretends to be isn't decent. So in this case, I'm talking about the more decent guys in your social circle versus the brash ones in a social circle. So both guys are guys you know. The first is really uplifting, and as well as being attractive (maybe more so than the brash guy) is sweet, a gentleman etc. The brash one is more of a social media objectifier, in your face, and not anywhere near as sweet, eloquent or good. Even the good guy, why do you assume he has to be a boyfriend. Who is to say he doesn't want the same things as you, to have fun? As a good guy, I'd much rather have fun with a nice sweet girl I know. In fact, I don't want to be with bitchy attention seekers (the equivalent of the brash guy) or people I don't find as sweet. I would be my total dirty self and show affection to the sweet girl.

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  • It's simple, if you don't want to put up with her shit there will be someone else that will.

    Hell 2dai we had a talk about why that 1 guy doesn't join the teamspeak server. You know what the leader told me? Dat dood was once there but long time not cause his wife doesn't want him to talk with other people.
    Dood I would instantly drop such a wife/girl

    • OK what if she's a friend, like in the So section. She has only slept with her boyfriend, tho she does the poses with the brash guys. Can the guy in point 1 be perceived well and how?

    • dahell, if you want her to do you hard get wild on you you tell her that its the stuff you like and if she doesn't like that you tap that untill you feel like what she's giving is not enough

    • Let me clarify: a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN? Pls explain HOW

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  • Think about this: because you are worrying about the type of sex you might not get from a woman, you are getting absolutely NO sex from a woman.

    • Are you just pasting some quote down? Did you actually READ the take lol?

  • You can;t base your personality on appealing to the complicated thought [processes of women. You just have to fulfill your own desires. That's why you have them.

    • Yes but it's hard if you're essentially interacting with the proverbial wall of women behaving innocent to you just because you happen to be decent to them. Cite the take and explain your point. And the So section point 1?

    • Useless

  • Huh, well now I'm starting to wish I could show this article to a the girls who neglected me for not fitting into some social norm or stereotype, but then I'm sure I would get cursed out. Logic.

    • Please do, and to ALL FLAKY friends. It seems like the best way to have a girl attracted to you is to bang her friends. Seriously tho what about this: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

  • The amount of questions in this myTake are too damn high... Why not ask question (s) instead of writing a women-bashing myTake

    • It's not women bashing. If anything it i fake alpha bashing. I think you answered your own point. For a start you haven't answered any of my questions here. And have you seen people responding on this site? They just post rubbish which isn't anything to do with your question. If you call them up on it, they have no shame and block you. It's an utter waste of time. Pls help me out on point 1 of the So section

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