Why can’t men accept that women have sex drives too?

I can’t believe the ignorance I see on this site regarding sexual behavior especially from men. Whenever a woman posts about how she enjoys sex or wants to have sex with lots of guys (aka openly expressing her sexuality), men immediately shame her for it. They immediately call her a hoe, slut or thot. It amazes me how idiot a person can be and be also stuck in the 1800s’ logic. Why can’t men accept that women also have sexual needs? And if we want quantity, we want quantity. It’s not up to you to decide whether or not we can have lots of sex with different dudes. As long as it’s STD free I don’t mind if a person has sex. It’s human nature after all. Stop judging and get over your sour selves.
Updates:
+1 y
Why does it have to be "slutty"? The term slut roots from a sexist mind. Why does promiscuity have to be shamed? “Because STD!” No. There’s methods to prevent that. “Because pregnancy” there´s methods to prevent that. “Because slut shaming!” That would turn into a vicious cycle. Acting the opposite of how society wants u to act is how u break a bad social habit. Also what DOES increase your chances of cheating is letting that sexual frustration build up. Not being involved in sex a lot.
+1 y
Just another point I wanna make - Evolution doesn’t rule over our actions. If it did, I would have to tell all of you to eliminate your phones, tablets, computers, lightbulbs because NIGHTTIME, and to get naked. I would tell you to stop using toothpaste. BECAUSE EVOLUTION, and because “we never intended to be as clean as we are in this modern era.” Those arguing with evolution have nothing logical to say.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • First of all nobody needs to know about your sexual business and for you to say what you're saying that's pretty whorish regardless. Has nothing to do that men can accept it it's the fact that they accept it but they don't like women who does what you do. You want to have sex with multiple men that's up to you and that is your life your choice. But don't expect every and every guy to like women who does what you do. I don't even like men who sleep around and want to be menwhores either. You want to talk about people stop judging and get old self now I think you just need to keep your sexual business to yourself. Has nothing to do about being STD free has everything to do about what consequences comes with premarital sex and it damage your going to do. You think that sex doesn't affect people in it does. You think it doesn't affect you but it already is. When somebody cheats on you don't complain. When somebody doesn't want to help take care of the kids you can see together don't complain. When a guy don't want to pay for child support don't complain. When nobody wants to marry you don't complain. And if you ever do get married and somebody divorce you don't complain. First of all it is whorish to be doing what you doing because sex belongs in marriage and you're abusing sex as a whole. Has nothing to do with whether or not we decide whether or not you do or don't have anything to do about the consequences that we have to pay physically for your actions such as taxes. Getting STD shots STD test, abortions and such do not come for free somebody has to pay for it. And that isn't coming from free money. You want to whore yourself around, that's up to you. But nobody owes you that same amount of respect, if you yourself cannot respect yourself. What you doing has already damaged the family unit and broken as a person. Want to have sex so much that's what marriage is for. And first of all the Bible Judges you not the person. And like I always say if you don't want to be judged by something then don't give people a reason for them to judge you by. It's not our business to know what you like to do in the sack. What you talkin about has nothing to do with being stuck in the 1800's it's simple logic and his biological because that's what God have placed in us to be.

    He made us a sexual beings yes but sex is not about you it's about glorifying God through the sex act. When you're doing it outside of marriage legally you're not glorifying God.

    • men can't accept it, they can*

    • Your the reason why a lot of men rape, abuse, use, cheat and even kill their girlfriends, wifes, random girls, etc for sexual pleasure and control because YOU willing give yourself for nothing. Now they don't want to marry or take other GOOD women seriously. Because now they think EVERY woman, female and all is a whore. What your doing is prostituting. And it has nothing to do with money. It shames women and me as a woman as a whole. These men that you sleep with, you have to live with them torturing your mind while your sleeping with another. What man in his right man wants to bind with that or somebody like you? It's called filth for a REASON. Promiscuity is dangerous to the human psyche, the human race and mankind as a whole! This is why God said through Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 to let EVERY man have his own WIFE, and every WOMAN have her own HUSBAND! And if a man is behaving uncomely towards his virgin, and they want to marry, let them marry! It's fair! What's not fair, is stealing

    • good potential men from other women, and vice versa for your sexual pleasure and selfishness. And call it 'lovemaking'. Sickening. THIS is one of main reasons why I chose to never date, still remain a virgin and chose a life of celibacy. Nobody has to call you a slut, whore, etc. But people have the right to call it for what it is. Because you make sex dirty. And not something to respect and honor. And how do you REALLY know you're not infected? Don't you know STD's don't show up until 3 months- 2 years of the incubation period? AND you have to get tested with every partner and every sex act? You want to god forbid end up like my late mother who died from cervical cancer because of 1 mistake at 13 getting an std from her first boyfriend? And be in the grave? Risk going to hell if you don't want to repent of it before you die? Go right on ahead. The rest of us want to live, thank you. I don't like knowing my taxpayer dollars is going for this crap.

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  • It’s a HUGE difference between having a high sex drive / having sexual needs and not having any self control. Sleeping with an abundance of men... and women because it applies to men as well, is purely lack of self control and standards. All of these different excuses trying to justify why someone chooses to lay down with and allow themselves to be accessed by numerous people (again, men and women) is just that... an excuse because at the end of the day, whether you or they are aware of it... there’s something deeper going on mentally that needs to be addressed. I’m horny several times throughout the day but I be d*mn if I let myself lay down with a stranger or someone I have no emotional attachment to that’s gonna satisfy me for like 5 minutes when I can masturbate and handle it myself.

    There’s nothing wrong with having sex and doing “h*eish” things. It’s only a problem when you’re not mindful of whom you’re choosing to sleep with. There’s entirely too many diseases, cheating, people sticking their tongue in anybody, etc. to not be cautious of who you’re doing things with.

    • This, especially the last sentence 👏👏

    • Thank you

    • This is what I call knowledge right here. Thank you. I couldn't have said it better. What OP wrote is purely the definition of ignorance contradicting herself.

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  • Sex drive has nothing to do with the amount of partners. I have a really high sex drive and I masturbate multiple times a day. I think about sex all the time; if I'm crushing on someone I think about sex with them and I would do it the second I get the chance. But does that mean that my goal is to fuck him and ditch him until I start crushing on someone else? No, my goal and my hope is that he turns out to be the love of my life. If I discover that he isn't even before sex, then there's no point in having sex with him. But I will still be horny for him and maybe fantasize about him while masturbating. It all depends on what you are looking for - a slut would just sleep with a guy regardless. I'm the type who would sleep with a guy on a first date if the date went well, I'm attracted to him and he hasn't given me a reason not to or an indication that he will bail aftetwards. If he does bail, well I couldn't have known that. He lied to me and played me because he knew what I want. Therefore, I'm not a slut. Because a slut would sleep with him even if she knew he's gonna bail.

    • Agreed

  • I never understood that mindset with certain men either. You would think most men would be ecstatic that women are just as much interested in sex than they are. Especially when you come across posts from certain guys that complain about never getting dates or finding girls attracted to them. Maybe it's because y'all have the audacity to group women into just two groups: "WIFEY MATERIAL" or "Nail & Bail Sluts". That is the most backwards & disrespectful shit. "Yeah, bro! I'm ready to settle down with a nice lady. But lemme fuck some of these hoes first." You don't have the right to shame women for being promiscuous, while taking part in promiscuity yourselves. If you're gonna point fingers, point them right back at yourself.

    • My guess is they're subconsciously terrified that women will cheat on them. So they try to shame women into not doing that. I don't know, could be wrong.

    • @1derfulguy That won't fix anything though. Also people who have had a lot of partners aren't automatically the cheating type. Anyone is capable of cheating. Sometimes it's a one-time act of stupidity, other times it's habitual. It's habitual cheaters who need to be avoided & trust me, it's easy to sniff out their red flags.

    • Okay

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Most Helpful Guys

  • That is stupid. Sex drive, enjoying sex etc. are completely different then being promiscuous. The fact is if you want men to get over you sleeping around, fine, but you need to get over men not wanting a relationship with you, your not entitled to it and you do not have the right to judge them any more then they have the right to judge you. But I'm guessing that's not how this works is it? You want to do what ever you want when ever you want, and then you want him to shut up and accept it, that's not how this goes. Actions have consequences. If your busy sleeping around, your not busy learning how to function in a long term relationship. If your busy jumping from one short term pleasure experience to another then your not learning how to handle putting off your immediate impulses. If your busy thinking of only the here and now, your not learning to plan for the future. Its very simple. You are training yourself to be a short term partner, not a long term one so any man who is looking for a long term partner is not going to want you. Their is ample evidence showing the negative effects of promiscuity, it increases rates of depression/anxiety, lower self esteem, higher probabilities of cheating/divorce (those who scored in the upper half of the sociosexually unrestricted scale had over a 50% probability of cheating and divorcing a/multiple partner (s)), higher rates of dissatisfaction with long term relationships, dissatisfaction with sex, etc. etc. All of this has negative impacts to HIM. It also has negative impacts to any offspring you might create with him. So he has every right to be concerned. Now if your not looking for a long term relationship EVER, then live it up, that is your choice but that doesn't mean others have to accept your choices nor does it mean they have to suffer the consequences of them. You want people to stop judging you based upon your actions (which is idiotic as that should be the only thing a person is judged on) fine, stop judging men who don't want you then. Your not entitled to their companionship, devotion or love. He doesn't owe you his commitment.

  • As a man, I'm embarrassed to say you're right. We enlightened men know that most women have a healthy sex drive but keep it covered for just the reasons identified. I love a woman who will send me one of signals that tells me it's time to play.

    • I love seeing that there ARE smart men left in this world 😆

    • Of course it got downvoted by guys 🙄

    • Not shocking at all

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • With no offense intended, this sounds more like a chip on your shoulder than a real question. I cannot speak to every comment in these pages, but most guys I know - including this writer - accept pretty much at face value that women have sex drives.

    To be sure, evolution made men and women differently and so the sex drives may not always sync up. In those cases some guys may get frustrated and express it as exasperation with a woman's sex drive, but let's not take the frustrations of the moment - or the occasional incidence of what is referred to as sexual incompatibility - at face value and/or illustrative of all men.

    You will be pleased to know that, according to the research data, the overwhelming majority of both men and women who are in a relationship express satisfaction with their sex lives. If that means that men do not accept that women have sex drives, then the least we can say is that the human species is in no danger of going extinct.

    • I do not disagree. I really don't. I think this question should have been more about intent than action. As such, I agree with what you've said. But at the same time, look at the complete dicks downvoting comments and calling women whores right here in this thread. The shaming intent is pretty strong in people and especially males, even if it surfaces most frequently online, under the cover of anonymity. Which makes me wonder, is natural selection no longer valid? Or does it not include intellectual acuity any more?

    • @Tushnim Loved your concluding questions. That said, the existence of boorish louts is hardly indicative of a refusal of men in general to accept - in whatever sense you meant that - that women have a sex drive. You are extrapolating more from anecdotal evidence than it will bear. Whatever the intent of the men in this thread, it is hardly proof positive of a general reluctance to accept female sexuality. Again, recur to the research data. That tells you much more - and to repeat, there is general satisfaction in the public at large with their sex lives. As to your questions. Aristotle said that what differentiated man from the beasts was that man is a language user. I cheerfully concede that it is not irrefutable proof, to say no more.

    • @nightdrot Hahahahahaha... that was pure gold! Yes indeed. Not just Aristotle; even if we look at Charles Hocket's design features that differentiate human language use and animal communication, at the very least the point on interchange can be put under question here. Well I do tend to take a less than positive view of reality from time to time... but yes, even so I will have to agree that the internet goons are not a representative of our entire society. They are the most vocal lot, not the most numerous. Sadly, this is something my nation treasures in their representatives. Which is to say several of our major (and leading) political parties are made of these goons. Which reflects poorly on our sexual rights and liberties :/

  • Because women who are confident in their sexuality to the point that they seek it out no differently than men do take away men having a complete monopoly over women's bodies and how much value they have within society (based on how 'valuable' their vagina is).

    tldr- women's self-value being decided by their level of 'purity' is used as leverage by men. Women who take that power away from men by not placing their self-value on how desirable their vagina is leave men feeling hopeless. Hence resorting to childish coping mechanisms like namecalling (ie. slut-shaming), etc..

    • 100% correct girl.

    • lol at the men downvoting and not bothering to explain what they specifically disagree with. 🤣

    • I know 😂😂😂

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  • Lol. Of course they do - especially once they have an emotional connection with a guy.

    Don't get too upset by the relatively few guys here that like to slutshame. Most of them are really just upset that they can't get laid and are unwilling to make the effort to change the aspects of themselves that cause them not to be able to get girls. It's easier to blame and shame others than to accept responsibility for their own situations.

    As someone who has only dated sex-positive women for the last 30 years, it's certainly not news to me that women want and love sex. If they didn't, I'd definitely be getting more sleep! Lol.

    • Yass!

    • You yourself once said that women aren't sexually attracted to the male body... wonder how many female upvotes you would get after you made that clear.

    • Yup Mark, he's white knighting hard along with the rest of the above 30 y. o.'s.

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  • I agree with you. Many men around here (and in general) are very simple and limited about women sexuality.

    As a man of certain age, I've learned than men and women alike love sex, despite having subtle differences. I can't understand why some (many) men are so jelaous and cruel towards women enjoying their sexuality. Maybe they see themselves reflected in the mirror of guilt.

    As a man, I do often feel insecure with women who are very confident about their sexuality. I do also feel a bit insecure when I have a relationship with a woman who has had a lot of previous sex partners. But, come'on! I have had a lot of sexual experience in my life too, and that does not make me a bad person, or a cheater if in a relationship. My own experience helps me to overcome those stupid feelings. Overmore, nowadays I prefer a woman with experience and confident with her sexuality, rather than one who is insecure (and hence, unpredictable).

    Men who despise and isult women because of being sexually active are lame, and pretty insecure of their own sexuality.

  • I am going to leave your comment alone, but will share the University of Seattle did a 10yr study on woman, sex and their brains. The study found because we were not actually created to have multiple partners but only one true mate in life, the female body absorbs dna from the male even from outside the vag walls and the dna is carried through the lymp systems to the brain. In turn the brain stores dna crom every single male partner you have slept with. So you may have 30 different dudes messing with your head. But hey no regrets right, because we are animals in nature.

    • I don't know how you're getting downvotes when you actually have legitimate sources.

  • Wtf are you saying, don't encourage people to become sluts... And any guy here who agreed with her has no self respect whatsoever and is only thinking "Woo-hoo more available 1 night stands". Idiots.

    I don't know who educated you but people didn't run around naked in the past, the made any type of clothing either with cotton or if u look way back tree materials. Why did they wear clothes? Because they protected themselves from the harsh weather and protected their chastity. You think ancient civilization had people running around naked fucking everywhere in massive orgies? Damn this generation of people are so lazy with information yet IT'S ALL THERE online written by experts, not some horney chick that wants to fuck as many guys as possible and not get judged LOL

    "if evolution ruled our actions then eliminate phones, light bulbs because night time"? Are you stupid? If we invent something to make life easier then we can use it. You think cavemen never used anything that improved their way of life? Then why did they have campfires used? Oh I'm guessing you think camp fires spawn randomly after a good kumbaya session LOL and the chalk they used to explain and communicate their tribe stories to one another, you think they were born knowing they can use chalk for such things? Dumbb asf.

    "we never intended to be as clean as we are in modern days" HOLY WTF, if you were in the old days and I came and proved in a futuristic lab that microbes exist and they're harmful and may kill you if you don't wash your hands, you would refuse? THEY DIDN'T DO IT COZ THEY DIDN'T KNOW OF THE EXISTENCE OF BACTERIA, VIRUSES, FUNGAL... Etc... Srsly use one of your brain cells b4 you rant, jeez you could of just asked but instead you stated your opinion and before anyone could respond you said "Those arguing with evolution have nothing logical to say" please do whatever you want with your body, don't encourage others down the road of slutting.

  • My mind went so many directions with this topic... For one, I think a lot of what you're seeing is anonymous trolling. You can say whatever you want on here and nobody can hurt you. So people dial it up to 11.

    On the other hand, I think the issue here is the social construct of it all. Socially speaking, having the opportunity to have sex with a woman is an achievement. Why is this? Because so many women seem so reluctant to have sex at all. This is too easily misconstrued as "women just don't like to have sex!" Which is wrong... I'd say it's more accurate to say: "women are too picky about who they have sex with." I've always had a joke answer to the question "name one thing a man can do that a woman cannot." "fuck the ugliest person in the room just for the sake of pure curiosity."

    I think perhaps it's the men who already have features that satisfy most women's standards who have this condescending attitude. They find themselves in a position to be more choosy. Then again, it's a survival instinct really. Shame women who show lower standards, because then they're more likely to reserve their sex drive for guys like them.

    For men like myself, honestly, we'll fuck anyone who will fuck US. In fact we're GLAD you're slutty - it means we might actually have a shot. It's the difference between those who starve because there's no food, and those who starve because the food around them isn't enticing enough.

  • Thank you for this! This maddens me too. Jesus, people, women have the right to their own sexuality as much as every man. Men are not studs when they sleep around and woman sluts. That is horse shit.

    Just the pressure on women to always have to worry about judgment and their reputation, it's awful for women.

    But it's also awful for men, because instead of women expressing themselves, they end up twisting their words to appear this way or that because of those pressures.

    It's just unhealthy all around.

    • And that's why a woman never tells you, I find you hot, wanna have sex? Because she's terrified of judgment. And as a result, we end up feeling terrible and sexually unwanted. Let women be!!!

  • It's because from a young age we are socialized to beleive that violating women is hot, and doinnn things against her will is just her duty. The English Americans had society set up so that men's sex drives were considered uncontrollable and animalistic, and women were thought to habe no sexual desire unless they wanted children. Thus rape was normal and relatively acceptable, and women were supposed to tame their husbands "uncontrollable" drives. This is why it was considered the women's fault if her husband cheated on her, and still is blamed on the woman sometimes today. Men are taught to accept their sexuality as something that controls them, and it leads to all sorts of hellish mayhem for women. A lot of men get off to innocent, pure women, who don't necessarily want to engage in sexual acts. That's why a woman knowing what she wants is considered threatening and insulting to men in some ways. They literally just want control, and it's a disgusting social imbalance that needs to end

    • Couldn't agree more. You're probably looking at a lot of downvotes... but you know that already. But I'd like to add here, it takes a particular kind of men to deny women (or other men) their sexual independence. And these, though they loudest mouths, are actually not that many in number irl.

    • Agreed. But the loudest mouths tend to shape society, And that's when it becomes an issue

    • True. Examples abound. Pretty sad, really.

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  • I know little to nothing about women's sex's drives since I'm not interested in studying it. However, should I someday get a partner or spouse I will learn her needs emotionally and sexually to be a good husband. As far as multiple partners and casual sex goes, I personally think its a bad idea. I also however have Christian morals and I feel that a woman who goes around having sex with multiple men without a purpose is rather promiscuous, but thats my opinion. I know men do the same thing and I don't agree with that either. I think having life long lasting partners and deep emotional bonds that come from a strong marriage based in love and not lust makes for the best relationships including sexually.

  • It's called a sex drive. Not a sex overdrive

  • Accept is not the word, embrace or enjoy comes much closer ! I defend the right of my ‘sisters’ to be as horny or non-horny as their ‘brothers’. Social stigma can go that famous place down under where it’s hot and dry.

  • They are usually raised on ignorance which is why they can't except it, they aren't taught "guys are like this, girls are like this" to the point where neither the guy or girl can be themselves cuz they're trying to be how they are taught how to be. AT the same time they expect the girl/guy to be this certain way...

    ANYWAYS there's another reason though... i can't ignore it even though I agree... a lot of girls just don't show it... even though guys and girls both talk about sex with their own group of friends, usually other guys and girls... it's usually the guy in my experience who starts making sexual references... NOT ALWAYS though as I have seen girls start the convo and get just as... perverted as guys usually are,.. which is really humbling.

    IT all comes down to what we were taught and honestly one last thing...
    timing...
    girls and guys... neither one wants to talk about sex all the time and so it usually causes there to be a rift when someone says something at the wrong time that makes everyone feel awkward... and then as a result they don't want to be that person and don't talk about it as much... (a bit of a tangent) but yeah...

  • Beacuse most men lack logical thinking and they seem to struggle with changing with the times so they still have that medieval perception of the world around them. They name most things with a male identity because most are sexist. When I say most I mean at least 66% of men are like this and the remaining are not and you can find them easily it is just the 66% are loud and love the attention so it seems like it is all men but sadly that isn't the case.

    • Well there are many reasons and not just one, but I'm more interested in where you got 66% of men are sexist? Where is the world-wide study? What were the parameters and conditions? Was it a controlled research? I mean if we are gonna talk about critical thinking lets show all the critical information for it...

    • That's nice *pat's your head* belive what you like say what you want do as you please why would I even bother getting into the sperfics you maybe that bored but unfortunately for you I am currently very busy and I will for now wait until I have the free time for such a detailed discussion XP. Before you pack thus apart and add your own opinion to trying to get me too bite I am just letting you know that I read your opinion and am not ignoring you so settle down mate all good things come to those who get bored enough at home to go looking for a fight.

    • I agree with your opening statements, and thanks for defending my right to say and believe what I want, I would do the same for you. You don't have to give me the specifics, I understand we are busy people, I was hoping you would give me a link to the study so that I can read it and study it in my own time, that seems reasonable to me, if you disagree feel free to let me know.

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  • Perfectly agreeing. If you ask something you just mantiene to hook up. Incredibile.

  • It all comes down to insecurity, especially the ones who say men are supposed to be promiscuous and women aren't. Like, who do they think is sleeping with all those promiscuous men? They don't math very well. ;)

    You should work this up into a myTake.

    • Truth.

    • We should make a meme out of the blue downvote because that’s how pathetic it is

    • Is that why you're single at 45 years of age? All of them were just too insecure for you? Solid.

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  • Thank you! Now all I need is one of those women to want me when they are thinking about sex. To be quite honest, I only get aroused if she wants it. Perhaps it is the accumulated rejections but it is critical that she has desire otherwise, I will not have any.

  • Too many men still have trouble with empathy because of the way society has developed, and so many men today are very self-centered with no sense of empathy until their late twenties, and many men who are already mature adults grew up in times or communities that fostered their sense of ego. Combine this lack of consideration for those outside the self with the fact that too many men are apparently incapable of not objectifying women by default, and you get what you see on here. Everyone walks around this place being led solely by their dick. A woman asks if her tattoo looks good and gets a thousand posts about how nice her body is. A woman asks other women about something related to masturbation and every man in a ten mile radius chimes in about how hot that is. It's from a total lack of maturity or discretion.

  • Not all men think that hun but i do love how you posted this and it is an issue that dose need to be adressed. Because sex is nature and women will be just as horny as men and there is nothing wrong with that. But i think the biggest issue is men who think that just sticking them self in a women makes her happy no dude you have to touch her right all women all of there body is like a conducter for pleasure and if you touch her right well it shows lol.

  • Sing it my sister!

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