Why do guys make such a big deal out of a girls sexual history?

Question

I had quite a wild sex life before meeting my SO. Yes, I admit, to the point it was getting unhealthy. My SO is also my first real relationship so before that, it were always casual sex encounters. I always was angry about the fact that guys were allowed to fuck around and we weren't so I always wore my sexual history with pride, even though I knew 99% of others were laughing at me.

Since I got with my SO, I noticed he had trouble with it. He knows kind of what I did and I stopped talking about it so he didn't have to get confronted with it. I never understood what hurts him about it since he is the only guy I actually loved and stayed with. Now a week ago we went to a reunion of my students club in university (a typical Belgian thing) and of course there were a lot of guys around that I had sex with or had blown. I admit it was kind of uncomfortable with my boyfriend there and a bunch of these guys in the room and of course a lot of stories and jokes being brought up about me being the club slut.

My SO has received this meme for the past 5 days, always from a new and untracable account.

Why do guys make such a big deal out of a girls sexual history?

And a laughing emoji or "just a reminder" or "good luck with -my name-". He feels completely humiliated and we have no idea who does it, if it's one person or more doing this as a joke. But why do guys get so hurt by a gir'ls past, and why do the others take pride in being a "just fucked her" guy and have fun humiliating the guy who actually dated her? Please explain.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Because we do... or a lot of men do.

Let me rephrase that one more time. A lot of men care and are disgusted by a woman's past IF WE WANT TO GO LONG TERM WITH HER OR POSSIBLY MARRY HER.

If a guy hopes to luck out and get some girl to sleep with him... not caring about her at all, he is just attracted to her body and welcomes the chance to experience her and have her in every way and then just go on, he couldn't care less if she's been with 500 men or what she does. He doesn't care about her.

But... but, the girlfriend, the wife. She's different. She's special to him. He may want to give his heart to her, fall in love, go long term, she is unique to him above all other women.

Oh, 25 men have already screwed her and she's had on night stands with a bunch of strangers? Oh, she's done some threesomes? She's let all of these porn addicted guys try out every twisted kink on her they can think of?

It changes her in his eyes and he hates the thought of all those men inside her.

You say "MEN ARE ALLOWED" No they aren't. That is 100% YOUR CALL. If you don't like it then don't date men with wild, long pasts. Most girls don't really care that much.

Why? Because you are girls. Men and women care about DIFFERENT THINGS. WE ARE NOT THE SAME. Just because you legally have the same rights doesn't mean we are exactly the same, we value different things with the opposite sex. Just like men don't care that you are tall or that you make a lot of money, or that you are good provider, men do care if she has been around too much.

You think women should sleep around and not have men care and not avoid you or no longer want to marry you or break up with you? Too bad. Men want what they want.

That meme is spot on.

If she gave it up for everyone... why should the last guy (if he isn't a nice guy simp, cuck and white knight) make you SPECIAL and want to commit and offer up his resources, legally bind himself to her, have kids with, bring her to meet his family and spend holidays with them when she routinely just gave all of herself to some drunk guy at the bar... etc.

Men and women are different and value different things. Most would love it if there wives were virgins. Any man she had before her husband was cheating on her husband.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

Because it usually means that the more promiscuous the person is, the less likely they value themselves, personal and intimate relationships and the more unlikely they will be able to be satisfied with one partner and able to bond with a partner.

We guys know that the likelihood of being with a woman who has been with someone already is high. We don't want to think about the other dudes that were with her beforehand, much less know and see who they are. We want to believe we are blowing packing peanuts off a fresh product.

So when your boyfriend sees all of these guys who you slept with and blew during this reunion, of course he is going to be uncomfortable. See all the guys that you did things with tell stories about what you did and then be made fun of because you were the one person foolish enough to lock down the town bike.

That is why men are particular with a woman's past. More partners means less likely to value building personal relationships and pair bonding. If she didn't value her sexuality and gave it up freely and he had to work to get that level of commitment before any sex whereas others got it for next to nothing, it is not a good look.

happyfoetus · Accepted Answer

Girl it was your choice to have had sex with multiple partners. But there is nothing wrong. Many women have multiple sex partners.

If your guy is upset of you having multiple partners in the past, then ask him to leave. He knew that from the beginning and shoudnt create a scene now out of no-where.

According to what I understood, you didn't cheat on him ever since being exclusive. If he can't see your value as a person above your body count, he is a walking red flag.

But if he is getting hurt by the fact that others are making fun of him for your past, feel free to approach the cops with evidence.

Every human holds right to integrity. These morons shouldn't run away with this. If they can do it to you today, they will pull this (real or fake) on someone tomorrow and destroy their happiness.

Last, to you. Stay positive. You are not wrong here. The ones around you are. If you feel depressed or sad or anxious, reach out for support. You are a great human and much above these morons. Your body count or your past will not define who you are as a person.

A_Bell · Accepted Answer

I was a little minx when I was younger. I grew up with a house full of sisters and Catholic girls parochial school until 9th grade where I switched to a college prep high school. I got introduced to non-family boys for the first time and fell in love. Many times.

By the time I was off to college I was fairly experienced and started drinking, but never drugs, just risky dumb hook ups.

Thankfully, I grew up and out of that. And met my future husband at the perfect time. He never really asked about how many or my history and still hasn't. I haven't broached the topic either.

Our past is now meaningless, and we are making a future together with our soon to be three kids.

ohsheeT · Answer

Because guys like all the information they can get on the grill so when they get caught for telling a lie and using them they have another excuse why they backed out

If a guy asks you what your sexual history is it's your choice to tell him yes no how many whatever personally I would not tell him not unless you're going to get married and he wants to know because of STDs but what you do in that case you just both go in and get checked at the same time it's nobody's business but yours and if a guy's tries to make it his business tell him to f****** hit the road

EricSummer · Answer

Those others had sex with you once, but they are not with you now and they never spent a significant part of your life with you. Not sure if you want kids, but if you do that will also make the guy so much more important in your life.

It depends what a man wants I suppose. It seems to me that your boyfriend gets a lot more from you than those others. Before even talking about love and commitment I expect you have also had sex more often and maybe more than with all the others combined. If not, keep going. Time is on your side.

Anemone978 · Answer

Because when everyone knows that they have got to be with you they think of you as garbage and then think the guy you are with should get the hell out of there and not commit to that sort of person.. You have to realize you let these men have sex with you and look how they laugh at you. You completely shamed yourself.. It is crazy you would let them use you like that.. That is why I wish women would realize you can not use men they only use us.. That will never change because we are the ones that get came in.. we don't cum in them lol

Billlewis · Answer

Because there is nothing more exciting than hearing about her most recent intimate sexual encounters in vivid detail, and listening to her effusively praise the last lucky guy whom she enjoyed a steamy lovemaking session with.

LazerBean · Answer

Because sexual history is a big deal, but not just for women. A smart woman will both keep herself away from that baggage, and also give men the same scrutiny so that she doesn't end up with baggage from a damaged man. Man and women with high body counts have higher divorce rates, lower marital satisfaction rates, and are more likely to be mentally ill.

Berethor · Answer

Because why commit to such an easy girl? also a slut is likely to cheat on the guy she is with.

inhua · Answer

if this is your husband, I wonder what your father would think of you

I'm sure he's proud of his baby girl all grown up and being used like a wet issue by horny men who couldn't give a rat's ass about you

your husband is now going to have spend the rest of his time, energy, finances and resources committing to you where the other guys got a piece of you for free and he's paying full price

Samantha36 · Answer

Don't want to go too much into it as most on here are fridged with double standards and I'm fed up of talking to idiots lol.

a lot if Guys can't handle a woman who likes sex and knows how to get it... but they want us to be good in bed! However most people I know in real life don't care, it's just people on here.

I also slept around a lot from when I was 15. I'm now in a relationship with the only man iv ever truly loved. Someone on here called him a lover because he accepts my past. He's a real man, with good values and morals that is more concerned with the present and the future. The other guys are just small minded and insecure.

Drewtate · Answer

It's a natural response and a girls past sexual history is an indication of whether or nor she will be loyal. I've dated a few women with slutty pasts but I was never going to commit to them

Kaamraj · Answer

Biologically it's because men want to ensure paternity. Psychologically because the best bet of future behaviour is past behaviour, people normally don't change. Sociological reasons is because no man wants to commit and pay for something other men have had for free, it makes him look like a fool in front of his peers.

Dargil · Answer

It's an indication as to whether she will be faithful in a relationship and, in the case of some things she has done, a reflection on her character.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I'm guessing that a wild history is being associated with someone who may not be able to commit, because of the many partners. Fear that you might want to mess around with another man again and again. Cheating.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I think it's probably a social relic from a time when sexuality was a bigger risk for women than it is today. For most of human history, women having sex was dangerous. There were huge health risks; STDs, unplanned pregnancy. Financial risks; who would take care of the unclaimed child. The simple fact is that even in the dark days of patriarchy, women were going to do whatever they were going to do and a woman who wanted to sleep around behind her husband's back wouldn't have any difficulty doing it.

Back before women had modern safety nets, men had to contend with the idea that a sexually promiscuous woman came with the risk of STDs from other men and the possibility of raising children that weren't his. Hell, it even happens today.

Alexz0 · Answer

I know. It really doesn't matter how many we've banged. I hate it when people make a big deal over it.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Because no one wants to get cheated on, divorced, or catch stds, or be stuck with an ex because of kids, and women like you are a very high risk for causing all of that.

Something to keep in mind, is that most of us guys that are judging you, do not sleep around, we deserve someone as loyal, safe and smart and loving about sex and relationships as we are, and women like you are not it.

Women who had lots of partners also don't see sex as a way to emotionally connect and cling to a person/seal in commitment, so it ruins the sex and its not special anymore and just feels gross like I'm being used and can easily be replaced.

Its also just really disgusting to think about some other guy's jizz having been in the same place I'm putting my dick, so it just makes you seem really gross in my opinion.

Grond21 · Answer

It's because women have more to lose biologically than men do by a casual hook up. Therefore, it's usually women ones who are in control of whether or not sex happens. And if a woman gives it away freely she is not discerning, despite the high cost to her biologically.

It is a sign of low value and character

Mickbert · Answer

NGL, I’m the guy with the flowers! Lol

DextroShade · Answer

There is nothing more embarrassing to a man than walking into a room with a woman he's taking seriously and other guys in the room have fucked her.

Every major civilization in the history of the world has shamed female promiscuity and there are three big reasons reasons why:

1. Promiscuous women are a bad bet for paternity. Men have always had to protect and provide for women and their children, and men are only willing to do that if they know the kids is theirs. For most of human history there has not been paternity testing available, so the only way a man could ensure paternity was to marry a virgin.

2. Promiscuous women don't make good partners for long-term relationships. Studies have shown that higher body counts in women are correlated with higher likelihood of her initiating a divorce. More partners usually means more trauma that he has to deal with and her constantly comparing him to the previous guys.

3. She has a higher likelihood of having an STD.

Luopio27 · Answer

Because they are immature.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Because he's just a number waiting, where do i book, i want a number too or you know what? I ain't sticking my golden stick into a trash bag, forget about it 🤣🤣 sorry angel, acting like innocent girl won't get you nowhere...
He chose to be with you so he have to accept your porn past and being available for all the males in the world

Why do guys make such a big deal out of a girls sexual history?

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