Why can't I Orgasm When He Eats Me Out?

I was over at my boyfriends house last night and he went down on me. he's the first guy to ever go down on me so I didn't know what to expect. Parts of it felt really good, other parts also felt good but not as good. He mainly just focused up near my clit. I masturbate some and I usually go fast. He tried rubbing it and fingering. He was down there for a good 5 minutes and I just couldnt get off. I feel awful that i can't get off because I love him and I dknt want him to think its because I dont want him there. We are in a fairly new relationship too so I really dont want him to become self concious. So what can I do so i can get off. What can I tell him to do. It seemed like it was taking forever.
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • In my personal view, I believe you're being hyper sensitive to the situation and trying to rush. As you've said already you're in a new relationship and this is the first time you've ever had someone perform oral on you. I would surmise you aren't really sure what you like yet, because all you've done so far is masturbate and as you said, you go 'off' pretty quickly. And you might have expected him being down their for five minutes to be like when you pleasure yourself and your body didn't react the way it has before and this can cause you to tense up and make it harder to orgasm, than if you had more practical experience with oral sex.

    My advice would be to try and relax. Don't worry about how long he's done there or how long it may take. Enjoy what feels good and if he is in a spot that doesn't feel good or doesn't feel as good, then openly tell him this so he can adjust what he's doing to make you feel better and gain more pleasure in the experience. Remember, this is a first for him too, because even if he's performed oral on others, he hasn't with you and your body is going to be unique and different then any others he's been with; if he's done this at all with anyone else.

    Take your time, there's no rush to the finish line. Work with him, letting him know, again, what feels good and what doesn't, and what feels---REALLY---good and what doesn't and little by little as you and him gain more experience with each other and learn each other's bodies, you achieving orgasm will get better and better.

    And you have to realize that neither you or him are doing anything wrong, and you're not going to make him feel bad by letting him know what you feel and what would feel better to you. It has been my experience that guys like knowing what are the right 'buttons' to push for your body to get you off better than by just 'winging' it and hope he's getting it right. That really doesn't work out for the best for either of you. That's my bottom line.

  • 5 minutes and you expect an orgasm from oral on the first try?
    He's probably more than happy to stay down there for longer than that, he's having fun as well!
    What's the hurry?

    Allow some time for you to get used to each other and don't be shy about telling him what you like or don't like, what works and what doesn't work. Coach him. Every person is different, so there isn't any way for him to know what unlocks YOUR orgasm unless he figures it out by trial and error OR you help him out by telling him what to do. Believe me, he won't mind.

Most Helpful Girls

  • 5 minutes? Are you kidding me? That's nothing!
    Anyway, you should relax. You shouldn't be rush, you should be patient and you should enjoy the process. Maybe you'd like it more if he licked directly against the clit. Maybe you prefer a different pace, everyone's different. You should keep experimenting with him.

  • A woman's body is like a puzzle. Some women take longer to orgasm. Is he adding variations? Did he kiss slowly down to your nether regions or tease you? Did he kiss or nip on your inner thighs? How is his technique? Maybe he needs to apply a little more pressure? Also, give masturbation a brake for a while.

    • Also maybe you were nervous, because you both are not used to this type of thing. Just give it some time also.

  • Oh you were probably nervous, but it's totally normal even if you can't later on... lots of girls can't cum from oral, and especially not right away. I believe you'll get there though!

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 11
  • Either he's not skilled enough which means you need to coach him, away from the sex and very tactfully, or you're so uptight that you're abating your orgasm.

  • Well you know what turns you on better than he does or anyone else. So when something feels extra good or doesn't feel right you need to communicate that to him while he is down there. He also shouldn't focus solely on your clit. Don't feel bad about not cumming for him the first time. It takes practice and chemistry from both of you to figure out what hits all the right places to get you off

  • stop masturbating!!! you end up getting used to a certain pressure and speed to get off and nothing else will work. sorry but there is no way his tongue can do what your fingers can. stop masturbating and let yourself get worked up, you will probably find his tongue a lot more fun :)

  • Since it was your first time it was probably your nervousness that stopped you. It takes time for you and him to learn what you need for him to do. The main thing is to relax and communicate when he's doing things you like and direct him into doing it better.

  • There are a number of reasons why you didn't orgasm. First is tenseness. There is no instruction manual on the inside of your thigh so it may be to your advantage to guide his head gently. The very best male lovers are taught by women. That is a fact.

    Just my opinion

  • I think you're a bit over tense and over thinking it. Maybe pressurising yourself to get off? Sex shouldn't be that way. One should savour it and not be doing it with any expectation - the tantric way :)

    You're both new to all this. I think it will take some time to find a rhythm. This is natural. Also, with communication too. You don't just want to be sat there silent. Soon as he knows what you like, once you verbalise it, he'll know it for ever, and give you lots of spellbinding orgasms. So yes. Communicate.

    Maybe he's a bit awkward too. Maybe it will take some time for him to perfect his technique and sensitivity. That's how it can be for some men!

  • My advice would be to take a deep breath, step back, and realize that the first time you experienced oral was just that --- a first. Just because you didn't cum the first time doesn't mean you won't. And I would try to take the focus off cumming as an absolute goal and just try to relax and enjoy the sensation. Guide your boyfriend so he's using his mouth and tongue where it feels the best. 5 minutes isn't a long time to give a girl oral, so he needs to be in a comfortable position and adjust or take a quick break from time to time to relax his neck and shoulders, etc. It sounds like you've got a really healthy attitude about receiving oral from your boyfriend (so many girls don't!) and that will carry you a long way. But don't hesitate to guide your boyfriend to what feels best.

    • Thank you for MH Guy opinion!

  • Maybe try adding some body language when he is down on you
    such as saying: Oh baby that feels good don't stop omg i am about
    to explode. You could try adding some role play if your into that stuff
    You may want be able to use oral lubrication that could help you too.
    https://www.bestlubefinder.com/best-flavored-lube/

  • Maybe he wasn't good enough. Or you were shy and a bit uncomfortable.

  • Have you ever tried stimulating you down there "together"?

  • 5 minutes is just a warm-up
    Give it 20 minutes

  • Simple... he's doing it wrong.