Why asking why he/she ghosted me?

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Have you ever considered about the "content" of the conversations between you and that person? Maybe it's something you told him/her, and that is a deal breaker. So I think we should say it clearly at the beginning what we are looking for, to save our precious time. Move on to meet someone new who prioritizes you as a potential partner.

For example from my experience, a man ghosted me when he asked to see my tits. I sent him 2 semi-circles with 2 dots. And then he's gone silent. It's very clear what's on his mind.

Translation: I'm not your fap material. Respect me.

[Finchie40]

Some people are just overly sensitive and analyze things by overthinking what they heard , people tend to just assume things , if it doesn’t go their way then you automatically become pointless to that person , we live in a very judgmental world and social media has made a huge impact on how people think nowadays , Bottom line is we should just say what are intentions are when talking to someone nowadays but we get judged for that as well , People aren’t content anymore people
Constantly compare each other and their lives to others , respect for each other has been thrown out the window , if this person doesn’t say what I want them to say then I will move on to the next , that’s pretty much how it is these days , no one really wants to really get to know someone anymore they just want what’s only best for them everyone’s reputation is judged. That guy asking to see your tits , at that moment he saw a beautiful girl and thought let’s cut the small talk and let me see those tits , but since you didn’t give him what he wanted he moved on , As for you you probably thought he was a pervert and thought to yourself that you aren’t that way How dare him ask me for my tits? But by you sending those drawings he didn’t think it was funny so he moved on , me personally would of laughed my ass off and thought this girl has a sense of humor and tried to continue talking to you but again , people
That Ghost others are people that have their own insecurities and their own weaknesses , yes it leaves a question mark on our heads on why they suddenly disappeared but that’s just the way people are , they only do what’s best for them at that moment

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Haha. I admitted I can be very judgmental as well. But recently, I can be more aware of my thoughts and actions. Being conscious and it's easier to know what you are doing. I agreed with your mention about Social media. What I have learned so far, with the designs of those sites, you wil be shown certain posts from other users by the logarithm or records of your favorite contents you interact with frequently. It's not a direct communication and many people tend to take it personally. In the reality, they don't have to interpret anything because those posts might not be targetting on them. What matters more is talking to the person you're interested in directly, and show it you are consistent. But people these days learn to communicate with the mass via a tool all the time. Even expecting to get attention from all of them. (I was fooled by AI and whined about this before, so I must not fall into the trap again. 😅) And you're totally correct. We constantly compare our life to others' which they will never be the same. Everybody has their own style and different goals. Just watching some romantic movies/series and fantasize or romanticize the unrealistic relationship is sick enough. Being shown how great your "friends" relationship with their partners everyday is a real pressure, even for people who are not single themselves. It all affects someone somehow. That's why we are more depressing these days.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Lol. Thank you. At least, I don't lose anything to him, and take that as a lesson to not expect much. I used to overthink and mapped my questions like playing a chess when I find someone interesting. With a plan to express about myself to the person, I focused more on me. Now I just share and talk about whatever according to the conversation, and it's delightful. Yet, one thing that is very important. I still care a lot is how much and what I am asked by my date. If a man doesn't ask me about anything, even simple questions like "How are you?" No matter how he declares he likes you or misses you a lot, it's probably he is not that into you and lies. Thank you for your wisdom. Have a nice day!

[Finchie40]

Anytime , the bottom line is people nowadays have so much to choose from especially with social media at the palm of their hands at all times that people tend to want what they want , they set high standards of what they approve of they don’t really look at the person’s heart anymore it’s more of do they fit my description of what I am after, People don’t accept peoples flaws much anymore , especially on dating sites , I read some of the descriptions from girls that are on their and some of the things they demand I have to just SMH and laugh , I am sure guys do it as well but people have such high standards to the point of good luck trying to find someone , Girls won’t like a guy if he doesn’t have a beard , or if you are a Trump supporter swipe left , or if his body doesn’t look like the celebrity’s I am watching on tv etc. it cracks me up. People today are too self centered on how they look at things , if they don’t think like I do I have no interest in them that’s basically the bottom line on how this world is today people tend to accept the negatives over someone on top of the positives and they automatically assume things , that’s why I feel it’s better to meet someone in person so they get the full you , meeting someone on the internet is a slight chance you will really have a connection with someone because we have so much to choose from

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Yes. We seem to have lots of options nowadays. And it's sad since people don't treat others with respect, instantly dismissing them when something is not on the list. Well, I probably have a high standard myself, but I'm open to ideas and perspectives that are different from mine. Not values and morals. These have to be compatible. I think it's hard to grow and be mature if we just keep shuting down other opinions, and hold on to ours only.

[triff]

Well done I like your thinking Standing up to these pic collectors He ghosted because he knew he would get nothing sexual to add to his growing collection of saleable goods

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Thank you. Many girls aren't aware of this that it would cause something in the future. And they live like they can't find anyone else apart from that guy.

[triff]

I know these types of apps are ideal for getting the message out there

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Right. Well, it's possible for people who you meet in real life, too. I think it's because the Hookup Culture that more women think being sexual is liberating and empowering. It's not. And the more men encounter these women, the more they would assume all women are cheap.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Ha ha I love that! 🤣 I think ghosting happens a lot cuz a lot of people think it just harmless sexting fun that doesn't mean anything but to the other person it might, so they just ghost and move on to the next... Or they got busted by their IRL partner

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

That's really possible. Many people already have someone already, and just want to find an easy man/woman to hookup with.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right! And people Fall for it all the time

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Basically, I define it as Laziness. Cheap moves > instant gratification > no effort > The End.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Agree 💯 there

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for mh 💜🙂

[Anonymous]

because you doesn't give what he want. so ofc he ghost you

[Jolon_]

Huh?

[MrHopper]

I looked back, usually i get the idea... e. g. i chatted really well with a girl just friendly i work with and when she found out i had a girlfriend that was it... barely spoke to me again

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

She's a good person with moral. I agree with her.

[triff]

You should have appreciated what you have

[MrHopper]

i was just being friendly but clearly she wanted more. If she can't control her self then thats her issue really

[Tea-Spaghetti]

Well ok

[triff]

Sometimes it maybe nothing just a simple case of no signal or perhaps as we all do need space Maybe they want to break it off and take the cowards way out

[Bang5luts]

Not everything is so cut and dry. What about after a 3 year relationship? And your partner goes to see family and doesn't answer the phone or does call you?

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

That's another case. More info needed.

[Bang5luts]

@el_Te_de_la_Rosa I know it is another story. You are correct. I guess my original point was that there are times when asking why someone ghosted you is redundant and other times when we are left with no fucking clue. Other than we trusted someone by their word. That's a topic for a different discussion.

[Finchie40]

Exactly , I totally agree with this question as well and this reflects off of my answer as well , You can have a loving caring relationship with someone that they probably had great communication with each other , Always calling or texting each other telling them they miss each other happy and secure in their relationship and then one day your loving partner doesn’t make you a Priority anymore , you become a complete piece of shit to them leaving you guess what you said or did wrong , a question mark that sits on your head that won’t go away , why aren’t they calling me why aren’t they texting me? What are they up too? Why are they ghosting me all of a sudden? The truth of the matter is, the only way you can be happy and content is to realize that person that is ghosting you or acting shady , is something they have to live with realizing they are a selfish person , their actions is pretty much digging their own grave , we can’t force someone to love us or stand by us all we can do is guide them and treat them the same way we want to be treated , if they continue those actions all that is going to do is push you further away , my ex and I would get in arguments and she would leave and not tell me where she was going, leaving me with a question mark on my head, why did she have to leave hours would go by and I wouldn’t hear from her , Thinking that argument wasn’t that serious for her to disappear like that for a long time so I would think she was just using it as an excuse to leave , so when she pulled that shit , I just went and did my own thing , To the point she would be panicking on where my where abouts were , the only difference between her and I was I wasn’t childish like her by leaving , I would just walk into another room on the house and give her space , but when she get I. The car and leave that was my answer to get in mine and leave as well , she would eventually blow up my phone asking me where i am and I saw what do you care you left

[Finchie40]

Without telling me where you were so why do you care where I am? I would be at a bar having a few beers but I wouldn’t tell her lol She realized her action were digging her own grave , So when someone Ghosts you they are just digging their own grave is they way I look at it

[Bang5luts]

@Finchie40 right you are sir. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! I agree the only way to deal with this behavior is to not deal with it. Most people should know their own value and not beg for a person to be in their life. Be there or don't. Plain and simple.

[YHL6965]

I have not really experienced ghosting like that and I do my best so that the "break off" is as clear as possible, regardless of who is "initiating the break off". It's mainly so that things are clear and nobody has to ask themselves questions about what happened.