Why do I have this fantasy? is it just girls with daddy issues?

Question

I have this fantasy of being kidnapped and stuff. I don’t want to say it. And being controlled and someone actually abusing me and being possivle. Is this normal! All the guys I go for HAVE to be older than me and controlling and I like it? I am 20. My dad only came back when I was 18. All my life ivr had this fantasy. Like I want to get kidnapped so badly. I don’t know what’s wrong with me? The guys I speak to have to treat me horrible otherwise I hate it. I wouldn’t say my dad was bad but he wasn’t emotionally there he would ignore me and I’d cry and cry?

Lulu897 · Accepted Answer

Well this obviously most definitely isn’t a normal fantasy, but I understand you. And from what I have read I believe you feel this way because you want to be loved and cared for and believe that that can only shown in a toxic way and crave the abuse and control because as a child a parent is supposed to take care and responsibility for their child and if you didn’t receive that in your childhood you want to receive it in your love life you want someone to take responsibility of you and own you you want to belong to someone. The good dad part I think you want that because whatever you didn’t have as a child you want to see it in a male figure to heal your childhood trauma. I hope you find true healthy love, I hope you realise you don’t actually crave a abuse and controlling man you crave the reason behind that <3

TheSpaceGnome · Accepted Answer

I think you are just bad at saying you want to be loved and valued, and that you want to know that when someone says that to you, that its actually true (because people lied to you before).

If someone valued you so much, that they were willing to risk imprisonment to have you, you are seeing that as sort of the extreme end of that, instead of thinking about how kidnapping is forced, and therefor isn't love. But, In your mind, it's being "wisked away from fake people by an admirer (there is a princess arranged marriage trope over this in movies and tv).

What you actually want I'm guessing, is to be able to trust an SO when they say they love you, and to have an SO that treats you like treasure, and that is normal, but your expression of it is not.

inhua · Accepted Answer

fantasies can come from anywhere there are dudes out there who grew up in healthy family units with a strong father figure and a strong mother figure and for some reason those dudes enjoy cuckoldry.

rachel776 · Answer

we all have our own fantasies

SnowedIn · Answer

Everyone has fantasies. Embrace it! And, yes, you are normal. No, others may not share your fantasies, but that's okay. Be you and enjoy being you.

slatyb · Answer

That is a very common fantasy.

JPresidente · Answer

It probably speaks to lacking a fatherly influence most of your life so you are craving a guy who can be like that and fill that void. The kidnapping thing I see a lot on this site. A lot of women have this fantasy.