Girls, Why do girls make up excuses to not have sex?

My girlfriend and I are 21 and have been together 5 years but recently it seems that she wants nothing to do with me sexually at all and every time I try to initiate there’s a new excuse ex. my back hurts or I have a head ache and I’ve even noticed she’ll preface it hours before so she has an excuse for later understandably I respect 100% if she just doesn’t want to sometimes that’s her choice always! But when you don’t want to all the time now it feel like a problem it’s left me completely under satisfied in the sexual side of our relationship although I’m entirely satisfied with every other aspect we go out on dates I surprise her all the time I’m a clean person I pick up after myself and clean the house cook and clean as every man should as well but I feel like she just doesn’t want me sexually anymore is what it sometimes feels like
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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • You don’t eat her pussy enough. Don’t just fuck her. Be romantic and lick her nipples and her erogenous zones. Pleasure her more and make it her pleasure. She may also be going through something psychologically with sex. I hated sex before and was with someone for 7 years and cheated on him. The guy I cheated on him with seduced me. I tried to push him off and he just kept touching me every where. He pulled my bra down and licked my nipples. It felt so good and was kissing me everywhere. I never knew it could feel so good with someone licking your nipples. But it’s the way you do it as well. You can’t just start licking them like a dog. You have to be sexy and sensual and be into it like it’s all about her pleasure. Not yours. I still tried to push him off but he ripped my pants down and hurriedly put his mouth on clitorous and started eating me out and just couldn’t do anything anymore. It just felt too damn good. He was being so sensual about everything he was doing. It was the best sex I ever had and I was scared of sex at that time. But that wonderful experience made me break up with my boyfriend of 7 years because I though, how come some man can make me feel Ike this and I’ve never experienced this with my own boyfriend. He helped open my eyes.

    • You keep doing nothing and not seducing her someone will and she will be gone. Like what happened to me. My other boyfriend just fucked me and didn’t care about my pleasure.

Most Helpful Girl

  • After being together for 5 years, routine gets the upper hand and intimacy just becomes boring. Some say that the honeymoon period has faded away and there is no longer an interest in being sexual.

    That is relatively normal for a great number of people that have been together for a longer period of time.

    However, there could also be a number of underlying reasons why she lacks the motivation to be intimate:

    1. serious health issues.
    2. personal problems, perhaps with her family.
    3. subtle and progressive lack of libido due to hormonal imbalance.
    4. problems at work/school affecting her emotions.
    5. suspicion that YOU are cheating.
    6. She is possibly having an affair.

    Now, the last 2 ones are just hypothetical and I would rather look into the 4 first ones.
    Talk with her and if it does not help, seek the assistance of a counselor. Good luck.

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What Girls Said

(11)
  • The issue may be something else and she is masking it with excuses. Best to be straight and politely ask why she doesn’t feel like being intimate anymore.

    • I’ve tried this multiple times I’ve explained in other reply’s I’m always extremely supportive and understanding but it’s just a brick wall every time.. then after that conversation it makes sex weird not because it doesn’t feel authentic or then it shuts her down and we won’t have sex for 6 months until she forgets about the conversation... and I’m 21 I’m like at my horniest age lol I don’t want to waste all this time not enjoying my body before I’m ugly and old 😂😂

    • Is it just becoming “boring”? Have you tried to spicy things up? Just trying to get a sense of what’s going on. Thanks for the reply!

    • Yes lots of times bought new fun toys, go to new places all the time it’s never scheduled I’ve always tried to make it different and more enjoyable each time I can tell when we do she enjoys it a lot the issue is just her wanting to do it which is what makes no sense...

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  • Cuz they don’t want to have sex
    That’s seems like pretty to the point tbh

  • It sounds like you’ve reached more of a friendship. You need to talk.

  • I've never made up a excuse to not have sex. Even if I don't feel like having sex I'll give him a blowjob/handjob

    • See my girlfriend won’t even do that for me:( I would gladly take a quick hand job most nights

    • Have you tried talking to her about this issue?

    • And even to make it worse I’ll eat her out when we do, do anything sexual forever I make 100% she is satisfied in every way and she will give me a blow job like 1 every 6 months

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  • I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…. BLOWJOBS are the key to relationship success. It’s simple biology. I get it. Guys want to enjoy their toy nature gave them. It’s an ages old problem.
    All I can say is you might try explaining this to your girlfriend or you might need to find another partner.

  • i would at this point ask her, not trying to be mean but does she have anyone on the side? you just never know, unless you ask hey whats going on if its every single time

    • Yeah no she doesn’t and I know for certain I produce music so we are home together all the time and I have checked her phone she really doesn’t and she doesn’t go out to meet anyone except our mutual friends that are girls (they are not the wild type) also I have talked to her about my sexual frustration and she says well she doesn’t want to have sex when she doesn’t want to and I’ve said that okay if you don’t want to it’s your choice but it feel like a problem when you never want to...

    • the only way to find out would be to communicate you know? ask her why she doesn't, is something wrong etc?

    • No I’ve literally tried to get it out of her and it’s literally nothing other than the fact she just doesn’t want to... and like I said she feels bad for not wanting to sometimes and that’s why she has a whole Book of excuses

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  • Could be affair...

  • Because sometimes the truth doesn’t work

  • If she's making up excuses she probably feels like she's been pressured to do it before when she didn't really want to.

    Also question. You talk about your satisfaction, what about hers? Could the reason potentially be that she isn't getting anything out of sex?

    • Absolutely. Even though it’s your boyfriend it can still feel like rape. My ex boyfriend would pressure me when I didn’t want to and it just made everything worse and made me feel like I was being raped. He basically was raping me even though I loved him. It made me scared of sex and made it disgusting for me.

  • I never do lol

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