Why do I feel disgusting?

So I am recently out of the closet as gay. I've known... Pretty much since I was a small kid. I was accepted for the most part. I've been dating this guy for a couple months but last night he did something that made me uncomfortable... I hadn't ever had sex with anyone up until last night. We were kissing and I decided I was ready to lose my virginity. He had me get on all 4s. We did some foreplay as in he gave me a hand job. I asked him where the condom was and he goes "What? You think I'm gonna get you pregnant ". I said "No. Just gotta be careful about diseases ". Neither of us got tested before this. And he didn't listen. Just shoved it up there. It hurt really bad and I asked him to stop 5x. By the 3rd he told me to stop being a baby. He stopped by the 5th and said I'm a baby. And that was that. That was my first time. And now I feel absolutely disgusting...
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Superb Opinion

  • You feel disgusting because you asked him to wear a condom and he didn't, that's sexual assault, you asked him to stop multiple time and he didn't, that's rape. Although technically many places still don't recognise rape of a man and classify it ubder sexual assault, basically that is what happened. You need to think hard as to if you want to press charges against him, it's all very well people saying to need to report him, and you should, but I'm sure it's been hard enough on you coning out, only now to get dragged through the courts. I would say that because you were a virgin he took advantage of you, regardless of if you choose to press charges I hope you cut him loose and never see him again. Might be an idea to get some counselling to help you deal with the way you feel.

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is why I am disgusted by certain people. The two of you could have engaged in beautiful sin, were either of you cautious enough to get yourselves tested first.

    The moment you realized he's not going to put on a condom he wasn't your lover anymore but an amalgamation of vial disease. Both of you turned him into a monster.

    • I didn't turn him into a monster. And don't go preaching at me. It's not gonna work. I asked him to stop several times. All I wanted was him to wear a condom...

Most Helpful Girl

  • That is called rape and you should report it immediately... because chances are that you're not the only one he has raped and will probably not be the last.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 4
  • Your 1st time should have been better than that. (I'm not gay by the way) did you two use some lube? Did you orgasm from the handjob?

  • It's understandable you'd have very negative feelings after experiencing that. Get therapy and definitely get tested for STDs.


  • Go to a clinic and get yourself tested.

  • Uggh