Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men

While the idea of meeting on a dating app is foreign to many people and outright unacceptable to others, in theory it is a convenient way to connect with new people for those of us who are too busy, shy, or otherwise preoccupied to date in the traditional way. However in the majority of cases, dating apps tend to leave both men and women alike empty-handed and dissatisfied. However for men this discontent rests in the form of rejection while for women it's usually their own choice of invalidating the men that they encounter. While I don't claim that some men don't bring their dating issues upon themselves, I think the sheer number that do this is exaggerated as it is the common trend to dismiss men as "creepy" or "cringe" for virtually anything nowadays. It is a cultural phenomenon to blame men in any situation where a woman is uncomfortable. Dare I say the majority of men who have trouble on dating apps are really not doing anything "wrong." Put bluntly, they are just being judged too harshly and rejected as a result of it.

About me:

Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men
Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men



Just some background about myself. I'm 6'2" 200 lbs. I'm 31 years old, an Army veteran, IT student, content creator, gamer, and artis. Most people compliment me for my very deep voice, height, and impressive level of intelligence. I'm often told that I'm kind, sweet, honest, and fair. Despite this, I've struggled getting dates my entire life. As someone who seldom goes out and is generally introverted, I thought that dating apps would be the answer. Unfortunately I was incorrect and after trying several dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Badoo, Hinge, Hily, and many others over the past several years, this is the general trend that I noticed with women's profiles and why I think it's so much worse for men;

1) Selfishness
Most profiles of women that you encounter on dating apps are very selfish and their profile bio consists of nothing more than a list of expectations and requirements. Among the most common of these are places she wants to be taken, foods she wants to eat, humor in the form of cheesy pick up lines or dad jokes, and a man who can be her dog dad. We'll discuss the latter in one of the next categories. In some cases, the profile consists of nothing but negative things that she does NOT want. For example she will express not looking for a hookup, not being part of a threesome, jobless men, or men without cars. All in all women's profiles mostly tend to make demands, requirements, and expectations but never tell what they have to offer the man. One will struggle to ever find a profile where a woman will tell you that she is loving, caring, sweet, honest, or nurturing. She will never share what skills or talents she has that will make your life better or what she'll do to show you a good time unless it's immediately followed by some sort of compensation for personal gain. The only thing (if anything) that most women have to offer on their profile is their simple time and presence, sometimes in the form of a snapchat or Instagram handle. Aside from that, she typically only expresses hat she wants in a man. This put immense pressure on men which leads me to the next category.

2) Women are Pickier

Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men

Women on these apps tend to be too picky for their own good. Despite our society being more vocal about men being the more judgmental on looks, in reality it's actually the other way around. While men can appreciate an hour glass figure, it's seldom a requirement. Most men will still "hit that" as long as she looks decent, even if a pencil has more curves than her. Women still look at their bodies as a prize that they "give up" to a man who "earns" it rather than sharing each other's bodies for mutual benefit. All of these Hollywood beauty standards are simply a bonus for men, not a requirement. Women are incredibly vocal about physical appearance of men, typically expecting his profile to contain pictures of him dressed nicely, being of tall stature, and/or having interesting or cool photos. These are a MUST if a man hopes to make it into that 5% category. Most men only require that a woman has some simple selfies, and mirror pics as long as her face and physique are easily discernable and not waterlogged with Snapchat filters. Statistically speaking, women only swipe right on less than 5% of men's profiles while men swipe right on over 50%. In other words, women deem 95% of men as inadequate based on looks alone.

3) F*ckboys

Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men

So as a consequence of the overly picky habits of women on dating apps, they inevitably only talk to the top 5% of men, the ones who are tall, handsome, buff, well-dressed, and evidently wealthy or cool based on their pics posing in front of their fancy cars or wearing their $500 suits. The overwhelming majority of men who are 5s, 6s, 7s and even 8s are struggling to get any matches and lucky not to get left on read if they do score a few. Those 9s and 10s who are getting new likes every day have an inflated sense of market value and many women to "try out" or a new notch to add to their headboard. They will be more vulgar and objectifying because they know that if they scare off the first one, they'll have another one right behind her. They don't feel like they lost anything if they have 20 more in their inbox every evening. What this does is makes women think that all men are f*ckboys when in reality it's just because they are only going after the hot ones who know that they are hot and have many options to choose from. While the 5s, 6s, and 7s wouldn't necessarily rule out the offer of a booty call, they are generally more open to the idea of a relationship since women looking for a one-night stand are only expecting the absolute best. Let's face it, we are sexual creatures and we all will eventually want sex so the typical man might eventually hint at sex but in a more natural process and not as direct, vulgar, and early on in the conversation as this top 5% that most of the women are chasing.

5) Women are just on there for attention

Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men

We see it every day. A girl with immaculate makeup, a sexy dress and absurd amounts of cleavage. We are wondering why this woman is even on the dating app in the first place since she is probably being approached 24/7 in person. As soon as we scroll down, we see her snapchat and Instagram handles publicly available in her bio either by themselves or with another message saying something along the lines of "I'm barely on this app, chat with me here." You then come to find that she boasts several thousands of followers. Some of the more pretentious ones may even have a cashapp handle. Despite what she claims on her dating profile, she will never reply to your messages on her social media either and may likely not even read them in the first place. She has no intention on actually meeting or dating anyone she meets there at all unless there is a prospect of monetary gain or gifts. All she wants is the attention and the ego boost of just being wanted so damn bad by so many men that can't have her.

6) Women get bored too easily

Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men

Unless there are sparks flying, butterflies fluttering, and rainbows shining within the first 2 messages, there is no hope of a date. Women don't seem to like the simple idea of sitting down and getting to know you. Typical questions in that process are deemed "boring" very quickly and they lose interest and unmatch or stop responding. Women expect something super funny or incredibly creative from the very beginning and it must be maintained with precision and balance if you want to have even the slightest chance of scoring a phone number or a date.

7) Dogs are better

Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men

Admittedly it's a bit concerning that this one warrants its own category but it's really just that big of a problem. As mentioned in category one. Dogs, dogs, dogs, and more... DOGS. A large percentage of women on dating apps have a bafflingly huge obsession with dogs. They take pictures with their dog, talk about how much time they spend time with their dog, how they love dogs more than people, and how they'll swipe right if you have a dog in your pic. Some will even directly say that they swiped right for the DOG and not YOU. More frequently there is the line "If my dog likes you then so will I" or "Dog mom looking for dog dad." This phenomenon is so frequent that it begs the question as to whether they are on the app to find a human or to find a network of dogs. I had one girl explain to me that ownership of a dog immediately indicates what type of person you are and that you are compatible. Any logical person knows that this is nonsensical as people have dogs of all different sizes, shapes, colors, and temperaments and they own them for different reasons. Additionally not all dog owners have the same personalities themselves. Put bluntly though, men come on these apps to get to know girls, not dogs and no man is going to be impressed by how much you love your dog.

Women have no incentive to be better people

Why Dating Apps Suck For Women, But Even More For Men

All in all, these issues culminate into the biggest, strongest foundation of the issue, built up exponentially from all the others. Women have no incentive to do better or be better. They will still continue getting matches and still get messages from dozens of men per day either way, regardless of what they do. Granted most will be explicit or brainless but they are still there nonetheless. They will still get offers for dates, gifts, and more importantly, attention. This does not incentivize women to want to be better people or improve their character, their profile, or their approach towards dating, inevitably allowing them to be as spoiled, selfish, rotten, and rude as they want and still continue being chased regardless and treated like queens by default. The natural process in which people learn the hard way that they are the problem and they need to fix themselves is slow or non-existent in women on dating apps as everything is about pleasing them and only them and they have the final say in everything. Yes or no to dating, yes or no to the phone number, and yes or no to "giving it up" the latter of which is the grand "prize."

So in conclusion. I don't think I'm alone in that I am a man, unapologetically myself. I'm kind, friendly, honest, intelligent, and incredibly loving and passionate but I still struggle to get dates. Not only dates but matches at all. It is not unusual for me to use up all of my 50 swipes and wake up the next morning with 0 matches. Not only is that common but it is the case the majority of the time, despite my average right swipe rate being between 30% and 50% depending on the day. The problem for most of us men isn't finding "the right one" but getting the matches and the dates in the first place. Getting the replies when we send out messages. Getting a conversation that lasts for more than 2 messages without the need for a cheesy pickup line or a discussion about dogs. We just want to be ourselves, just like you girls can. And we want to be able to do that without the default assumption being "creepy" or "cringe" or "desperate" without any knowledge at all of who we are or what we're about.

4 19

Most Helpful Girls

  • This stuff goes both ways...

    1. Selfishness

    The women who online date are going to come across guys who are unemployed, looking for only sex, unattractive, don't have a place of residence, lying about their height, lying about their occupation, lying about their marital/relationship status, or can't hold a conversation because they are socially inept... and they have requirements like women who are between the ages of 18-27 only. This is an example of why you see women who have lists.

    2. Women are Pickier/Swipe Stats :

    Swipe Stats are based on the percentages that are accumulated through the app used by its users. Meaning, it is known, for most men to swipe right on all women to then pick amongst who they match with. This is done to avoid fees or waiting. There hasn't been a study yet of swipes where a woman and a guy are genuinely swiping based on attraction, while being monitored. If you have men swiping right every woman whether attracted to her or not, right. Then it is a given that men have a higher swiping right rate. This doesn't prove who is or isn't pickier.

    3. F*ckboys

    "they inevitably only talk to the top 5% of men, the ones who are tall, handsome, buff, well-dressed, and evidently wealthy or cool based on their pics posing in front of their fancy cars or wearing their $500 suits."

    Ok. The opposite of this are short, ugly, wimpy, poorly dressed, evidently broke, or lame based on their pics posing in front of their ran down cars or wearing their $10 outfits. This is the guy you want us to date?

    "Let's face it, we are sexual creatures and we all will eventually want sex so the typical man might eventually hint at sex but in a more natural process and not as direct, vulgar, and early on in the conversation as this top 5% that most of the women are chasing."

    "Eventually want sex" are the key words and YEAH WE KNOW. We want to want the guy who's going to eventually want sex from us. That's the point. There's another side to some "nice guys". It's when they pretend like they want a relationship or want to wait on the girl when in reality, they lack the options to juggle women. They learned that they can go the relationship route to eventually get what they want. They don't really want to be in a relationship, they just secretly wish they had it as good as that "5%" man they're jealous of.

    5. Women are just on there for attention.

    "A girl with immaculate makeup, a sexy dress and absurd amounts of cleavage. We are wondering why this woman is even on the dating app in the first place since she is probably being approached 24/7 in person."

    Same happens to women bro. Really attractive guys are usually trying to grow a fan base and they will tell women to message them on another platform.

    6. Women get bored too easily

    This one is a toss up.

    7. Dogs are better/ 8. Women have no incentive to be better people

    Not much to say here either.

    • I'm not saying these things don't happen the other way around but the sheer statistics of women's right swipes vs left swipes should be a mic drop in and of itself. When looking at my profile and photos do you see any reason why I get 0 matches? Any at all? A less attractive woman would have 0 issues getting matches. Even if it is for just sex. I can't get any sort of attention whatsoever, sex, date... nothing. I think that is a direct result of the ridiculous level of pickiness of most women.

    • Most of what you said is just "cap" (as much as I hate to use this new lingo). "suits." Ok. The opposite of this are short, ugly, wimpy, poorly dressed, evidently broke, or lame based on their pics posing in front of their ran down cars or wearing their $10 outfits. This is the guy you want us to date?" Who said you should want the opposite? Just because I don't think you should expect lobster dinner doesn't mean that you should instead request a moldy hotdog. Just try a burger or spaghetti instead. Same goes for men. Try out that regular guy, decent shape, average height who works as an auto mechanic. Not this solid 10/10 dude who is 6'4" and makes 6 figures. Then swipe him left anyway just because he doesn't make you laugh within the first 2 messages.

    • "outfits". Eh the swipe stuff is whatever, it's not the real issue at hand. "When looking at my profile and photos do you see any reason why I get 0 matches? Any at all?" I really don't think you want me to answer this. You're not going to like it. "A less attractive woman would have 0 issues getting matches. Even if it is for just sex. I can't get any sort of attention whatsoever, sex, date... nothing." I'm confused. No matter what the attention is for. You want it? To the remaining: If you knew why women online dated, then you'd understand the outcome. But then, again, you wouldn't like that either because you clearly don't like the outcome. Why are you online dating?

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  • In my country, dating apps are full of guys looking for casual sex because arranged marriages are the norm. So a better place to find serious guys is matrimony apps/sites.
    Still I agree that women are way pickier but that has evolutionary reasons. Men can mate with many women without getting pregnant whereas women have to be more careful while choosing because our choices affect us more than men.
    That said, it is common knowledge how the top 5% guys select women. They have unlimited options so they're really finicky (even more so than most women). They all want a beautiful virgin in her twenties with a nice degree/job (at least the guys in my country care about her career a lot). I know many businessmen, doctors etc. who want such a woman.
    Additionally, a woman's value somehow declines after 30 even if she retains her looks and other good qualities. After that not many high-quality men are interested. So, at least guys have more time to select a partner. Plenty of gold diggers like men in their 50s so even those men seek the same women as the younger men.
    Thus, men almost always stay desirable. When they're young it's because of better looks and stamina and even when they're older due to more "resources".
    Besides all of that, in the Western countries women also have to "perform" in bed to win his heart and attract him for marriage. This increases their body count as the men keep dumping them. That further declines their value.
    If I were dating in the West, I would be the most worried about that. About being used and then discarded because someone wanted to "test drive" the "car" before "buying" it.
    At least in my culture I don't have to sleep around but still I'm reduced to merely an object, a pretty ornament of man's leisure.

    • A women's value doesn't decrease after 30 or any number. My type has been older women for the last 8 years, they don't like younger men though. Older women have that beautiful "put together" look that comes with experience. Not all of course, but some can glow as bright as the sun! Plus they tend to be thicker in all the right areas :)))))))))))

    • Yes women do decrease in biological value after 30 you idiot

    • The older a woman gets the harder it is to have a healthy pregnancy… men want children. If I didn’t want kids I would even bother with women to be completely honest. Also as people grow older their baggage increases. The more bad men women date the more they hold it against other men. And when people have many different partners it’s natural to compare them to current and future partners to the point a woman with 20 partners will be looking for a man that meets the best all them 20 guys showed her… men are less likely to have so many partners and due to how their treated here in the west their happy just being cared about… such low standards right. Couple of your points Ide like to correct. Your gold digger comment… do you really think men want a woman that only wants them for their money? You were on point mention biological differences with men and women but then you said women have to perform in bed to win a man… love is like a battery. For women it’s a battery being drained and for men it’s a battery being charged. From my experience men grow to care over time while women care up front and slowly get tired of a situation… It’s not the number of partners but the situation of the partners. For instance a woman who’s 30 with 10 partners all in long term relationships will get more respect from me then a 30 yr old who’s has 10 partners over the span of a few months… fewer partners is better but if she’s looking for a better life and not just a dick then at least I have a chance of giving her that life. You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • As a man here is what I see 95% of the time on dating app profiles (especially Tinder)

    - Women (real or fake) who day “follow me on Instagram” and virtually nothing else

    - Women who go on tirades about politics (99% of the time it’s about leftist ideals). It’s okay to talk about your political identity but since when were dating apps meant for political activism?

    - Very (truly) bizarre girls

    - Lots and lots of scams. It’s usually an attractive girl who is promoting her nude videos and/or only fans.

    - Women with extensively long laundry lists of what they want in a man

    - Fake/catfish profiles.

    It’s a giant shit show. Even if I take my time to swipe right on the seemingly legit/good profiles I might be lucky to get 1 out 20 matches on a day. I know I am not ugly either. I’m around a 7 to an 8. But what @jabariw18 is saying is very accurate. The odds are brutally stacked against men.

    Why the hell am I still using them you might ask. Well I’ve had some past success with them. Met my last two long term gfs on them. Yeah I was younger so I know that factored into it. But still the entire dating app scene is a giant sess pool with occasional (and increasingly infrequent oasis ‘s).

    So what the hell are single women doing nowadays? Are more and more of them just chasing 9s and 10s? Like @jabariw18 I don’t have much time to go out socializing 3-4 days a week to meet women. I’m not a college kid I got real responsibilities now.

    • Dashes 2 and 3 are too true OMG..

    • I’m lucky now my job gives me 15 days a month off lol. My last job had me working graveyard shift 5-6 days a Week…

    • @VanillaSalt are you a fireman?

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  • I'm sure there is a woman who would like you as you are. The first pic, however in modern day society you do not dress up to modern style. I would've recommend button the shirt completely, get darker pants, and some more name brand shoes that are not looking like sketchers shape ups... And keep your dreads retwisted. You will look more up to date. Also it might look better if you look a tad angrier.

    My thing with online dating is this. Nobodies style can be for everybody! So many girls will pass you up. They do not get to see your body language, or hear your charming words in person, or your voice. So while in person you may be much better, they only see the still of a picture. On top of that! pics aren't always accurate of how you look because we look different on different phones and different angles. Plus your own unique body language and facial expressions which is like its own charm can't be seen.

    My advice go out in person more. To the store, to the bar etc...

    • And don't worry about saying a perfect line. These girls will jump on whatever they like!

    • I have the same issue in person. Ad for the style, is my clothing really that much of a dealbreaker? I mean, I prefer dresses and skirts but I wouldn't pass a girl over it. I'd only pass a woman if she dressed like a man or if her clothes were beat up and dirty. I'm sure most men would agree. As I said, women are ridiculously picky. As for locs? I do get them retwisted regularly. And then the "look angrier" comment I have made similar posts to these over the years and consistently get told "You should smile and show your teeth, you look too tense." I can't show my teeth by the way, my lips are too big.

    • No! You can Google it angrier men look more attractive! Anyways yes your style will only attract with that work at the library. Please just watch some other mens style. But stay true to yourself! Dress a little more hip hop. You don't have to wear completely skinny jeans I hate skinny jeans just wear straight leg. Your jeans flair a little bit plus they are a terrible color. Dark jean is better and matches better. The shoes are a guide no. Try some Kobe's or lebron's

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What Girls & Guys Said

13 29
  • this was a good mytake and a good read well done for that. but i do have a few comments back about the whole online dating thing having gone through it and been where you are and learning.

    firstly, this is the new way of dating, i dont hear of many people these days that didn't meet on a dating app and met in the old fashion way of going to a club or pub etc. so in other words you have to find your game and how to work the site to your advantage, just like you would have in the old days, you would learn to dance so you stood out from your mates. work out what it is the ladies want and then use that to your advantage. i dont like tinder (never used it myself) but just seeing a pic and swiping is not a great way to start a relationship, just my humble opinion.

    ladies are getting to picky. this is a major problem, standards have gone up way to high. ladies that are a 5/6 seem to think that they can pull a 9/10 man because they are getting swipes and messages from them (mainly to be used for sex), but as that 9/10 has swiped (they may not want them as all he wants is sex), but they believe that a 9/10 will come around and be nice (1 in a million man). if they were in a night club there wouldn't be that many 9/10s out there so they would be more realistic as the 9/10 would normally have some good looking lady on his arm or around them and they would see that and back away feeling that they were not good enough as she was more beautiful and settle for a lesser 5/6 man instead. on line they dont see the number of 9/10's that he has hit yes to so oblivious to it.

    distance seems to be no problem these days. i was getting messages from people in different cotenants, people in the US and far away. this naturally increases the pool of people that we can see and puts that unrealistic opinion that there are many 9/10's out there and that they can wait it out for the perfect man. reality is that i am not moving country for a lady, i have a life and a job and a family. dont get me wrong sometimes people do move for love but most of the time its people in your area.

    now back to my point of working the app to your favor. i started out trying to write messages to ladies and going back and fourth and getting to know them but as you stated, responses would dry up and it would fizzle out. this is because people still want to meet people in real life and see them (make sure they are not a cat fish (happened to me)). so i set a rule that on the 3rd message i would end it with would you like to meet for a drink or try and arrange a meeting, but basically a date. after the 2nd message, you know that they are interested and have them hooked so to speak, so now is the time to meet in person before you get friend zoned or they get board. im no 9 or 10, by a long way of the imagination, but i was seeing at least 1 girl every week. it was nice to get out being single and not just with mates, it was good to meet new people and you never know you may just meet the one.

    dont get caught up on one girl, you are not dating and are playing the field, so play it, message multiple ladies at once, chat to as many as possible, dont get hooked up on 9/10's message all ladies that even slightly take your fancy, they may not be the type that is good online and is great in person. some had old photos and looked better in photos then in real life (happened to me once, a lady came up to me in the pub, it was my date and i couldnt recognize her from the photos published, later spoke to a friend that knew her and they were nearly 5 year old photos).

    looks dont last for ever. try and search out ladies that you know you will have a connection with, i was into SCUBA diving so would message people that had that listed as an interest. 1 i knew that we had something in common, so could talk about it and not have so many awkward silences. we also had a shared interest so we could do things together and if you got more than one date you could do an activity that you both liked. no point going for a 9/10 that wasn't prepared to get her hair wet, she may look good on an arm but in 10/20 years time she won't look like that and you ahve nothing in common. be sensible with who you message.

    when responding to a lady try and pick out something from their profile and ask questions about it, show and interest. this works in a couple of ways, she knows that you have read the profile and not just clicked on the pic's. secondly it gives her something to respond to, you have asked a question and she may answer it. messages that are Hi, you look good, etc etc, how does a girl/lady respond to that "thanks" wow thats a great chat. like anything in life, the more you put in the more you get out, yes reading takes time and writing messages more than "Hi" takes up time but shows you are interested and makes you stand out. shows your intelligence and that you are articulate. this is especially good for those that are shy and reserved etc as they can think about a response and send it in their time and not put on the spot. lastly by responding to what she has written, she will be more inclined to respond to that message as she is interested in the subject and has something to talk about.

    when you do finally get that elusive date and go, be prepared (can tell i was a scout lol), have some conversations up your sleeve, some questions ready, ask them and wait for a response, dont keep jumping in telling them how great you are, let them find out. when she responds to the question, think about what she has said and respond back with a thoughtful answer and not "thats cool" oh what was the next question i have to ask, improvise. if she said she has dogs (i know thats you pet hate lol) but ask what breed, where do you take it for walks etc, take that conversation further, she's interested and wants to talk about it. look good and smell nice, emphasis on SMELL, a lot of ladies will remember you by smell and if you smell good it will imprint on them that you are good as they associate with the smell. doesn't have to be designer cloths, but a nice shirt, jeans and shoes. dress for the occasion.

    at the end of the first date, if you want another one, dont wait for a message and go back to on line, come right out, tell them you have had a great night/date and would like to see them again, get in early and arrange that next date. women like that and are normally up for it. it also again shows your interested and not just looking for sex. you dont always have to have the next date planned but think of fun things that you can do together. dont just go oh fancy another drink, do something STAND OUT from the rest, i used to take ladies to the boat show if it was on, you get to walk around and look at expensive boats and dream, chat about what you want as well as have a distraction, picnic's are a good idea, you can get a nice bit of food drink etc and go somewhere nice together, stay away from cinema and clubs as can't talk and get to know them better. but the more out of the normal you get the more you will stick in their mind.

    lastly pay compliments, who doesn't like getting compliments. on line it can be simple, you have a great profile, loved reading it and so much better than the others, i feel like i know something about you and would like to get to know you more. when meeting, one of the best opening lines i received was "wow you look so much better than in your profile pics" that really stated the date off well, she was already better than the rest (not looks or anything like that) but it made me feel good and that what we all want. so compliment them on the way they have dressed and done their hair etc but not too cheesy or it can go the other way. some of the ladies i met and present included are amazed that i could tell them what they wore on their first date, i took time to notice the shoes, skirt, top etc, imprint that in your mind, it shows that you are paying attention and that it must have gone well.

    very very last. dont expect sex on first date. if you walk away with a kiss you won. in fact dont push for sex at all until they do. yes we want to have sex, but by pushing you can push them away, let them put the signs out and then make a move, this could be the first date and you could be lucky, but generally it isn't, i waited untill date 10 with one lady and she said it was nice that i wasn't just after sex and also had her wanting it bad so worked both ways. a little self control can go a long way.

    anyways thats enough from me, its almost a mytake in response. good lucka nd hope you meet someone soon

  • It's interesting coming across this 🤔, after I had just been suggested and then watched a short video on a channel called "Beyond Exceptional" who got some interesting thoughts from Jordan Peterson:

    https://youtu.be/DG6o6_Y4hyA
    • Jordan Peterson is getting into all kinds of topics these days. If only 5% of women are swiping right, maybe some of them aren't really there to swipe in the first place, and are just those "seeds" placed to make it seem like there are more women on there than there really are.

  • This is accurate of many women's profiles on dating apps:

    "… women's profiles [on dating apps] mostly tend to make demands, requirements, and expectations but never tell what they have to offer the man."

  • I agree with all of what you've said, but for some reason I focused on the 5% figure; I had heard an earlier 20% figure (where nearly all women will deem 80% of men "below average"), but this kinda inflates my ego, as I do really well on dating apps...

    My photos are usually crap (they're just gym selfies, and a couple my ex took of me), and I'm generally not very funny. I still match with plenty of attractive/ very attractive girls (including one I smashed this morning... She contacted me at 2am, then took 4 hours to get ready).

  • I don't use dating apps anymore and this is why unfortunately. I used to years ago.
    Women have a very similar issue when using them like you said.

  • I never signed up for any of these dating websites/apps. So can’t relate 😅. Some people mistakes GAG as one ☝️. Bruh, just because I sent you a DM doesn’t mean I want to marry you or date you. Can’t we just be at least friendly and civil?

  • I am not knowledgeable about dating apps but what you describe makes sense. However, outside of dating apps, I don't believe you should have trouble attracting women. You have a very desirable height, very good bilateral symmetry (the primary characteristic of good looks), and smooth clear skin. You are articulate and apparently quite intelligent. Therefore, you have the characteristics that attract women.

    The only negative is my first impression, prior to reading your post. I didn't have a good first impression based on your dress and hair. I'm not competent to suggest the clothes or hair style that would be better. Instead, look at some young actors and find one with a look that you would be comfortable with.

  • My brother has tried Tinder & other dating apps & CONSTANTLY gets bitches who want him to send them money to come see him or to visit their website "to see more" 🤮 he's been banned from Tinder because he told some girl to go fuck herself because she wanted his credit card information & he refused to give it. I think the minute those "girls" ask for money, they should be reported & banned.

    Verses me who uses the apps & at least expects to only find fuck boys. But fortunately I found my SO & we have a very energetic 7mo now 😂

    Online dating isn't everyone's cup of tea, but for every 100 fuck boys/girls there's 1 decent person.

    • Yeah and for every 100 fake girls there is 1 real girl... and her name is Tim XD

    • Pretty spot on if you're on Tinder 😂

  • I think a lot women stop taking online dating seriously cause men where starting to admit that they were using those sites just for hookups and nothing else aka online prostitution. The women eventually got sick of it and thought we'll screw it, if it's going to be treated like a sex service, then I might as well try to make some money out of it.

    That's why a lot women became hesitant, immediately rejected men, used the site like facebook, or just started plugging in their onlyfans accounts. Even my male coworkers admit to this day guys are just using it for hookups so can you really be mad at the women who are now just seeing sites like tinder as a source of income? If you're just wanting sex or pics, then you're going to have to pay for it.

    I also think it's cause of MySpace and Facebook, people don't use social media anymore to really talk. They just have one to have one and will add you for the heck of it. If they don't already know you, they aren't going to say anything or add you.

  • Agree mostly, i think guys are more likely to seek improvement. We kinda see that in who we idolise.

    Men tend to tell each other that we need to do better and idolise figures that encourage us to improve (definitely some outliers out there)

    - Jordan peterson

    - successful entrepreneurs

    - people who give life tips.

    Typically women will typically tell each other that they don't need to change regardless of weight, status or interests. A man that doesn't accept them as they are isn't worth it. Quite obvious with the fat acceptance movement and how common onlyfans now is. I think a lot of women that are 5s, 6s or less kinda believe they're higher because the low percent of men that they are interested in that are 10s would happily bang them till they move on

    On dating apps, it's pretty easy to just get chased

  • i see both sides to be honest. with your post but also you have girls who want to be taken care of with money if they put out and then you have guys who just want sex, but somehow those two groups never want to date each other? dating in general is very odd.

  • Dare I say the majority of men who have trouble on dating apps are really not doing anything "wrong." Put bluntly, they are just being judged too harshly and rejected as a result of it.

    They are doing it wrong that is the issue. Men don't compete they just exist and on dating apps you have to compete. Better photos, bio and game. They aren't being judged too harshly because I see the profiles... they all suck.

  • It sucks for men more because a lot of girls i know use filters

  • Basically social media has been harmful to both men and women but it has devastated women. That said there is a real problem with men raised after the mid-90s, when schools started changing the way they teach to appeal more to what motivates girls.

    The boys in said classes subsequently lost interest in learning and fell thou the floor leaving them where they are today.

    So women who are programed to be hypergamous to secure resources for themselfs while pregnant and their children naturally find such men whom they would have to support useless. Hence our current demographic issue and the near total collapse of the family.

  • I think I’ve spent more time scrolling down through this extremely long post full of complaints than I have actually reading the past 10 questions combined.


    Yes , I agree dating apps are awful. Fortunately I did not meet my husband on one.

  • Your penultimate paragraph was actually quite interesting in that women's bad behaviour doesn't get punished. Like they can be snooty and have an overly inflated sense of their own dating value, and still they will get swarms of males, many of whom entirely eligible, stroking their egos. Like there's plenty of average looking women with a big pair of tits on this website, and they get 100 simps saying how gorgeous and hot they look.

    In my own experience dating sites are a totally dismal experience for men. You say so yourself. And yet you're still buying into this system, frequenting dating sites, patronising female profiles, liking them, messaging them. You say you swipe positively for 50% of them? Do you really fancy 50% of women you see on there? Can't you see this is debasing? TBH, I don't swipe positively for more than 5% of women. It's important to take your rose tinted lenses off and say most women are entirely average. This is fine, but don't feed the beast.

    But ultimately yeah, I think you know that if you have this introversion or you don't like to go out, then you need to challenge it, or find your own niche for social activities. See it as developmental. I still use dating sites, which is not to my credit, but in fairness to me, I still go out a lot.

  • Good take, and I agree.. In the end meeting people in real life is much better than dating apps.. Dating apps (especially places like tinder) have certain types of women.. Women that ultimately you probably wouldn't want to be with in the long run.. Not to mention its mostly just shallow window shopping.. Most people don't read the bios and go off of the first pics while swiping..

  • I think it's about time we accept as a society that the dating app experiment has failed. Maybe people got a better 'match rate' (ie: both guy and girl swipe right on each other and respond to each other's messages) back in the Wild West days of these apps. But as with any zero sum game, the match rate becomes more and more one-sided, until the inevitable conclusion is reached that women themselves quit the apps. They will quit the apps because eventually their standards will have become so artificially inflated (reinforced by subsequent iterations of an ever-tightening matching algorithm that soft-locks an increasing number of men out of the options pool altogether) that today's "desirable" men will have become tomorrow's "not good enoughs".

    Thus leaving the women to either:

    A) compete over the 0.0000001% of male users who "make the grade" and being okay with being "bedpost notch #1743";

    B) quite altogether and console one another with admonitions about this somehow being "men's fault".

    And I say bring it on! The dating app experiment has proven to be a net negative for the human race, and the sooner everyone realises it, the sooner we can hit 'reset' on the distribution curve by doing things the good old-fashioned way. The fact is, those 9s and 10s who get thousands of followers on Instagram aren't getting approached IRL, period. In fact they're starved for the kind of real-life connection and intimacy they act so hard to distance themselves from in their Tinder bios. As a man the best way to separate yourself from the crowd of online dick-on-demand in women's eyes is to just approach a woman in the real world and start a conversation. She might be receptive, she might not, but it at least requires her to evaluate you as an actual person rather than a collection of "requirements" with a mugshot attached. When she sees your dating profile, she's not evaluating you as an actual potential mate. She's evaluating how much social currency she can extract from "allowing" you to entertain her facile whims and calls for attention. But IRL, she can't evaluate you through that same filter, and so there's a chance she might actually feel some attraction just on the merit of your interaction with her. It doesn't guarantee success, but it breaks you out of that zero-sum game. Plus there's the novelty of being the guy who does what other men won't do. If you don't like the rules, play a different game.

  • I'm not reading all of that, but I passed on every last woman I saw, and it was thousands upon thousands.

    None of the ones in my country shared my hobbies and interests, while also being attractive looking to me, while also not being religious, while also not having or wanting kids, while also not drinking any alcohol ever, not smoking ever, and not doing any drugs ever, while also being within 10 years of my age, while also not giving me a "this user's inbox is full" notification when trying to message her.

    The way those apps/sites are set up, it's too limiting in terms of being able to custom search for a perfect match or communicate with her.

    • The irony, is that despite all that, because I'm picky, anything other than a good online dating app/site, can't help me find someone. The odds of finding that type of girl in person. is so low, that I'd have to knock on every door in the city, just to randomly stumble on the cute, geeky, shut-in of an artistic gamer.

  • Create a fake account pretending to be a woman and you’ll understand

    • Or maybe you should try reading category 3 of the OP. Just a thought.

    • I did….

    • Uh oh Ms. Subaru with the hot takes.. 😂😂..

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