Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Introduction
Casual sex is any kind of sexual behavior devoid of commitment or attachment. You may call it booty calls, one-night-stands, hookups, friends with benefits, flings, whatever, but the essence is still the same: sex without commitment or attachment. The nature of casual sex is very similar to that of prostitution, but the latter, which comes with its own various names, involves monetary transactions while the former usually has no such implications and focuses on the specific type of sexual relationship (how frequent sex is in the relationship, with or without emotional attachment, how frequent the meetings are, with or without payment or other favors). For a detailed explanation of casual sex, you may want to check out the Casual Sex Project. The narratives are user-submitted, so truthfulness of the responses is difficult to validate. But with some imagination, you can read the narratives like verbal pornography, if there is any use for the stories, or you can pity the users who lead such lives.
Disease is very likely
A short-term casual sex encounter often means you don't know who you are sleeping with or what their sexual histories are. They may have whatever germ, but be perfectly asymptomatic at that point in time. They may be lying to you to have sex with you, or they may simply be unaware of their carrying STDs, or worse, they may be married and just want to have sex with someone other than their spouses for whatever reason. The more casual sexual partners you have, the more likely you will catch a STD.
Resistance to antibiotics in Neisseria gonorrheae is on the rise.
When you do get an STD, you may get treated, but don't get your hopes up too much. Antibiotic resistance in N. gonorrheae is on the rise, so it may be untreatable with available medicines. New medicines may be invented, but that is a matter of time, and time is crucial if you are infected with an untreatable disease. The best way to avoid gonorrhea is to avoid partnered sexual contact altogether, especially with an infected person or anything that raises the risks of STD contraction.
Dealing with long-term or lifelong STDs
You do not want to deal with STDs long-term, as they can have negative impacts on your whole health. Although some bugs can be cured, others cannot but can be treated. HPV. HIV. HSV. Untreated HPV can lead to cervical cancer and genital warts. Herpes give you mouth sores and genital lesions. HIV depletes your CD4+ T-cell count and causes AIDS, making you susceptible to opportunistic infections by pathogens that would otherwise be asymptomatic or controlled in immunocompetent people. HIV+ people who start antiretroviral therapy early are better off than those who start late or not at all. However, the virus is present in the body and constantly activates the immune system to get all fired up, even though it may be suppressed by drug therapy. The constant inflammatory response of HIV will eventually wear out the body, leading to several diseases related to chronic inflammation. In short, STDs are a pain in the neck and in the rear end, and they are a hefty price to pay for a brief fling one night when you were horny and probably didn't know any better.
Social stigma with being diagnosed with STDs
There is a social stigma with being diagnosed with STDs, especially the incurable ones. Although it is easy for a person who has lived a sexually conservative life to think that people deserve the STDs they get for sleeping around too much or breaking sexual taboos, this lack of sympathy is doing no one good. It is doing no good for the affected person, and the affected will avoid seeking medical care to avoid being noticed with an STD. It is also doing no good for the criticizer, because the criticizer is setting up the STD patient for future injury. The best way to counteract the social stigma is to forgive the affected person of real or perceived sins and hope that the person would learn from past mistakes and turn away from the lifestyle. Though, you probably don't want to be upfront about the lifestyle that predisposes the person to STDs, because the person may get defensive and thus not be cooperative with you. If you can find a way to subconsciously manipulate or change the person's lifestyle, behavior, and attitudes that condone casual sex, then go for it.
Casual sex is based on physical impulses of the self rather than on compassion or concern for the holistic wellness of the other individual.
Whether the casual sex is an one-night-stand or friends-with-benefits, it is usually concerned with the satisfaction of the individual, as opposed to the holistic mutual satisfaction of both partners. Casual sex partners may care whether their partners feel satisfied about the sex, because that satisfaction is an indicator of sexual performance and future successful casual sex encounters. However, if any change of plan interferes with the partners' sex life together, they usually terminate the relationship instead of seeking other, non-sexual, ways to fulfill each other's happiness.
Casual sex is a threat to marriage and long-term commitment and support.
Too many people have casual sex while being married. This kind of behavior is a threat to marriage, because it needlessly puts the married couple at risk of carrying a STD, and it destroys the mutual trust that married partners are obligated to give one another. Some people probably think it's a thrill to engage in an adulterous affair, a new partner who is more exciting than the married partner, but do not want to get caught. To hide the sin, they avoid buying condoms and barriers, which predisposes them to engage in unprotected sex. They catch a STD and transmit the STD to their married partner, so the faithful partner is fucked up. So, the lesson is that covering up a sin just leads to more sin. Acknowledging your wrong, which includes the intention (not just the behavior) to engage in adultery, is the mature way to handle things.
Prostitution as a subset of casual sex, and casual sex as a subset of fornication
I see prostitution as a subset of casual sex, and casual sex as a subset of fornication. Like casual sex, prostitution is primarily a sexual relationship, but unlike casual sex, it involves some kind of material transaction or favors. Prostitution can take place in many forms - brothel/institution, individual sex worker, sugar relationships/mistress/concubine, etc. Casual sex may or may not involve money, and if it does, it has turned into prostitution. An example of casual sex without money would be a friends-with-benefits relationship. Two persons are good friends and participate in sexual activities together, but they consciously choose not to advance the relationship beyond friends. This may imply that they do not seek to marry each other and start families, or they may just use each other for sexual comforts.
Casual sex is a form of fornication, which encompasses all unmarried intimate relationships that involve sexual intercourse, but not all unmarried relationships are casual sex. Some relationships are officially unmarried, because the committed partners cannot marry legally. Other relationships are in the dating stage, which for some people, means the having-sex-with-your-partner stage. Nowadays, we just call this kind of unmarried-but-committed-sexual-romantic-relationship-sex "relationship sex" to differentiate it from casual sex. If children results in the romantic relationship, then the couple may be considered socially as "married by common law".
Of course, there are some people who would never opt for a fornicatory relationship, because such a relationship counters one's moral conscience, and may thus imply very grave consequences, psychologically, socially, and spiritually.
If you are a straight woman, your marriagability and pool of potential spouses go downhill.
If you are a straight woman, then your marriagability and pool of potential spouses will go downhill. Here's why. Many single eligible bachelors prefer virgins. Sure, you may find a handful of men who claim that their future wife's virginity is unimportant, but these are men who can tolerate a non-virgin wife. You may find some men who claim that they prefer a more sexually experienced woman, but this group seems to be a rare find. In addition, if a man perceives the woman is too willing to give into sex, he may start using her just for sex instead of waiting for commitment or marriage. Another sad truth is that some men have this virgin/whore mentality: that they feel entitled to get sex from sluts while prefer to marry a virgin later in life. So, if you are straight virginal woman, then your best bet is to keep your virginity until you find a man who will marry you for the whole person you are, not because you're a virgin. A man who only has sex with you because you are a virgin is not a good man, because it is likely that he will dump you after he has sex with you, and you won't be able to give your virginity to your husband or someone who sincerely loves you.
Conclusion
I have written here a list of objections to casual sex. Hopefully, some people will find them helpful in some way. Feel free to share your thoughts about this take.
What Girls & Guys Said
18 40I agree with a lot here but you didn't really touch on the negative emotional effects of casual sex which for me would be the biggest problem.
So... to sum things up. A risk of STD's, it's based on impulse and is a threat to marriage. Lol.
Laugh it up 23 STDs that's not funny
A lot of people will never get it. I slept around a lot when I was younger which I'm not proud of, luckily I never caught anything.
Many STDs are asymptomatic. This does not mean they do not do damage, though. Chlamydia can cause sterility.
Yeah I got tested and have gotten my girlfriend pregnant 3 times since (all planned) so I'm definitely not sterile lol.
So you're the father of three andd you're not married. What a stud you are!
@DrGtheMD yeah, we plan on getting married eventually, it's not that important to us because we aren't religious, and even without marriage we aren't going anywhere.
I think you should just be careful when sleeping with someone new. Wrap it up, use birth control pills, do other forms of contraceptives. I dont think casual sex is wrong. I've never had casual sex since i've only been with one person before and thats my choice. I dont judge people for having many sexual partners.. its not my business. Also just becuase someone has an STD or is HIV positive, doesn't mean they are any less human.
Yep. I wrote a whole paragraph on STD Stigma.
In other words:
People who have casual sex will be swimming with STDs, adulterers, emotionally stunted, support prostitutes, and unsuitable for long term relationships.
And then below, you say even people who got married (as JESUS intended!) are sleeping around anyway, so in the same vein of exaggeration, we should all become monks/nuns.
Well then don't have it.
i dont do that shit, though there was this one boy i did jack off with in 9th grade
so i get that you´re not a fan of casual sex. no problem with that. but please read this https://markmanson.net/std-guide and correct your opinion about the likelyhood of catching an std. you don´t need to read all of it, just the headers and facts.
the likelyhood of catching a very bad one is lover than in sex with 1000 partners without protection. those you get easily are not an issue as they are easily curable. plus the bad ones are all preventable, simply using a freaking condom.
i´m not saying you shouldn´t care for stds or something but your take is exaggerating it to the other extreme and making it sound overly bad which is just objectively isn´t.
same with all your other arguments. you skew them pretty hard in order to make your point. i´m not saying, you´re wrong. i´m just saying, you´re exaggerating.
Universal standard precautions should be foremost. Always assume every specimen you touch or are exposed to contains a deadly infectious agent.
so honestly if you were together with man on an evening where you were particularly horny and he was particularly hot and you mentally and emptionally had an overwhelmingly good connection, would you wait till marriage and make a std test for every possible std first? we are not talking about an an animal with rabies here, we´re taling about somebody "possibly" having an std, that you will not get, if use protection.
In an ideal world, people should get tested after every sexual encounter. But, we don't live in an ideal world, and people just make bad choices. This does not mean we should not strive for good choices. But people still need to get tested after every sexual encounter. They may feel horny, but they should also accept that STDs are possible. Marriage does not protect against STDs. In this day and age, where too many people are sleeping around, you can't guarantee that your married partner has a clean record, unless he/she has been tested, and has not made any sexual contact since getting tested.
Yeah but protection is a thing and if you have one that's bad, you'll know.
The only protection that is 100% effective is sexual abstinence.
Well technicly STDs are on the rise and have been (with the occasional dip) since the sexual revolution. Same with abortions. Clearly having the option to have safe sex and actually choosing to are two different things, and according to the evidence they are choosing not to. www.cdc.gov/.../...lance-report-press-release.html
It may not be an epidemic but thats still a lot of people.
Marraige is a pretty bad std👊🏻
I'm a Mormon and I strongly agree with most of your points. But the rest of America don't share the same values, having casual sex won't align with my values and the moral barometer I set for myself. Some people like living a life of pure hedonism which is also okay.
Well, meaningless sex can have it's moments but for someone like myself, I'd rather find someone who has either not slept with someone or slept with only one or two people. I'm still a virgin at 26 and I wanted to lose it a long time ago but it's never happened for me. So at this point, I kind of don't care anymore
So it goes back to Marriage and STDs, the latter of which isn't magically prevented by marriage and can spread outside of sex, and the former itself being a financial death sentence for men
We talkin' casual sex as in lovers, or casual sex as in two random people deciding to bonk? Because I've always felt the latter was a bit weird.
It devalues one of the most intimate human experiences there is. And turns it into a selfish self serving act.
I've never met anyone bothered by the virginity of a partner, and I don't mean they're willing to put up with it-I mean they genuinely don't care. And a lot of guys would prefer a woman with experience.
I think prostitutes do a somewhat of a service. Those hoes always have condoms.
People are horny and want to get their rocks off and I think it's better than tricking some poor soul into sex with promises of a relationship.
Nice take
Girls that are like this are turn offs. I do not like old fashioned closed minded girls.
It's not "wrong" per se, just a dangerous activity that should be done only with heavy caution. It's not as simple and risk-free as many make it out to be.
Exactly. I would of said more about the fear of commitment, pair bonding and causal sex's effect on that as well as how instant gratification could affect relationships and instead of the "stay pure," I'd say "stay mindful."
given we have condoms this unneccesairy long post sounds even dumber
Lol...
Condoms aren't good against warts, syphillis and gonorrhoea
@theegreat017 your post is perfect for it amplifies the problem with this website and indeed other websites that discuss sex, relationships and sexually transmitted diseases. What you said is just the opposite, the complete opposite of known fact. Condoms are most effective against syphilis, gonorrhea and venereal warts. People state complete an incorrect and incorrect supposed to truths and others pass it along and the only monitoring is done by 19 and 25-year-old with nothing better to do. We are speaking of STDs as if they popped up yesterday and casual sex is a newfound concept. Christopher Columbus died of the complications of syphilis so to George Washington, Al Capone and I believe Florence Nightingale. Intimacy, emotional commitment and the struggle involved between man and woman has been around since the beginning of time. The maturation process of understanding that type of commitment has also been present since forever.
There are two factors involved here. Developing an ongoing relationship with the opposite sex requires emotional education and experience with commitment and emotional pain. That is a maturation process that probably at least according to psychologists requires intimacy at all levels. So one, learning how to choose a lifelong partner requires experience. Otherwise those married in an early age wind up getting divorced within 15 years. It is more prevalent now because divorce was considered a terrible thing and people stayed in relationships that were toxic out of shame had they gotten divorced. Next, in a marriage that initially was solid, the rule extent of's sexual intimacy decreases when the marriage begins to fail. So it is not that decreased sexual activity causes the marriage to fail but that decrease in physical intimacy is a barometer of the entire relationship so do not look at cheating as the etiology of the failed marriage but rather the decrease in sexual intimacy
Of the failing marriage. Of course there are exceptions to every rule but actually the exceptions make the rule. The real concern in Western civilization today is the breakdown of the family unit. The rise in sexual activity amongst young is mostly a reflection of the breakdown of the family unit. The good news is that in the United States the rate of teenage pregnancy is at its lowest point in decades. The reasons are not clear but may reflect decreased sexual activity among teenagers or the increased use of birth control. By that group. Physicians today are encouraging the use of condoms and abstinence until the individual is a more emotionally capable of dealing with sexual activity. But to claim that total abstinence is a better way to develop emotional intimacy is wrong and incorrect when studying history or the development of mature thought processes. Someone always throws out the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex conflicts in this area but they fail to understand that
When we speak of prefrontal cortex taking over the impulsive behavior of the amygdala that requires memory and memory that has emotional content strong emotional content contained within. It is more of a governor of impulsive behavior rather than overall
@DrGtheMD I have read (from reliable sources) that you need to take extra precautions against gonorrhoea and syphillis like taking a penicillin, prophylaxis, etc. and no method, none, provides a "perfect" safegaurd. They're all 99℅ safe and you may be in the 1℅. Why it's concerning is bc you take the risk from your prefrontal cortex (amygdala develops first in only teens, frontal cortex is well developed in adults) for a short term pleasure while facing a life taking (AIDS) disease for the same. Now that's being foolish, but nothing else.
@theegreat017 so you have jumped from and I quote you "Condoms aren't good against warts, syphillis and gonorrhoea" to "no method, none, provides a "perfect" safegaurd. They're all 99℅ safe and you may be in the 1℅. " You go from absolute to 99% effective. You advised taking penicillin for the prevention of gonorrhea which is totally incorrect as penicillin is no longer is effective against gonorrhea and has not been so for 30 years. At 19 years of age you need to be reading and learning rather than spouting crap. There is nothing absolutely nothing in your post that has any background to it and can be justified by any of, "reliable source." Kid my reliable source is the New England Journal of Medicine, the Journal of infectious diseases and the recommendations of the CDC. What are your reliable sources?