Why do I only get horny and think about sexual things when I’m alone in my bed? Why don’t I ever find myself “checking women out” in public?

[WhiteBoyChill]

So like I don’t ever actually get horny when I’m around actual women.

The thought just never crosses my mind of having sex with women when I’m around actual women.

I tend not to look at women in sexual areas when I’m around them. Regardless of what they’re wearing. Its just something that I subconsciously don’t ever think about.

Is this the reason I’m still a virgin?

Because the only time I ever get horny is when I’m alone?

Anways I just feel really stupid.

It’s like all the other guys will talk amongst eachother about a girl they seen but I don’t bother to notice anything

Like I’m just tired of feeling left out.

I only bother to notice girls tits and asses when I’m looking at pictures of them on social media.

That’s the only time I ever get horny.

[HighlyVolatile]

It might actually be as a result of being a virgin. I didn't start checking out girls much either until I lost my virginity. I was also much more of a face man when I was a virgin and especially not much of an ass man.

I think once I lost my virginity, it's like I started to associate women's immediate bodies around me more in sexual terms and not just in my fantasies when I'm alone. Like you see a woman bending over in front of you and the dirty part of the mind remembers doggystyle now that we've actually experienced it.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Hm. Interesting. I just feel kinda left out around the guys

[HighlyVolatile]

If you lose the virginity you might find yourself irresistibly wanting to turn around and check women out when they pass by like the worst of us hounds. :-D I never imagined being that type of guy but now I can't help but do it (although I make sure not to do it in front of the wife).

[HighlyVolatile]

Also IIRC, things kind of reversed from the way you described. Instead of getting most horny when I was alone, I would get it when I'm surrounded by women. I started to assume their perfume, the way you feel the air when they pass by, the sound of their voice, their touch, everything, to sex. So I even started jerking off sometimes at work (in a private bathroom, of course), just to get that out of my system since I can't concentrate.

[HighlyVolatile]

* started to [/associate] their perfurme, ...

[HighlyVolatile]

That even happens to me now if I'm surrounded by women I don't even find attractive. It's very weird. But I was just like you when I was a virgin, only really getting most horny when I was alone.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Ah ok. So like it all changes once you have your first experience

[HighlyVolatile]

Yeah, I would say it starts changing then. Changes even more with more sexual experiences, or at least it did in my case. Our brains start to make these associations.

[RobT312]

Hey dude, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
i used to be shy about sex or talking about women with my friends until I had sex.
early on in college I think I felt like you, a little left out.
then after having sex, it’s like the flood gates opened. I learned I had a really high sex drive, and was excited to talk about it, and any girl I found attractive made me horny.
maybe it was just growing up, or maybe sex gave me confidence

[Jamie05rhs]

That's called being a decent human being and not being a creep. Why are you framing it as some sort of deficiency?